King Of Solitude
by misericordia98
Summary: He grew to love his bugs because they were the only noise that disrupted the terrifying silence and solitude that surrounded him at all times. Because he preferred something rather than nothing. And because he had no other choice. /Shino-centered/
1. Blue-Blooded

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **I.**

 **\- Blue-Blooded -**

 _"Whoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god."  
Aristotle_

Anyone else would've lost their mind over that buzzing sound that now filled up the otherwise silent school room. Anyone but him. He delighted in it with a childlike joy.

It was a fly, moving around without an aim or a destination, making spirals and following indefinite pathways. It must've come through the door, when his students ran out because he hadn't noticed it in the last hours, during the lesson. The noise didn't bother him but he found himself to be distracted by it while examining the tests he gathered half an hour ago. The visor helped him detect it right away and observing it turned into a main activity in the last five minutes.

The fly alighted on his desk for a second, then flew away, clashing into the wide window in his right. The hum became louder as it struggled to find its way out but the transparent glass stopped it from doing so. After it hit the surface for the third time, taking pains over leaving the closed room, he almost ran to the window and hurried to open it, unable to watch the scene anymore. The fly escaped soon after and he closed behind it.

A furrow slightly altered his features.

If only he could escape... through the glass, the same way. Leaving the confinement of the four walls around him. Well, he endured thirty years of it, he would surely endure it thirty more. It wasn't that bad. Most of the time it was even bearable.

His palm rested on the glass thoughtfully.

Light. What did it feel like living in it? People around him bathed in light. And they seemed to be happier because of it. Well, happiness was a relative term. Everyone found happiness in different things. Just that his idea of happiness was a nightmare for some. For most, he changed the phrase. It was more fitting. For most... for everyone. For everyone.

Why did it hurt so much? Because that was what life has given to him.

No one chooses his kin... or appearance. Years weren't enough to erase that feeling, lingering inside of him, and there he thought, not once, that they would. While his father had told him many times that he should be proud that he's a significant part of a noble clan, he has never felt his position or his origin as a blessing. More of a curse, actually. Being an Aburame meant isolation. Complete and utter isolation. Not the most pleasant thing for a human, no matter what kind of a human. He grew to love his bugs because they were the only noise that disrupted the terrifying silence and solitude that surrounded him at all times. Because he preferred something rather than nothing. And because he had no other choice.

"Aburame-sensei." Someone called from behind and he turned around to find Konohamaru walking his way.

His breathing was heavy. Most likely because he's been running all the way to the Academy.

"What is it, Konohamaru?"

"The Seventh wanted me to inform you that he wants to have a word with you. At his office."

"Now?"

"Yes. He said it's something important."

"I'll be there in a minute." Shino nodded. "Thank you for telling me."

Konohamaru took a bow and disappeared from his sight.

A sigh escaped Shino's lips as he hurried to gather his things and leave the Academy. It was unusually sunny for October but the chilly wind reminded what the true season was. Konoha was as busy as ever, passers-by in a hurry to get in time back to their working places after the lunch break. Overall the village was noisier at its rush hour, which turned it into a hell of noises and voices that caused his sharp senses pain and his troubled mind headaches. What a bad time to walk the streets. But... he would never ignore a call of duty.

A wave of relief washed through him as he stepped into the Hokage Residence. The noise was muffled and he could think straight again.

"I won't be celebrating anything until you tell me the documents are ready." Naruto's angry voice met him at the threshold. He talked on the phone, apparently but his expression was thunderous. "I will do my job if you do yours."

He noticed Shino entering and waved at him to get nearer.

"Fine. Just let me know afterward." He hung up and banged the phone on the desk. "Geez. What a pain."

"Problems?" Shino asked, stung by curiosity.

"Lots." Naruto leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "I feel like I have to do everything by myself, all the time. And everyone wants something from me."

"Well, how can I help? Konohamaru told me you needed me."

Naruto scratched his head, trying to remember something with a heavy effort.

"Ah, yes!" Naruto snapped, his cerulean orbs now fixed on Shino. "An ambassador from the Iwagakure village is expected to come in Konoha this evening."

"Iwagakure?" Shino raised a brow.

"Yeah. I wanted you to meet the ambassador instead of me because, as you can see, I'm having tons of work to do. The trading pacts we're trying to do with Suna are killing me."

Shino stood still for a while before deciding to speak again.

"Why don't you send somebody else?"

"Come on. You know why." Naruto tilted his head. "I want to have everyone's trust. Iwagakure included. And you're the right guy."

"If the Hokage demands it, I will meet the ambassador. When is he expected to come?"

"Uh, she." Naruto corrected. "I don't know. Probably late. You might wanna get a wording with your father about all that. And please don't address me like that. We're friends, aren't we?"

"We are."

Shino was almost sure his father wouldn't be fascinated with the news. Iwagakure's Kamizuru clan had some history with Aburame. Not one marked with pleasant meetings, for sure. Kamizuru has had its continuous attacks on his clan but its last clash with the Aburame hadn't ended well for them at all. Aburame proved their dominance and everything was settled. But that was many, many years ago, during the Second Shinobi War. Surely no one remembered that old grudge anymore. Still, Shino doubted his father would be particularly happy renewing bonds with such a troublesome bunch.

"Hope he won't get mad at me for this."

"I'll speak with him." Shino nodded.

"Also, uh..." Naruto added, inconveniently.

"Is there more?"

"It'd be a good idea if you show your, uh... benevolence."

Shino remained silent, not sure what that meant.

"You mean hospitality?"

"Yeah. Sort of."

"Of course." Shino drawled. "I'll take care, you don't have to worry about it."

"Great! You're saving my life here." Naruto stood up and offered a hand.

Shino shook it, although he hesitated at first. Naruto's warmth toward him had always touched him deeply for there weren't many that could shake his hand without a trace of disgust... or fear written upon their faces. Naruto kept on insisting he was his friend and he proved it with the years. If there was a person he would die for, that was Naruto. No hesitation clouded his mind whenever his friends needed help.

Naruto's phone rang again and he grabbed it, giving Shino an apologetic expression.

"I assume we'll meet each other again soon enough." He said while Shino walked out.

"Certainly."

The only way to escape the massive amount of voices and sounds he found so far was to try to ignore them. Never helped but it was worth a try. Kept him busy while making his way to the Hospital which was, unfortunately, quite far from the Hokage Residence. If he had to rank the activities he most hated, walking around among that many people and that much noise would've surely taken the first place. There was no hesitation in that choice.

His father had a small accident yesterday. He, himself, assured everyone it's nothing for others to worry about but Shino insisted on him visiting the Hospital. There were these chronic headaches his father received at times and yesterday the next fit caused him some major pain. That's how he ended up in the Hospital. Sakura let Shino know she wants to check on him thoroughly and would delay his discharging with a few days, maybe more.

Shino nodded at some of the familiar faces, once he entered the building and headed straight to his father's room.

It was intentionally darkened so that the light doesn't hurt his senses any more than usual. White sheets and pillows. White walls and frames. What an awful color. He found his father sunk in thought, looking at a point in the window.

"Otou-san." Shino greeted and his father turned.

"Shino."

"Are you feeling better?"

Shibi shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"Yes. Thanks to Doctor Haruno. I spent a little time in her presence and I have reached the conclusion that she's one of the smartest people of your generation."

Shino pulled the chair in his right and sat with a slow movement.

"She might very well be the smartest. After Shikamaru, of course."

"Don't underestimate yourself." Shibi heaved up to a sitting position and fixed his pillow absently. "That you don't show off doesn't mean you're not a worthy opponent." He made a pause, looking at his son. "You were once convinced of that."

"Well... not anymore."

Shino was looking down, thoughtful. This subject, it was the last thing he wanted to talk about at the moment. He was tired of all the school madness and now this. Now, going home was his greatest desire.

"I feel like even I don't notice you anymore. What happened to your dignity?"

The words pierced through as if he was physically hit, the sensation making him grip the sheets in his hands. Normally, he would prepare for blows like that but his father was the one person he didn't expect any form of judgment from. It was rather unexpected. It took him a bit more to regain his composure.

"I don't need to prove myself to anyone." He raised his eyes. "The War ended years ago."

"Don't change the subject." Shibi continued, in a masterful tone. "We are not talking about you proving yourself. We're talking about you forgetting who you are."

Shino stood up sharply, ready to oppose but stopped, remembering that anger was not the way to deal with anything.

"What?" His father asked, as calm as before. "We're both aware you're not what you were. Son," He reached for Shino, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I will not live forever. I may not die in the next years but it will happen sometime."

"I know."

"Aburame are incredibly powerful. We combine high levels of intelligence with unique combat skills you wouldn't find anywhere else. Nobility doesn't come with empty words and expensive clothes, it's proven and acknowledged by those around you. Don't act like a pauper when you have blue blood running through your veins."

Shino nodded.

"You will lead a noble clan one day. I want to see you have what's needed to do that."

"You are disappointed in me," Shino said, in conclusion, and his father fazed for a moment, hand falling down to the sheet. "Have you chosen another successor already?"

The surprise only deepened in the older man as he stood still.

"You don't have to answer that." Shino hastened to add but his voice lowered. He hasn't felt so crushed in a long time. It would be good if he doesn't show any more weakness to his- the head of the clan. "I've come to let you know the Seventh has assigned me to meet an ambassador from Iwagakure."

"Good."

Both of them looked at each other, Shino through his visor and Shibi through his dark glasses, without making a single move.

"Is that all you have to say?" Shino kept on with the even intonation, although he felt like... shouting.

"I'm glad the Hokage trusts you that much." Shibi folded hands.

"Me too."

The pause after their last words prolonged and Shino decided the conversation is not going to get any more gripping than that. He turned to leave.

"Be careful, Shino." His father's voice finally acquired a tinge of softness. "There are some things you don't know."

"Of course."

"You are everything I have." Shibi exemplified. "That's why it pains me to see you so indifferent."

"What do you want me to do?" Shino spoke out, still with his back on his father.

"Earn some respect."

"People fear me. It's the same."

"Is that the way you're planning to live on with until the rest of your days?"

"Perhaps if you hadn't locked me up in a dark room full of insects while I could barely talk, I would've got the chance to actually live a normal life." The words rolled out of him without him being able to think them over. The bitterness just... brimmed over his limit. "Have you ever thought about that?"

"I used to blame my father too. But now I thank him."

"I am not going to thank you for this."

"This is not a path you get to choose. It's an obligation."

"I don't care." Shino faced him again. "Get yourself someone else to lead your clan."

"You are my son," Shibi replied firmly. "Succeeding me is not a matter of choice."

"I don't want the respect... or the power." Shino cut him off but his tone came out harsher than he wanted to. "All I wanted was..." He made a slight step backward, without finishing.

"Shino-"

 _Aburame and their despotic methods no one knew anything about.  
_  
"I'll go." Shino bowed and walked away, aiming to leave the Hospital as fast as possible.

 _Aburame are powerful. Aburame are intelligent. Aburame this... Aburame that._

The thoughts ran through his head as he walked absently between these distastefully white walls.

 _Aburame were cruel and never asked. They didn't offer, they coerced._

Shino was glad to finally breathe in something else than disinfectants in the air.

 _All I wanted was... to be normal._

* * *

What was with him today?

Shino shut the door behind and heaved a sigh. His father never turned against him, for anything. Not once had he expressed so directly disappointment or anything that involved his son's choices. True, he was leading a noble clan and was explainable why he was concerned about its future but... if he was so displeased with his son's way of living why did he say it just now? And his tone... as if the last ten years of his son's life were wasted away.

Shino left the documents on the table in the kitchen. He wasn't even hungry, after that quarrel but he sat, nevertheless. Checking up through these tests could help him get off that dreadful feeling that overwhelmed him since he raised his voice at the Hospital.

A sudden thought crossed his mind and he almost startled. The ambassador. Where was she to reside during the time she was a guest? His hand reached for the phone in his pocket but he stopped it, with another thought reminding him of the answer to the question he was about to ask. So that was what he meant by _benevolence._

Shino furrowed, standing up.

That house hasn't been cleaned for quite a while. Even cleaned, it was terrifying for an outsider. Once or twice he and his father had guests and the uneasiness was fairly discernible on their face after only a few hours. The residence of the Head of the Aburame clan was a solid stone structure with thick walls and almost no windows. In fact, there was one window in the front and one in the back, in the living room and in the kitchen. Everything else was air-shafts and vents. In order to have a complete isolation from the outer world the doors were metal and rather heavy. There was, of course, a form of lighting but it was used close to never so Shino had serious doubts it worked at all. He and his father preferred walking around in a pitch black atmosphere because it was most comfortable for both of them.

They hadn't had guests for years... the house was a mess. Which suggested he had to clean it up at least to a presentable appearance. Whoever it was that came to visit, was radiating waves of nervousness and discomfort. The house sure did look like a fortress... or rather a prison but it wasn't build to suit guests it was build to suit him and his father. And although it wasn't what people would call cozy, it held memories and he was kind of fond of the place.

Shino spent the afternoon in tidying up and fixing the lighting. It has never been a burden for him to do that because it gave him a lot of time to think, an activity which was one of his few joys. Matter of fact, the silence wasn't as bad as he had previously thought. He loved every second of it now. It was a vast space of darkness and stone, this house but he saw it as a haven from all the world's fuss. The forest was his second favorite place but being a human, he couldn't spend all of his time there.

His father might have indirectly rejected him and the choices he has made throughout his conscious life but at least Naruto still put his trust in him. That was enough to ease him that he wasn't a complete disaster. Or so he started thinking... lately. Being a teacher was hard when half of the attendants were scared of you and the other didn't care to notice you. Something with the shape of despair crawled its way under his skin and turned him restless. It's been like that in the last week and he didn't know what to do about it or whether it's a crisis of some kind. He wouldn't put much thought into it if it wasn't his father to underline that state.

He regretted raising his voice back then but receiving the truth for yourself from someone else was painful.

After taking care of the main problem and finishing with the endless sheets of paper that seemed to pile up around him with every day spent in the Academy, he decided to have a change of clothes. Black and grey were the usual colors he wore, no matter the occasion. He never took a liking in any other colors anyway, not bright ones for sure. The simple black circular optic he used for the nights fit perfectly his attire and he headed out at a slow pace. It wasn't that late but the street lamps were lit up and it was rather lively, despite the nipping air.

Shino headed straight to the Gates, hoping that he wouldn't be the one who's late, after all. The notion terrified him. Where would that get him? Naruto would never entrust him with anything again. Moreover, such behavior held a statement that he wouldn't want to convey. Apathy, neglect and a complete lack of respect. He represented Konoha, in the end, that was of greatest importance.

"Aburame-sensei." He heard the voice of the Guard, greeting him.

"Izumo." Shino nodded. "Kotetsu."

Both of them slightly bowed but as Kotetsu smiled, Izumo preferred to take a step back. Involuntarily, perhaps but Shino noticed it. It wasn't the first time Izumo chose to stay away, being a germaphobe. A walking hive was probably one of his greatest fears.

"You waiting for someone?" Izumo asked, forcing a lively tone.

"An ambassador from Iwagakure." Shino put his hands in his pockets, his gaze fixed in the distance. To the ordinary viewer, the forest was enveloped in darkness but it wasn't like that for him. His advanced sight allowed him more clairvoyance than any light would ever be able to get to these two guards. But he kept that for himself, of course.

"I see. The boss mentioned something about it." Kotetsu exhaled.

"So, how are you two doing?"

Kotetsu scoffed.

"It's been awfully quiet lately."

"Yeah," Izumo added. "Nothing happens for weeks. Kinda boring, you know."

"I admire your stoicism. Standing on this post, no matter what, is praiseworthy." Shino turned to them.

"Thanks, man. Appreciate it." Izumo sighed and silence spread between them for quite some time.

Unfamiliar, strong scent reached him. It wasn't anything heavy, though. It seemed strong because it was a mixture. Pollen... he could distinguish it clearly, combined with something more of a sweet fragrance.

"Isn't that your ambassador?"

Shino turned around only to see a tall female figure approaching the Gates at a slow pace.

"She ain't got no bodyguards," Izumo remarked, raising a brow. "Odd."

Her scent was so compelling that Shino found himself walking toward her.

Shoulder length brown hair, her clothes were in pastel green and yellow, a middle-sized rucksack on her back. There was nothing striking in her appearance... except her eyes. Eyes with the color of a molten gold. The lack of light made them look dark amber but didn't take away the spark in them.

"Hello." She greeted softly. "You must be from the Aburame clan."

"I'm afraid, yes." Shino paused. "Hope that fact wouldn't repel you."

"I should warn from the beginning." She gave him a wide smile. "I am not that kind of a person."

Shino was generally surprised by her words but before he could reply she handed him the box in her hands.

"This is a gift, from Iwagakure to Konohagakure." She paused, looking down. "A sign of gratitude and respect. The Fourth sends her regards."

Shino stood still and she waited, not sure if he was going to take the present.

"Who are you?" He asked, evenly.

"Amaya."

"The whole name."

The girl was taken aback by the unexpected interrogation and furrowed.

"Kamizuru," Shino spoke instead of her, slightly tilting his head. "You are a bee user."

Amaya remained silent, hands relaxing down.

"Fascinating." He almost exclaimed, confusing her even more. "I thought there weren't many bee users left."

"Well." Amaya shrugged. "You're right. There really aren't many of us left."

"Let me take that." Shino grabbed the box from her hands and took one of them, shaking it gently. "Welcome to Konoha."

Amaya was still confused from the abrupt changes in his demeanor but replied nevertheless.

"And you are?"

"Shino. Pleased to meet you. Do come with me."

"Shino?" She asked, a tinge of panic in her voice. "Shino Aburame, son of Shibi Aburame?"

"Correct." Shino drawled. "Why?"

"Nothing." She waved with hand, putting another smile. "I've heard the names before, that's all."

"Welcome to Konoha." Kotetsu nodded at her when they passed him and Izumo.

"You _have_ to visit Amaguirama at least once, during your stay, ambas- " Kotatsu nobbed Izumo on the head before he could even finish. " _Ouch_!"

"Shut up."

Amaya couldn't help but laugh at the scene.

"I will. Don't worry."

Shino led her into the village and he opened a conversation not until they were walking down the main street.

"I assume you're tired from the trip."

"Very." She confirmed with a nod.

"What would you like to do now?"

"Sleep, if it's not much of an inconvenience."

"Not at all. Then you'll be touring around the village tomorrow." Shino presumed. "Have you been to Konoha before?"

"No... unfortunately. Everyone says it's a beautiful sight during the Spring."

"It is." Shino sighed. "Good thing is, Konoha's winters are soft and not that long."

"Sounds lovely." She looked all around, soaking up the rich in colors surroundings.

Shino led her through a couple of lively alleys before turning to the Aburame District.

"What brings you here?" He asked as they walked slowly to his house.

"The Kamizuru Clan, which I assume you know have a great influence in Iwa's politics, wants to renew the bond with Konoha's. They want to make a Celebration, an anniversary of their peace treaty. With Aburame, as special guests."

"I see. I'm sure The Seventh would be pleased."

"Hope so." Amaya glanced at him. "What about Aburame?"

"Aburame?"

"Yes, you think they'll accept a party invitation of the sort?"

"We're not exactly... the party types." Shino turned to her after another laughter rang out in the silence.

"I've heard a lot about your clan but I didn't believe most of the stories."

"Chance is, everything you've heard is true." Shino murmured, stopping in front the familiar door. "We've arrived."

He unlocked it and turned on the light, allowing her to step in before closing it.

"Make yourself at..." Shino started but the realization that this house represented, in fact, a nightmare for most, the phrase would sound even weirder. "...at home."

"The noise is completely isolated." There was a smile on Amaya's lips as she scrutinized the lobby and peeked into the other rooms. "I like it."

Shino froze, right after he left the box next to the door.

"What did you say?"

Amaya faced him.

"I like it?"

"You like it," Shino repeated, unable to comprehend.

"Yeah. Why?" She tilted her head, apparently his reaction was quite amusing to her.

"Because... no one likes it in here." Shino walked to her slowly. "You are the first."

"Are you serious? This place is awesome." Amaya continued looking around, captivated.

"If you say so." Shino furrowed, passing her by. "Follow me, please. I'll show you to your room."

As thoughtful as Shibi was, he took into consideration that should a guest room exists in his household, it should be built like a normal room and that was exactly what happened after the last reconstruction they made. So Shino was glad that at least the guest room looked amiable enough.

"Here it is."

"Delightful." Amaya gasped and faced him. "Thank you."

"It's nothing." Shino ignored looking at her eyes, instead stepped back. "My room is right..." He paused, thinking of a proper way to explain. "The grey door in the corner. You can find me there if you need something."

"Thank you, once again." Amaya bowed and for a moment just looked at him in wonder, her amber eyes almost narrowed. "I will see you... tomorrow, then."

"Good night." He nodded and tore his gaze away from her, which, to his great surprise, he found to be a particularly hard task.

* * *

 _A/N: So. After an armored centipede, earwigs, three kinds of spiders, a bee, flies and a bunch of flying monsters visited my room in the last month, I decided that's something like an omen for me. I had to write down this story. I've had it in my head for so long and it bothered me that, ironically, Shino is somewhat neglected in this fandom (lately)._

 _I'm doing this, firstly, because I see myself in most of him and I (and I assume many, many fans, if not everyone at some point) can relate to the pain of being hated/isolated from the others. Whatever power the characters in this manga/anime held, they were humans too. Don't tell me Shino was all happy being alone his whole life, with people constantly screaming around him "Ew... you're gross!"_

 _The second reason I'm doing this because Shino is a really interesting character for me and I couldn't resist adding up something, contributing to the fandom with this small (or not so much, as I see it) story. These Kamizuru wars are canon, actually, I haven't made them up. The only thing I'm making up is my OC. Hope you'll like her. As for Shino, it was about time someone wrote a fanfic with grown-up Shino. There isn't one yet. Such a shame. I'm fixing that._

 _Sorry for the fans of my other on-going fanfics, this has to get out of my head. I've wanted a nice ShinoxOC for years so I'm now trying to make myself one. I'm warning, I'm a slow writer._ _It's not gonna be a long fanfic, too. I planned 10 chapters out, for now, I'll see what happens in the future. All depends on the feedback I receive._

 _With all that said, thanks for reading and until next time._

* * *

 _P.S. Change of plans. Change of rating. The final decision has been made. I'm going with **T** on this one._


	2. Delusions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **II.**

 **\- Delusions -**

Was he dreaming? Laughter rang out somewhere in the far end of the house but he could hear it distinctly. It was so warm and clear that he was sure it was his imagination. The space between these cold walls has always been filled with silence and only silence. It was an unnatural, unearthly sound.

He opened his eyes and got up to a sitting position, reaching for the optic on his bedside cabinet. His tired eyes searched for his phone. 9:20. Wasn't that way too early for anyone to be awake on a Saturday? Shino slowly uncovered from the sheets and dressed up. A quiet humming reached his ears as he opened his door. He followed the sound with no haste for it was most pleasant. Minor tones but were sung lively and got him wondering if he hasn't heard it somewhere after all.

He stopped by the doorstep of the kitchen, at last, and observed without interrupting. Hair tied in a low ponytail, Amaya sat on the very table in a cross-legged position and mixed up something in a small cup. She kept on with her melody but her thoughts were seemingly far. Something about her measured movements or her appearance was rather enchanting. As if a veritable fairy has entered from the slightly ajar window.

Shino was aware that he could stand there for hours without her noticing him. That trait of his has always been a benefit. But she raised her eyes soon after and just stood for a few seconds without making a single movement. Then she abruptly got off the table.

"I'm sorry. Should've... should've asked before-" Amaya's featured twisted into a grimace of heavy concern.

"No, it's alright." He hurried to calm her. "I don't mind."

She looked at him with a guilty expression that soon grew into a laughter of shame.

"Sorry. I... I do that." Her cheeks slightly blushed as she slowly sat back on the table in the same position, eyes dropping down to the cup in her hands. "I... uh, being off the ground makes me happy. It's weird."

"It's not weird." Shino stepped to her and she raised her eyes to him.

"Yeah, it is." She chuckled. "No need to act all polite. A stranger is eating pollen on your table. How is that not weird?"

He neared the table and furrowed at the cup.

"Pollen?"

"Yes. It's mixed with some seeds and white rice." She took the cup and handed it to him. "Do you want to try it?"

Shino hesitated because as it came to tastes and foods, he was the pickiest person he knew.

"Come on. It's just pollen." She insisted. "Not gonna hurt any of your kikaichū, I promise."

Shino looked at her, astounded.

"You are very well acquainted with Aburame."

"You guys are legendary." Amaya defended herself. "Plus, I am a Kamizuru. Trust me, I know lots about Aburame."

Shino stood still for a while. There was something wrong about her but at the same time... her smile was so beautiful that it almost hurt him. It was a wondrous feeling. As if looking directly into the sun. A light so bright that caused pain.

Amaya scooped up a little of the rice with the spoon and offered it to him. After another dose of hesitation, he took it and finally tasted it. The palate was of something viscous and sweet.

She chuckled.

"You're not impressed."

"It's not bad."

"You are a terrible liar." Amaya bit her lower lip. "I'm not going to torture you with this anymore."

Shino went to the refrigerator and pulled out a transparent plastic box.

"Seriously? Grass?" Amaya snickered.

"Yes."

He sat on a chair and opened the box carefully, sinking in silence while his meal lasted. Amaya ate from her cup, joining him. It seemed like she wanted to speak but it took her a lot to get herself to do it. At last, she finished with her rice and left the cup on the surface.

"Do people evade you?" She suddenly asked and Shino stopped eating, raising his eyes to her. "When you walk, on the streets... do they make that circular movement around you? The one they do without meaning it."

"Yes." He replied and continued eating as if nothing happened but Amaya kept looking at him.

"So you know how it feels."

"Yes." He said, for the third time in a row and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips.

"Alright, I'll go put on something for the meeting with The Seventh." She announced and got off the table, leaving the kitchen.

* * *

"Welcome to Konoha." Naruto stood up from his chair immediately after the door opened and Amaya entered with yesterday's box in hands, followed by Shino.

"I'm glad to finally meet you in person, _Nanadaime._ " Amaya stopped in front of him and took a low bow of respect. "The people in my village talked about The Hero of The Hidden Village for years. Your deeds are going to be remembered and passed down to the next generations."

"Uh... yeah. Thanks." Naruto replied with an inconvenience. "I only did what I had to. The rest I owe to my friends."

"Humble, I see." She smiled.

"And married, too." He sighed. "Raising kids actually turned out harder than saving the world."

Amaya laughed at his remark.

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"The good fortune has sent us this one here to take care of the terrors of children we have." He went to Shino and bumped him with his fist. "He might be a weirdo but I greatly admire his patience with them."

"Oh?" Her gaze shifted from one to the other. "A teacher?"

"Although, by the looks of him, he might need some rest." Naruto scanned him from head to toe but Shino didn't even turn his way, which added a heavy comical effect.

"He's been very kind to invite me in his household." Amaya shared. "And not want me out within the first hour."

"Why would I do that?" Shino suddenly intervened and the other two looked at him with surprise.

"Because I'm a weirdo too," Amaya spoke the words out slowly, after the pause.

"We don't throw out guests, you know." Naruto took the box from her hands, finally noticing it.

"Ah, I almost forgot. Please, accept this gift from the Tsuchikage." She took a breath. "She sends her regards and her invitations."

"Invitations?" Naruto glanced up at her while unpacking the gift.

"Yes. She wants to celebrate the anniversary of the peace treaty and invites you and everyone you want to come with you on a... party. Three weeks from now." Amaya put on her dashing smile. "It was about time Iwa showed its hospitality toward Konoha's citizen."

"Sure. Why not? I accept, thank you." He finally opened the box and whistled in admiration.

It was a small replica of the Stone Monument, Iwagakure's symbol, along with the Will of Stone.

"Wow, thank you very much. I appreciate it." Naruto carefully left the statuette on his desk.

"There's also this... side condition." Amaya put on her dashing smile. "It's been decided within the Tsuchikage's Council that they would like Aburame to attend the celebration too. I assume the matter is more personal."

"Kamizuru want to renew their peaceful bonds with Aburame?" Naruto suggested.

"Exactly." Amaya nodded.

"I'll come. As for Aburame, talk with Shino here." Naruto's phone rang and he picked it up, stepping aside from the other two. "Give me a second."

"A teacher?" She teased Shino quietly as he still stood as if frozen in the last minutes.

"It was my heart's desire."

Amaya raised a brow.

"You enjoy screaming of disobedient children at 8 am? I thought most of us, insect users, like our head not pierced by throes."

Shino didn't haste to reply, sinking in thought. She was right about the throes but there was something she wasn't aware of. Teaching had its good sides.

"It's my way to feel useful." He concluded, turning to her. "Besides, I love children."

Amaya didn't laugh this time, nodding in order to show her understanding.

"Ahh, bad news. I have work to do." Naruto turned back to them. "I hoped I'd be able to show you around the city and prove myself a good host but that wasn't meant to happen, it seems." He mumbled the last words, hands raising in defeat. "Sorry 'bout that, ambassador Kamizuru."

"It's not a problem, not at all. Perhaps your friend can show me around." She offered, glancing at Shino.

It took around a minute for Naruto to comprehend the offer.

"Oh... but of course. How did I not think of that earlier? Shino, do you have something else to do?"

"No."

"You go with her, then."

"Thank you for visiting Konoha, ambassador. Hope you like the village, although it's not that grand as it seems to be in the Summer."

"I already love your village _and_ the people in it, Hokage. Thank you."

"Will be seeing you again soon." Naruto addressed both of them and bowed.

Shino gave him a respectful nod and turned to leave with Amaya by his side.

* * *

After a long pause in which both of them walked in silence, Shino finally spoke, remembering something in particular.

"You know, we can transfer you to the Mountain Villa. It's the hotel most of our high guests reside in during a stay in Konoha."

"Really? Sounds fancy."

"It is."

"Oh." Amaya's irises widened. "I'm too loud for you."

"No, you're not. I just-"

"I get it." She raised her head. "I'll go to the hotel."

"Please don't take my words in a wrong way. I only suggest the possibility because it is my obligation. I have nothing against you staying in the Aburame Household. Although staying in it might not be as good of an experience as you might hope. And the view isn't that good. In fact, the house doesn't have a view at all, as you saw yourself."

Amaya held her eyes on him, a playful smile on her lips.

"I was just messing with you. I refuse to stay at a hotel, however fancy it is, if I have the Aburame Household as a choice, that is."

"May I ask why, ambassador?"

"Of course, sensei." Amaya imitated his dry tone. "Where I live, it's quiet and solitary. I'm not used to the noise of a highly populated village, like you. Which makes your house an oasis for me."

The main street was not that lively as it was yesterday but still, one could see quite a lot of people relishing on the last warm sunbeams while strolling up and down the streets. A man and a woman that walked their way suddenly altered their trajectory, turning right in order to walk past the strangely looking duo.

"Here we go again." Amaya clapped her hands. "I actually thought this won't happen to me once I'm in a place where no one knows what I am."

"I'm positive they did it because of me," Shino commented, slowing down to a complete stop.

"Yeah. Guess you're the one at fault here." She said, thoughtfully. "What's going on, why do we stop?"

Shino pointed at a point in the distance and she quickly caught the hint, gasping.

"Is that the famous Hokage Rock?"

"Yes."

"I love it. What an awesome tribute." Amaya gave out a sigh of reverence at the sight. "It's only natural, though. Konoha's given birth to so many legends."

Shino took the time in which she delighted in the view to observe her. Her choice of clothes was intriguing. A knee length dress with the color of aged bronze and a beige coat to keep her from the cold. He noticed just now the small golden rose earring on her ear, now that she had tucked her hair behind the ear. Her skin was pale but not as pale as his, it held just the right amount of color to not call it porcelain. And these eyes... they were like jewels on their own.

"I've got a request." She said, facing him.

"Anything, ambassador."

"That would make two requests." Making a pause, she waited for a reaction but... got none. She slowly put her hand in her pockets. "Do you ever smile?"

Shino was taken aback with the question and was at a complete loss for words. Her expression suddenly acquired sadness he hadn't seen before.

"No?" Her features darkened a tad. "Never?"

Shino didn't know what to say to this so he changed the subject abruptly, using the same even intonation.

"Two requests, ambassador?"

Amaya furrowed at him.

"Yes. Call me Amaya, please."

"And the other?"

"Can we go to the forest?"

"Of course." Shino agreed right away, already heading back. "The Aburame District has a section of the forest of its own. I used to spend a lot of time there. I'm sure you'll like it."

"Please," Amaya called out, almost having to run in order to catch up with his pace. "Slow down. I'll lose you in that throng."

He waited for her to even out with him and continued but the touch of her hand on his startled him and he stopped all over again, looking at her. It was a bit different this time, with the distance a lot smaller between them.

"You know, my clan..." She started, hesitating, eyes running down the line of his jacket. "I'm not sure whether yours have this trait but we are very sensitive to others' emotions."

"I understand."

"You do? " She asked softly, looking up. "Good. Then you can clear up to me... why do I feel like crying when I'm around you."

Shino didn't endure her penetrating gaze and looked down.

"I am very sorry to cause you such inconvenience. I assure you, it's not intentional."

"I know that. Don't worry." She managed a smile, head slightly tilting. "Let's make an experiment, you and I. Let's pretend we're normal people."

"I'm not sure I can cooperate," Shino noted indifferently.

"Can I hold your hand? Will that be too intrusive for you?"

He thought before answering.

"As you wish, ambassador."

Her hand enveloped his arm in a slow movement, as if afraid of what his reaction would be.

"Let's go, then." Amaya lit up when he didn't respond.

It took him a lot of time to get used to a foreign touch, he had to admit that to himself. But once he did, he couldn't help but wonder what in his repelling entity drew that beautiful and elegant creature next to him. Perhaps he would've rejected anyone else but she was such a nice companion. Most of their way she didn't even talk, probably sunk in thought. She seemed to find more happiness in walking next to him than in anything else that happened around her.

He chose to remain silent too as they made their way to the forest.

They sat on a wooden bench and relished on the faint autumn sunlight that penetrated through the thick clouds from time to time. The trees took most of the warmth but then again their thinned crows and colored leaves let through a lot of light.

"Do you live alone in that house?" Amaya asked calmly, ending the silence between them.

"With my father. He's currently in the hospital."

"Is he alright?" She worried, turning to face him.

"Yes. Nothing serious." Shino sighed.

A butterfly alighted on a flower next to them and they both fixed on it involuntarily. Any trace or thought of the previous conversation evaporated as the sight completely took over their attention.

"What are these called?" Amaya marveled quietly. "I've never seen one like that around Iwa."

"We call them Dark Clouded Yellow." Shino's voice slowed down. "Strange. All of them must've migrated south by the end of September."

"She's quite the beauty," Amaya remarked.

"He." Shino corrected. "Males have that rich orange nuance and... black on the edge."

Amaya's point of interest had already changed to him when he turned to look at her.

"Apologies." She said, with a sad smile. "I'll know a male when I see one now. By the dark colors."

Shino slightly backed away from her.

"I didn't mean to sound admonishing."

"Must be a side effect from the teaching." She chuckled. "Seriously. Are you a masochist? What's it like shouting out to these kids for hours?"

"It's mostly discouraging and overall..." He furrowed. "Absolutely disastrous."

Amaya laughed out loud. His even, low tone turned everything a couple of times funnier.

"But?" She asked, trying to calm down.

"I think the only reason these children still pay attention to me at times is that I'm close to their parents." Shino pondered. "Likely, they fear punishment."

"Or bad notes." She narrowed eyes. "Do you get angry at them?"

"No."

"Come on. You've never crossed the line?"

Shino took his time to think.

"I once threatened to let loose my bugs on them." He wasn't even finished with the sentence when Amaya already barely held her laughter. "Because they made fun of me and didn't listen to what I said."

"Ooh. What happened?"

"They were silent for the rest of the day."

"This is brilliant, you know." She noted. "Why don't you use that method more often?"

"Because I don't want them to listen out of fear." Shino snapped and made her blench, backing away.

Her face acquired that concern from before as she observed the battle he was struggling with from aside.

"Sorry." She wearied, fingertips reaching for his hand but he recoiled.

"Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?" He asked abruptly, fed up with her invasive touching.

"Nothing." Amaya's voice slightly trembled. "I want nothing from you."

The pause between them prolonged in one long moment but Amaya's eyes betrayed her. Her irises were widened in fright and he saw that now peering into them behind the dark optic that covered his. Fear, once again. What did he expect to see, though? Admiration? For a moment he thought he sensed compassion in there but... her emotions changed so quickly and were so versatile that he couldn't read her as easily as he did others.

"We said we'd pretend we're normal people, didn't we?" She whispered. "Normal people don't mind skin contact."

"I don't see the point." Shino cut her off evenly and her eyes slightly dimmed.

"My deepest apologies. Very rude of me." Amaya forced a smile. "We don't know each other. I shouldn't have allowed myself such liberties."

"I accept the apology."

The smile on her face widened at his cross intonation.

"It's just that I see you so clearly that... it has misled me into thinking I know you."

Shino furrowed at her.

"How long will you stay here?"

"Is it a problem?"

"No."

Amaya made a pause, her eyes slightly narrowing in confusion.

"Around five days if not more. Depends on the orders I receive."

"Orders? Whose orders?"

A shadow passed over Amaya's face for a split second.

"The Tsuchikage, of course."

Shino tilted his head. What was that just now? Hesitation? Or was it because of the pressure he exercised? Something about her angered him but he couldn't get to it. Her beauty distracted him way too much. That shade of pink that flushed her cheeks reminded the blossoms of a chameleon flower.

"Alright." He concluded. "I trust you."

Exhaling quietly, Amaya finally relaxed, although Shino still stared at her in a rather unnerving way.

"I don't understand." He leaned in, brows wrinkled.

"W-what?" She couldn't help but stutter, the closeness making her tense up once again.

"You fear me, like everyone else."

"No, that's not-."

"Yes, you do." He sighed and gave up on his oppressive scrutiny on her. "I can sense it."

His eyes wandered somewhere ahead, in a point in the forest before dropping down to the ground.

"What is it that you don't understand?" Amaya renewed the softness in her voice.

"How you can..." Shino paused, seemingly frustrated."...touch people so easily."

"It's not differential calculus, you know." She smiled at him. "Here."

Amaya took his hand carefully and intertwined it with hers, despite the fact that he wasn't happy with, nor prepared for her demonstration.

"See? It's not hard."

"Are you doing this with everyone you meet?" Shino's voice had become even lower, eyes intentionally ignoring hers.

Amaya scoffed.

"Of course, not. People usually stay at a safe distance."

"Then, why..." Shino didn't finish, detaching from her.

"You've grown without a mother, haven't you?" Amaya asked, quietly.

"What does that have to do with my question?"

"It has a lot to do with it." She explained, folding hands. "When was the last time someone hugged you?"

Shino sank in silence, not daring to face her. It was quite unpleasant, the sensation of being put through a thorough interrogation. He could feel his heartbeat speeding up, blood pumping a tad more vigorously in his veins. How could a single conversation tense his nerves like that? The realization came quickly afterward. It's been years... since he felt something. Sure, teaching was making him content but not exactly happy. Not excited. It didn't move him to the extent of feeling real and strong emotions.

The adrenaline rush was like an awakening from a long slumber.

"Thought so." Amaya sighed. "It's one thing being an insect user and people evading you, it's another, spending a whole life in solitude."

"I have friends." He said, feeling as if he had to say at least something to defend himself. "They are fond of me and I of them."

"Mmm, but they don't really wanna be near you for long, don't they..." Amaya asked in an altered nonchalance, "these friends of yours?"

"You might want to watch your tongue. These are my friends you're talking about." He warned, looking ahead.

Amaya took a breath and exhaled slowly.

"Come on. Does anyone of your friends even _know_ you? Like, really know you."

"If you are against them, I will go against you." Shino kept on as if trying to deafen her words.

"If what I was saying wasn't true, you wouldn't be so mad."

Anger rose within him but he clenched his fist, keeping it from transforming into an external outburst. He faced her again.

"Stop talking like you know everything about me."

"I know myself." She snapped, raising her tone enough to drag his attention.

"Do your friends know you?" Shino asked in his turn.

"I don't have friends." She scoffed. "What do I need friends for, to remind me how... abnormal I am?"

The bitterness must have intermingled with frustration because her face was flustered in a red nuance.

"I just wanted to tell you I've been there. I thought friends could actually help once." She explained, hands resting on her lap. "Don't do this to yourself."

"My friends support me."

"You have to face the truth."

"They said it themselves."

Their last sentences interlaced, said simultaneously.

"It's all a lie." Her voice cracked and she finished the sentence in a whisper. "A delusion."

Silent but tangible pain pierced through his heart at the sound her words. Why? He didn't want to answer that but his thoughts were deafening sometimes. Because she spoke the truth. His friends... they continued living and left him behind. The invisible figure that always blended in the background, the inessential part, the addition that always remained unwelcome despite the smiles and the reassuring words. Deep in his heart, he had always known that but refused to say it out loud. He thought it a skin-deep wound but it turned out a gash. And it hurt but circumstances were such that there wasn't a cure for it.

A strange feeling stung Shino as he stood still and observed her, on the edge of bursting into tears. It wouldn't intrigue him if it wasn't so... familiar. As if he watched himself in the mirror. Did he really look like this from aside? Hopeless and given up. What a tragic view. The only difference was she expressed in a way he never could.

His hand reached for hers in a tentative attempt and she startled, wonder on her features as she looked first at their hands, then up at him.

"Let's go back, shall we?" He suggested in the same windless intonation.

"Okay." The soft smile lit up her face while both of them stood up but Amaya cast a curious glance at the far point, where the path continued. "Can I take a closer look at the forest before that? Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

Amaya narrowed eyes at him, his lack of distinctive intonation was making it really hard to discern whether he was lying out of politeness or he agreed completely.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. I'm publishing this chapter earlier because I already had it written but the third is in the process of writing. I can't say when will be the next update since I must take care of two other fanfics. But I wouldn't abandon Shino, not for the world. He's always had a place in my heart._

 _Thank you for reviewing,_ _ **Kairikiani**_ _and for the compliments too. I'm glad I conveyed the right emotions concerning Shino. As for Amaya, I'll let her be judged thoroughly by the reader and hopefully, she'll turn out likable in the end._


	3. She Belongs With Light

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **III.**

 **\- She Belongs With Light -**

Against every existent logic he was acquainted with, Amaya found his collection of insects quite fascinating. He had shown it to one or two people before but receiving mixed feeling from their side, he thought it was better left only for his personal enjoyment. Well, Kiba showed interest that one time but the act he put on was as transparent as it could get. Shino appreciated his efforts to make a friend happy by giving attention to his hobby but the collection was so grand that it somewhat appeared... disturbing to the normal mind. Whoever entered that room in his house never got out of it with the same impression for the host.

At least not the same as the one he's had before. The vibe it gave out was more of a stupefied than a fascinated or charmed in any way attendant. Shino was aware of the palette of negative emotions that his various guests felt throughout the visits but for the first time in his life, the emotion he sensed was light and warm and the one stupefied was him.

"Ahh, they're so cute!" Amaya squeaked, peering into the glass box, her hands on the walls. "Why haven't I seen that species in Iwa?"

"These are found more in the northern and eastern parts of The Land of Fire. Iwa's too humid for them. I brought them all the way from Yugakure's outskirts."

"What are they called?" Amaya's eyes sparkled. "I'm in love."

" _Bombus impatiens._ Or as everyone knows them, Bumblebees."

Shino couldn't believe the happiness that Amaya radiated.

She examined the fuzzy and loud bumble bees that flew around, with general curiosity and admiration. Seemed like she took a great liking in them because she nailed on that glass vivarium and didn't want to leave for ten minutes now. An old wooden piece laid in there, corroded by the bees' holes. Their hive was hidden within but it was rather lively, with workers going to and fro.

"Practically impatient bombs. Fluffy and flying bombs." Amaya narrowed eyes as one of the bees alighted on the glass behind her palm. "He likes me. I'll name him Bombie. Cool enough for me."

"It's been given that name because their food resource is a flower from the genus _Impatiens._ That's why-

"I don't think so." She cut him off, shaking head. "Are they aggressive?"

"They are easily provoked into stinging, yes."

" _That's_ where the name comes from." She concluded but as she straightened up again, her smile faded. "I'm gonna miss them."

Shino fought with the selfish desire for quite some time before gathering the strength to ask.

"Do you want me to give you some? If you... have a place to..." He drawled, noticing her upset expression.

"I shouldn't take them away from you. You must be attached to them."

"No, it's alright. If they make you happy."

Amaya looked up at him for a moment.

"Can I have Bombie?"

"Yes."

"Judging from your nearly tortured expression I feel like he had a previous name. One that you like more than mine." She folded hands, eyeing Shino suspiciously. "And you're not telling me."

"Doesn't matter." Shino made a pause. "He's baptized now."

Amaya's hands rested on her sides, her expression becoming serious again. There was some kind of determination in her eyes this time.

She stepped to hug him, the motion making him highly uncomfortable at the beginning but she insisted, hands wrapped around his waist. As tall as she was, compared to the other girls, her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you." She smiled at his inconvenience. "I know what they mean to you."

"It's... it's nothing." He muttered, his hands frozen in mid-air, avoiding the touch.

Amaya finally stepped back, her face shining brightly.

"You're not a fan of hugs."

Shino couldn't understand. There was something in her look that exposed and unfolded and pierced painfully but it was a good pain. She was like an angel and a witch at the same time with a divine power that conquered and could not be resisted. He found himself trying to find an escape from her gaze, despite that his eyes were hidden behind dark glasses.

"I should've known. Sorry." She nodded and continued with the observation of his collection, intrigued by the next specimen across.

How could someone hate and love something at the same time? His fists slowly clenched with the struggle. He didn't want any contact, of any kind. And it angered him that she was that intrusive as if his opinion didn't matter, as if he was the next villager. He was an Aburame. Who was she to act so freely?

But she was so... tender. Even Hinata hasn't hugged him that way.

"Do you want to see the village at night?" He asked, abruptly.

"Excuse me?" She turned around, wrinkling.

"Do you want to see Konoha at night?"

"I would love to," Amaya exclaimed, clapping hands. Her excitement was abruptly changed by confusion. "It's still noon, though."

"I know."

Amaya raised a brow.

"Al-right, then."

"What is it?" Shino almost sensed the strong confusion emanating from her.

"Nothing, just..." She shrugged, glancing at him. "You are very hard to read, you know."

Shino relaxed, taking his time before replying.

"You are not the first to say that to me."

* * *

The hours in that house usually passed slowly during the weekends but that weekend, in particular, it just flew away. It wasn't long until the sun went down and the afternoon crawled slowly and silently as only an autumn Saturday afternoon could. Striding down a small alley, both of them kept it quiet until Amaya didn't decide to break the silence. Once they reached the main street, their pace slowed down and Shino took a deep breath, adjusting to the unpleasant clamor everything around them gave out.

"Where do we go now?" Amaya cheered, hands in the pockets of her coat.

"I don't know."

She was taken aback by his cross tone but somewhat found it to be amusing because a faint smile adorned her features. Her mocking expression didn't stop him from acting all grumpy. Just the opposite, it irritated him even more. She deserved it.

"You sound like I was the one who suggested we go out." She chuckled, then added slowly. "You weren't going to take me to dinner, were you?"

Shino remained silent as they paced one next to another.

"Goodness, you were!" Amaya bit her lip, giving him an apologetic expression. "I did eat dinner already, though. I'm really sorry."

The people who passed by cast curious glances at them, not missing to surround at different radiuses around them. Not that Shino was worried but it seemed like it bothered the woman next to him because she was obviously restless.

"Why didn't you eat with me?" She asked, careful. "Is the problem in me?"

"Not at all."

"You're not used to company, is that it?"

He looked at her.

"My apologies. I know it's rude to not make my guest company but I wasn't feeling very well."

"Yeah, you disappeared from my sight with that excuse and I spent the whole afternoon wondering if I did something wrong." Amaya tossed her head, teasing him.

"You have done nothing wrong. I just wasn't hungry."

Amaya glanced at him.

"You just wanted to be alone for a while, I take it."

"Correct."

"I know some tricks that could've helped you feel better. Insect users have some sensitive spots." Amaya raised her left hand up, leaning to him. "This spot," She pointed at the spot between her thumb and her forefinger, "is one of them. Rubbing it helps you get rid of a headache."

Shino's lips parted in a silent awe as he nearly stopped.

"You didn't know that." Amaya laughed. "I'll tell you more if you want."

"Please do." He nodded, taking up with his usual pace.

"Oh!" She snapped as if remembering something important. "Can we go to that place the guard recommended me?"

"Of course."

Fortunately, Amaguirama had now covered their inner yard and the places where people usually sat were protected by wind and the cold during the winter days. The cafe was cozy but not as much as Shino remembered it. During the time of his youth, Amaguirama held some kind of a charm that has somehow evaporated through the years. It just wasn't the same.

They decided to go for two cups of tea, in the end, and sat at a secluded table in the corner.

"Don't you want to taste anything of the sweets?" Shino asked her, glancing back at the shop-window. "Since you've already had dinner."

"You're still mad about this!" Amaya exclaimed.

"You knew we were going out and you still did it." He turned to look at her, exercising his calmest intonation but she was covering her face with hands, unable to stop the laughter from coming out of her.

"I said I'm sorry."

"I know."

Amaya managed to calm down, placing her palms on the table.

"Wish I could hear that dry _I accept the apology_ from you again." She sighed, leaning back in her chair.

Shino knew she peered through his glasses steadily but didn't care to meet her eyes, looking down. He found himself avoiding them the whole day because they distracted him. The brief detaching from her presence he did that afternoon only led him to a stronger form of a headache. And something else too. There was this void inside of him that wasn't there before. Alone in the silence... he had always thought that's what he was meant to be but her laughter left him restless and mixed feelings mingled in him.

Never before had he liked noise of any kind, he still didn't. Her laughter, though, its timbre was not unpleasant. Just the opposite, he almost heard it in his head amidst the darkness of his own room and couldn't help but need to hear it again.

 _Need?_

Needs were dangerous. He knew himself well enough to notice, he was prone to addicting. And that laughter was addicting, and he couldn't understand why. It made him feel some kind of a warmth that has been missing.

"I accept the apology." Shino finally spoke, winning a wide smile from her right away.

Before she could speak a waiter came and served them the tea.

"Would you like something else..."

"Amaya." Her cheeks reddened at the curious look the waiter gave her, completely ignoring Shino.

"Amaya, anything else?" The boy appeared overly interested in her and she took a breath, nervous.

"You see, I am not from here and I thought you could bring me something that I can remember my visit in the village with. I leave the choice to you."

"Very well." The boy nodded and left quickly.

Shino followed him with his eyes, furrowing. As much as he was used to being ignored, that boy completely shut him out of his sight.

"Poor boy, he is so into me. I wonder what would happen if I tell him I have bees in my body."

Shino took a sip from his tea and focused on the steam that curled over the cup in front of him. The sound of a chair stirring his way dragged his attention but he nearly flinched when he saw Amaya bending her head so that she could catch his eyes through the dark lenses. Only that she was really close.

"I can see your eyes, you know. But only from that close." She interlocked her hands on the table and averted her gaze.

"He didn't even notice you. Now I feel bad about it. I'll avenge you." She whispered, smirking.

"Here you go." The boy returned with a small plate, full of curiously looking balls. "Sand Dumplings. You'll love them."

"Thank you. Is there vanilla in here?" Amaya wrinkled her brows.

"Yes. Why?" The boy couldn't take his eyes off hers.

"Uh," She gave him an innocent smile. "Insects are repelled by vanilla. I'm afraid we'll both end up throwing up if we eat that." In the brief pause, she glanced at Shino who stood still and silent. "That'd be awful, you know."

The color of the boy's skin quickly faded as he stood as if hit by a lightning and couldn't decide what to do.

"You know what, take that away and we'll pay only for the tea." Amaya took the plate and handed it to him but the boy seemed as dumbfounded as it could get. "Please."

At her last word, the boy snapped out of his state and grabbed the plate, leaving their presence at a fast pace. Not until the boy disappeared from their sight suppressed sounds came from Amaya and Shino looked at her. She had her mouth covered again, with the back of her palm.

"I'm not the vengeful type but I had to do it. He should've asked what you want, too."

"I would've done the same as him," Shino said, still focused on his companion.

Amaya's dark hair fell around her heart-shaped face in a rather captivating way. It wasn't completely free, though. A small creamy bowtie held a lock of hair on the side of her head and created this lovable air around her. And her perfume... as refined as it was, he still distinguished that base sweet scent she carried, despite the fact that many and confusing scents intermingled all around them. As he thought about it if neither of them hadn't spent years among people and hadn't lived in villages for most of their lives, that noise and those scents were going to overwhelm them.

"You?" Amaya met his eyes, wondering. "You are not a tenth as ignorant and rude as him. There's no comparison here."

"He's younger." Shino slightly tilted his head.

Amaya scoffed, sensing the way that conversation was going.

"I prefer someone experienced."

"Young is easily molded."

"Young doesn't understand what is like to be lonely. He never will, I see it in his eyes."

Shino thought for a moment before speaking, looking down at the tea between his hands.

"He can learn to understand."

"Uh-uh." Amaya hurried to parry. "You are wrong on this one, sensei. You either know what it's like or you don't. No in between."

"Doesn't make him unreliable."

"He's impatient. Young always wants everything at the very second." Amaya narrowed eyes. "Patience is what wins my heart."

"You should've told him that instead of scaring him away."

"Serves him right. If he's revolted by insects, he's revolted by me. I don't see how we'll work out."

"Painting a gruesome image as the one you did for him isn't a good way to start a relationship," Shino advised her but her smile only widened with every word he said.

"Gruesome image? That's the truth." She raised a brow. "If he can't handle the truth, I don't want him."

"Cruel," Shino noted calmly. "You didn't even give him a chance."

"I am the one who's cruel? I think you are crueler than me." Amaya's voice lowered vastly whereat he turned to meet her eyes, confused at the sudden emotion. "For not giving a chance to yourself."

Shino opened his mouth in an attempt to reply but the words didn't come out. He furrowed, seeing the sadness she held. Sadness... for him? Why would someone get so sad over him?

"My time has passed." He averted his gaze from her, unable to watch her twist her features like that. As if she saw right through him.

"Time," She leaned to him, smiling. "is a relative term."

* * *

"And they all screamed and shouted, running to the corner of the room and I just died laughing." Amaya wiped the tears that have formed in the corners of her eyes, tears of laughter. "All that, for a _bug._ It wasn't even a dangerous bug. _"_

"I have similar experiences," Shino said, thoughtfully. "People have this fear of bugs and I don't understand it."

"That's probably because they're not used to them." Amaya shrugged. "Like us."

"I suppose you're right."

"Some bugs are dangerous, though." She hurried to add. "It's an inner instinct, to run from danger."

They just reached the Aburame Household when the conversation ended. The sky was darker with the fall of the night. Walking around in Konoha at that time... Shino never thought he would do that. Much less with such an intriguing figure. Amaya was fascinated by everything she saw in the village and appeared at her happiest. The temperatures dropped drastically at one time, though, and they decided they'll call it a day.

"Please." Shino gestured to her to enter before him and she nodded in gratitude.

He stepped in and clicked the door closed. His hand reached for the lighting switch and turned it on but the light flickered a few times, bright and dark, before dying completely out.

"Apologies. I feared it might break down when it shouldn't-" Shino didn't finish, almost hearing Amaya's racing heart.

"Are you alright?" He asked, stepping to her.

His voice startled her and she immediately pasted her back to the cold wall, her breathing becoming heavier and heavier with every second. A quiet moan escaped her lips as her hands lifted up in front of her face in an attempt to defend herself. Her back on the wall as if she's forced against it, Amaya appeared completely helpless. He observed her without interrupting, the darkness offering him a clear view of the scene. Gradually a furrow formed on his face.

"Amaya?" He called at a loss, shifting in front of her.

She shut her eyes, shrinking as if in expectation of a blow.

Several ideas emerged in Shino's mind at the sight but none of them was he going to unfold because it wasn't the time for it. The emotions raving inside of her were of pure terror, they were strong enough for him to feel them. He couldn't possibly let her remain in that state for minute longer.

"Amaya," Shino repeated, exercising his calmest intonation. "You're not in danger here. Do you hear me?"

She still breathed heavily when her eyes opened and went to and fro in surprise. For a split second, Shino felt the urge to get closer. It hit him like a strike of a lightning bolt but the strength of that desire frightened him and he stepped back.

"I'll be here in a second." He said, going in the back in order to see if the safety fuses haven't blown.

Fortunately, they had not and he fixed the lighting as quickly as he could, in fear that leaving her there, alone in the darkness, wouldn't be wise. Soon the light lit the corridor up once again and he returned to her, stopping at a safe distance.

"Are you alright?" His voice was calm and collected, although he didn't want it to sound as distant.

Amaya still leaned on the wall, the pupils of her eyes still wide and her hands still trembling. The way she looked at him as if she was on the verge of breaking down but she... couldn't afford to. But why? Before he could think any further she broke the awkward silence.

"You called me by name just now, didn't you? " She chuckled, hands enveloping her own arms. "I lived to hear. Though I'll be honest, I prefer Aya."

Shino furrowed at her. If he hadn't witnessed everything he'd think that whole scene was a hallucination of his. She looked too composed. Only that her face was pale.

"I... uh," She gave him an apologetic smile. "Flickering lights have this effect on my bees. They... dazzle me."

 _Lie._

Red light turned on in Shino's mind as he tilted his head. That's the first statement he detected as a hundred percent lie. He knew there was something wrong with this girl from the start.

"I'm fine, I just..." Amaya gave out a nervous laugh. " I'm so sorry. I make you feel uncomfortable since I've arrived. Should've stayed in that fancy villa you mentioned."

She made a step to him but faltered and her hand instantly leaned on the wall for support. Shino was generally confused. If she was an ordinary woman, he would've paid no mind, but she was an ambassador. And she came... alone. That fact lingered at the back of his mind and gave him no peace, despite that there was no obvious reason he had to worry. For now.

He went to her and offered a hand, seeing how pale she turned in a matter of seconds.

Amaya muttered a short apology under her breath and enveloped his arm, walking beside him in silence as he led her to her room, lighting it up as he entered. Another long pause followed when Shino was torn apart between the desire to leave and stay. There was something really wrong. He knew because he felt it. That dreadful gut feeling. With almost every muscle in her body strained, heart racing and hands trembling around his own, the tension in her was tangible. She clung to him as if she needed to, her form slightly shrunk toward him.

Whatever happened to her, it hadn't left anything good afterward, he was certain of that. So fearful he'd never seen her by now.

"Should I stay with you?" Shino's composed interruption startled her and she looked up at him, her cheeks slowly acquiring a shade of pink that gradually deepened to red.

"Goodness, no. Thank you but no. That would be..." She laughed, letting him go all of a sudden, raising her palm in a gesture of gratitude. "No."

"You should leave the light on." He said matter-of-factly, not bothered by her reply.

"Oh, yes. I might." She bit her lip, eyes down for a second. "Good night."

In the moment her voice shook, at the last word, he knew she changed her mind.

"I'll stay."

"I have no right to..." She tilted her head, whispering. "Please."

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Shino asked right away.

"I can't." Amaya's eyes blurred, head shaking. "I can't."

"I won't ask, then. Is that alright with you?"

Her expression said _no_ but she didn't reply, staring at him helplessly. That confused him most of everything. She did want to tell him but her mouth was tightly shut.

"You know what, I'll be fine," Amaya promised, swallowing down. "I will."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. You can go to sleep."

Shino wasn't one to wait for a second call so he stepped away from her, leaving the room but before that her warm touch made him stop one last time. She was leaning on him but being with his back to her, he couldn't see her face.

"Thank you for being so kind to me, Shino." Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard it, as developed as his senses were. "I don't deserve it."

* * *

With these words, she broke away the touch and he knew it was time for him to go.

The words repeated in his mind throughout the whole night and didn't give him peace. He knew that they wouldn't because the questions became more and more and there was no answer to any of them. The only clear answer he got was to the another, more of an insignificant question. One that he asked himself for years now.

Odd but... those lights helped him apprehend. Having the reflection of another human being, too, he finally understood with whom, or rather with what, his place was.

He belonged with darkness.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading. I have a garden and these fluffy round thingies always visit our flowers in Spring. I've been in love with these loud bumble-bees for years and decided to include them because they're practically super cute and fat lol Always makes me laugh when they alight on a flower and it bends down because they're too heavy. Ok, I sound like an Aburame now. Enough of this._

 _I'll be honest here, that fanfic is practically ripping my heart out and I haven't even reached the 'bad' part yet. Shino's mind is a lonely place, filled with logic. That's so heartbreakingly sad because it sounds like he constantly tries to explain himself the tragedy of his existence with the calmness and the stability of a sage. Freaking love Shino. And I am kinda mad at Kishimoto for leaving him all alone._

* * *

 _Thanks for the review,_ _ **MJ299.**_ _I greatly appreciate you saying those things! I also think I haven't seen a slow-developed story with Shino until now. I'd love to keep him as he is, as much as I can. Amaya, though, you'll see, I ain't spoiling. I can only spoil that she's tightly connected with Shino and it's not about something good._

 _Thank you for the excitement,_ _ **Neatfreak47** and **Rockrgrl4.** Totally make me wanna write on._

 _Thanks, **barrbs, Y,** and **Imogen.** I do my best to update as fast as I can._

 _ **Guest,** I hope you'll have the patience to see what happens ahead. I promise it's gonna hurt lol Thanks for leaving a review._


	4. Everyone But Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **IV.**

 **\- Everyone But Me -**

"Now..." Shino took a breath, turning to the class. "The faster you find a solution, the quicker I'm letting you go."

"Counting on you, Boruto." Mitsuki murmured but it was quiet enough for the whole class to hear and snickering spread across the room right away.

"It wouldn't be bad if someone else tries to solve the problem, too."

"You can do it," Sarada pushed Shikadai's shoulder and he startled, heaving up from his previous sleeping position.

"What? Who?"

Shino heaved a sigh but Amaya's suppressed chuckle in the distance drew his attention and he looked up at her. She sat on the far end, in the back, and observed the school process with genuine curiosity. Her cordial aura radiated from the very morning and when she shared her strong desire to see him teach, he just couldn't bring himself to refuse. He tried, of course, but to no avail. She was as insistent as it could get.

The class noticed her when she entered with him but he promised to introduce her right after they finish with the important lesson.

"Shikadai, if you're interested in solving the math problem I've currently given to all of you on the board behind me, the whole class will be going home earlier."

"Tch," He puffed, furrowing at the equation. "I could do it if I wanted to but I don't."

"Come on, man." Chouchou turned back to look at him. "You gotta save us."

"Yeah." Sarada leaned to him, putting an innocent smile. "Please."

"I'll do it." Boruto snapped, suddenly infuriated by the view.

Sarada's lack of faith in him always led to wondrous results. Shino didn't think Naruto realized how much his son was like his father in some ways. He didn't care what was the fight for as long as he was proclaimed the winner.

"I don't see how _you_ are gonna solve that," Shikadai murmured, opening his notebook. "Dumbhead."

"Shut up, nerd." Boruto started writing fast in his own sheet of paper, the determination in his eyes sparkling visibly. "Just watch."

"Competition is always useful." Shino folded hands, proud of the lively response his students showed.

The room sank in silence for a short amount of time while the competition lasted but Boruto was the one to find a solution to the math problem first, in the end. Shino saw the great potential in the boy long ago. The problem was that he was too good in spite of his classmates. Shikadai, on the other side, was as brilliant as Shikamaru himself. Not much of a surprise, though, a Nara's mind was always a wonder.

"I think you two should solve harder problems. Boruto, do you want me to give you something more interesting?"

"Yes." The boy snapped but then his cheeks slightly reddened with inconvenience. Showing that much enthusiasm about mathematics could turn him into an object of mocking. His first reaction told Shino enough, though.

"Shikadai, do you want one, too?" Shino turned to him but Shikadai only puffed, furrowing.

"No, thank you, sensei."

"Alright, everyone is free to go. Boruto, come to me with your notebook."

A couple of students stood up but most of them hesitated, noticing something else.

"Aburame-sensei, you promised to introduce us to our guest!" Sarada reminded out loud, glancing at Amaya.

Shino looked up at her, taking a few seconds before finding words.

"But of course. I promised. Just a moment, please."

Amaya raised her hand in a gesture that was supposed to calm everyone down and show them it wasn't much of a deal that they have forgotten her.

Shino went to Boruto and quickly wrote something in his notebook, leaving him furrow over it.

"Alright everyone, I'm sorry for keeping you overtime but you asked for it." He said out loud, hands up in the air and was followed by a quiet hoot.

"I don't wanna go home anyway. It's a hell of a fuss with the coming party."

"Yeah... can't wait." Shikadai pouted. "The next birthday we'll just sit and do nothing while our parents cheer and talk for hours. Boring."

"Your parents?" Shino slowly rested his hands on his sides, his intonation completely even.

"Yeah." Boruto blew off his cheeks, heavily irritated. "Dad's birthday. He and mom just _had_ to invite the whole world in our house."

"Did they?" Shino's voice lowered an octave.

"It's cramped enough." Boruto furrowed.

"Your mom cooks delicious, though." Chouchou giggled. "I'll be happy to eat some of those home-made bonbons she makes."

"Excuse me for a moment," Shino said abruptly and headed out of the classroom.

His strange decision surprised the students and they silenced immediately, following their sensei leave at a fast pace. Amaya stood up, smiling at them.

"Uh, I'll go see what's wrong." She announced softly. "We'll be back in a minute."

"Is he alright?" Sarada raised a brow.

"I don't know." Amaya gave them an apologetic expression, walking down the aisle. "And I am very sorry to keep all of you here because of me."

"Not a problem." Boruto drawled, still confused.

"I'll bring him back, no worries." She chuckled, leaving the classroom.

* * *

How foolish of him. To think his friends would act like friends. It wasn't too much to ask, wasn't it? For them to care. Guess he was the useless one in the group after all.

He leaned against the concrete wall, sudden shortness of breath attacking him. Nothing serious, just a little trouble with breathing.

They forgot about him. Forgot... to invite him. There was this dull ache in his chest that he couldn't get rid of. It was so heavy and painful that he couldn't manage to scatter it away. It suffocated and pulled down like an anchor. It wasn't that unfamiliar of a feeling, it just hasn't ever been so strong.

"Shino. Are you alright?" Amaya called from behind and he turned around but as she neared her steps gradually slowed down and her face... with every inch closer it withered until she didn't stop within his range, tears filling her eyes. They soon brimmed over, falling down her cheeks and she parted her lips in what looked like a mixture of dread and awe.

Shino made an unconscious step backward. So she really sensed others' emotions, after all. He thought it wasn't completely true when she told him back then. Now, she appeared even more upset than last night. Matter-of-fact, that upset he hasn't seen anyone recently. The heavy pain was written all over her face and she seemed to have trouble comprehending it. He took another step back, suddenly a feeling of guilt washing over him. It was his fault she was in pain, right?

"You," She whispered, narrowing eyes. "You're..."

Her trembling hand reached for him so carefully that it looked like she was reaching for an apparition that was about to disappear in front of her very eyes. Shino was taken aback by her state, still not sure whether she was a strong empath or just a good actress. But his own senses were clear enough. What she felt, it was completely real.

The tears still gushed from her eyes when she stepped to him but he recoiled once again.

"You must stay at a safe distance. It seems I have a heavily negative influence on you." He noted, matter-of-factly.

"Shut up." Amaya snapped but her voice failed her and broke off. "Don't speak."

Shino stood still, furrowing at her. What did he say, again? She covered her face with hands, trying to hide her tears.

"I am very sorry." He tried again, though his formal tone didn't change a bit.

"Shino..." Amaya neared him and wrapped her hands around him in a gentle hug. "No need to apologize for that, alright?"

He was even more confused than before so he didn't know what to say to that. Or what to do.

"Hug me." Amaya hinted with a frail chuckle. "Please."

Glad that she has granted him with a solution, he obliged.

"That's right. I knew you could do it." Amaya closed her eyes, leaning on him. "I don't know what happened in that classroom but you are not alright."

Shino closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in the light fragrance of Amaya's hair. That heaviness in his chest... faded away. How did she manage to fix everything so easily? Perhaps she was a witch after all.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." Amaya's body trembled with a quiet laughter. "I just... wasn't prepared. Didn't think anyone can get _that_ upset."

"I'm not upset."

Amaya heaved a heavy sigh, continuing with a pleasant murmur.

"You might've fooled everyone by now but it wouldn't work with me, you know. Sensing emotional states is one of my strongest abilities." She paused. "May have something to do with the fact that I'm a woman. Innate empathy."

"I think we should get back to the classroom." Shino opened his eyes but the thought of parting with her panicked him a tad. What if he couldn't restore his stability of mind again? If the pain returned?

"Shino, I'm not gonna let you go." Amaya pulled away a bit, her hand interlocking with his so casually, as if she's done it a million times.

It was frustrating to have someone read him like that. He thought himself a lot of things but nothing was close to transparent. Shino looked at their entwined hands for a second and back to her face. She waited for him patiently, a tiny smile on her lips.

Shino made a step forward but stopped again, turning to her.

"We shouldn't do that in front of them."

"Why?" Amaya raised a brow but the thought came quickly to her mind. "You fear gossip?"

"I..." Shino didn't quite want to let go of her, that was the truth. But his students could spread some rumors he wasn't completely fine with. "Just for now."

"Okay." Amaya shrugged, detaching from him.

They quickly returned to the classroom and remained in the front while all of the confused and curious pairs of eyes were fixed on them in silence.

"I promised to introduce our guest. I must apologize for keeping you for so long." Shino spoke out loud. "This is Amaya Kamizuru. She's an ambassador coming all the way from Iwagakure."

"Woah," Boruto blurted, followed by his classmates' comments.

"Nice to meet you, ambassador."

"Is it cool in Iwagakure?"

"It is." Amaya laughed. "But I like Konoha better, I'll be honest."

"Are you a shinobi, too?" Sarada asked, on top of the excited voices.

"I am." She looked at Shino. "I'll leave it to your sensei to explain."

"Explain what?" Shikamaru's gaze bounced between the two of them suspiciously.

"She is..." Shino glanced at her for a moment before looking back to his students. "Like me."

"An insect user?" Chouchou's eyes widened in fear. "More bugs?!"

Amaya chuckled.

"Yes, I'm afraid." Shino sighed. "More bugs."

"Why doesn't she cover her eyes, too?"

"I am a bee user, I can handle light." Amaya hurried to explain. "His type of bugs don't allow him to have his eyes unprotected like the rest of us. It's called crepuscular vision."

"Aburame-sensei never told us anything about his clan so... thanks for sharing." Shikamaru pouted.

"Yeah, he never says anything."

"Yeah."

The verbal riot that rose up didn't bother Shino in the least. He was glad they knew nothing of Aburame. Thoughts sinking deep into his past, he reiterated the childhood memories of those dark hours, spent in dark rooms with creeping and whizzing insects, making his way through his body when all he could do is stay silent between four walls that isolated every noise.

It was as if the darkness became denser and denser with every minute, crawling underneath his skin and the pain more unbearable than in the minute before. The horror exceeded every other emotion raving inside of him. Then it slowly hushed, leaving no choice for him but to reconcile with it and accept the shadows and that noise as a part of himself, as his ultimate strength. Variety of powerful bugs. Thousands upon thousands of living cartridges that could crush the target of his anger, if he only wished.

He knew that as the son of the clan's leader he'd have to cover expectations and even surpass them. It fell upon him to thread the path of perfecting and polishing his clan's skills as they have never been before. A new generation, with a greater power.

Days of fear alternated days of pain. He couldn't remember when but he gave up on calling for help at some time. It was a hard thing to do, having to realize that no one's gonna come and wrench him out of that madness his clansmen called a process of hosting. He was never to seek light anymore. And never to question his superiors' will for he was meant to become a living weapon.

Surprising. Did he really think everything in that complicated way back then? Probably not because children don't think that way. They can't even speak in their first years.

"Shino," Amaya whispered hoarsely, leaning to his ear. "Stop it."

He startled, returning to reality. Looking at Amaya's tearful eyes confused him, although he knew he had to continue talking. The class waited in awkward silence. Shino never thought he'd feel so helpless in a situation. As if he fell into a pit and he didn't know how to get out or what to say.

"Ambassador, are you alright?" Sarada broke the silence.

"Yes, I just have something in my eye." Amaya slowed down with her reply, trying her best to smile. "In both eyes."

"Anything else you want to ask ambassador Kamizuru?" Shino intervened abruptly.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Chouchou asked all of a sudden and Amaya exchanged glances with Shino.

"No." He replied, quickly.

"Yeah, she is." Shikamaru puffed. "It's obvious."

The class burst into another clamor, leaving Shino completely baffled.

"We'll go, sensei." Boruto waved a hand, standing up.

Shino didn't mind them leaving the Academy already, he did hold them overtime but he couldn't manage to speak out loud. There was a small chance but it completely blew off when Sarada and Chouchou came to part with Amaya officially and left another striking comment.

"I'm very happy you visited us, ambassador." Sarada took a bow of respect and smiled at her. "Hope Aburame-sensei would keep you longer in the city."

Chouchou leaned to Sarada and whispered something that could've been impossible for the ordinary person to hear but the attendants didn't really fit into that category and could hear a whisper from very far.

 _Maan, I can only wish to be as beautiful as her!_

Amaya blushed against her will, nodding at them.

The hall emptied a few minutes later but neither Shino nor Amaya had made a single move.

"Shino, mind explaining to me... what's happening?" Amaya spoke quietly, first to shift closer. "It hurts."

"Nothing," Shino replied evenly and went back to take his things from the desk. "Just memories."

"Of what?"

"It's not important." He commented absently, caressing his forehead.

Amaya went to the desk and leaned her palms on it, furrowing.

"You can tell me."

"You keep secrets from me. I think it's fair if I do it too."

Shino took everything and headed out of the room.

"Is that it? You're not telling me because of last night?" Amaya tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, following him out of the building.

"No. I just refuse to share. I have that right."

With those words, Shino locked himself in silence and left Amaya pout after him.

* * *

"Oh, Shino! Hey." It was a quiet, ethereal voice that reached them from behind and they both turned around at once. It was the tiny figure of a dark-haired woman with silvery eyes that caught up with them on the same side of the lively street they walked through.

"Hinata." Shino greeted with a nod.

"How are you?" She smiled, looking at Amaya's cross expression. "Will you introduce me?"

Shino was still and quiet for a moment but he made up his mind and decided pouting was for children.

"This is Ambassador Kamizuru Amaya. She's coming from Iwagakure." He glanced at her. "Ambassador, this is Uzumaki Hinata, a shinobi from the noble clan of Hyuga. Wife of the Seventh."

Hinata's face flushed red at his words but she managed to bow, greeting Amaya whereat the latter responded with the same.

"Hope you have a pleasant stay at Konoha, ambassador Kamizuru." Hinata chuckled faintly. "I'm afraid my husband has too many things on his mind and couldn't pay you much attention. I assure you, he's n-not ignoring you on purpose."

"Thank you. But don't trouble yourself with that. I'm perfectly content with everything I've been given by now."

"Is Shino taking care of you?" Hinata slightly tilted her head, her voice a tad teasing.

The postures they have taken were rather odd, both of them have turned more of their back to the other and the scene gave rise to doubts. Amaya just opened her mouth and closed it soon after, furrowing.

"Well, he does. But I'm not sure he does it willingly." She said, at last.

"Shino, what have you done to the girl?" Hinata's eyes changed, colored by concern.

"I don't know. Surely something that I'm worth scolding for." Shino pondered.

"He might be strange sometimes." Slightly touching Amaya's hand, Hinata whispered to her with a faint smile. "Don't mind him."

"He's not strange." Amaya snapped, drawing Shino's attention. The tone was almost harsh and Hinata stepped back, surprised. "Stop calling him names, please. He's as human as all of you."

"I'm s-sorry." Hinata's voice trembled as she placed a curled fist on her chest. She bowed low. "Very sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

Amaya released her breath, glancing at Shino for a moment before her amber gaze went back to the white-eyed woman.

"It's me that should apologize. Please, accept my deepest apologies. I was being too harsh." It was Amaya's turn to bow and Hinata straightened up, still perplexed.

She extended her hand with a warm smile and Amaya heaved up.

"Friends?"

Amaya gladly took it and smiled back.

"Friends."

Shino shifted uncomfortably when a large group of loud-talking teenagers passed by them. Amaya noticed his reaction to the unpleasant noise and hurried to help.

"We should go." She suggested, trying to hint at Hinata their intentions.

"Of course, I'll leave you." Hinata put hands in her pockets, stepping back. "Ambassador Kamizuru, you are invited to the birthday, too."

"Call me Amaya, please. What birthday?"

Hinata chuckled.

"The Hokage's birthday. You can come with Shino."

"I'm not invited." Shino intervened, at last, his voice as calm as ever.

"Of course you are," Hinata exclaimed. "We sent you an invitation, didn't we?"

Shino's continuous silence filled the space with a heavy tinge.

"Let's go, ambassador." He said, not bothering to even look at Amaya. "It was nice to meet you, Hinata."

"Shino, I'll be waiting for you on the birthday!" Hinata's hand rose as if trying to make him stop as he surrounded her and went on his way.

Amaya held Hinata's pained expression for a second before hurrying to catch up with her previous companion. They walked in silence for quite some time but Amaya seemed to fight an inner battle whether to speak out loud or not. Shino was convinced she need not ask all those questions she asked earlier. Hinata managed to give her a clear enough answer.

"Do you know what you feel like from my point of view?" Amaya glanced at him.

"I don't."

"You feel like a big bundle of crumpled steel," She slowed down, looking down at her feet. "that keeps on crumpling and shrinking, more and more."

"You fear the outcome."

"I fear you've grown used to something that no one shouldn't."

Shino stopped abruptly and she mirrored right away but neither of them spoke. All they did was stare at each other. As much as he was angry, the fright in her eyes was tangible. It was clear to him that she tried to put on a proud and strong appearance but what she felt was slightly different. He was about to raise his voice at her but changed his mind when she, still looking cross, took his hand abruptly and squeezed it, stepping at him.

"You are so going to that birthday." She said through clenched teeth.

"No, I'm not. I wasn't invited."

"Don't make me slap you in public." Amaya narrowed eyes.

Shino backed up a bit, fazed at her sudden aggression.

"Quit feeling sorry for yourself."

"You think I feel sorry for myself?" He asked slowly but his tone applied wonder to her fair eyes.

She was confused for one long moment but then decided to step even closer, raising her eyes up to his. Shino didn't feel like he could think straight when someone was invading his space to that extent but chose to stay still and wait to see what she had on her mind. Never before the dark layer of his visor has seemed so hindering for him for he was touched by the desire to see that beautiful skin of hers with his own eyes.

He wondered where he'd seen these nuances before. Perhaps those early spring ladybugs that usually swarmed the forest in April.

"What are you thinking about? You're not angry anymore." Amaya gave out a breathy laugh.

"Ladybugs."

Amaya bit her lip, attempting to stop the laughter from coming out.

"Shino," She sighed, acquiring her serious expression once again. "That they've forgotten to invite you doesn't mean they don't care about you anymore."

Shino raised a brow.

"I thought you didn't believe in such things as friends."

"I want to believe I have just run into the wrong people. Getting to know your friends..." Amaya shrugged. "They're nothing like mine, you know."

"And you're just gonna give up on your conviction?"

Amaya swallowed, eyes dropping down.

"I don't want you to feel the way you did today. It was awful."

What was she aiming for... Shino furrowed as his thoughts flashed through his mind. Was she sincere? And why would she be, they barely knew each other. What disturbed him most was that she knew so much about him when he didn't even get to ask her if she had a family or... why did she come to Konoha on her own. And he hated it but she was so clever. She knew her power over him because her very presence confused him and didn't allow him to think as methodically as he wished to.

That she was warm and soft to the touch didn't help much, too. Something of an insanity was starting to crawl its way through his mind and enfetter it, giving him no peace of mind. Dangerous or not, she was so cheerful that he found himself magnetically attracted to her unceasing joy as if the closeness would somehow brighten his identical days and infinite nights.

But she was nothing like those insects he wanted to possess. She was way too fragile for him to have his will the way he usually did. She wasn't an inferior nor was she a friend in the sense he put that word in. Whatever she was, he had to weigh his every word very carefully because she seemed to get hurt easily. But that didn't mean he would change. Especially if she thought pitying him would work. Pity could work with others, not him.

"I'm not going to that birthday," Shino announced nonchalantly. "Neither am I forgiving them for what they did."

Amaya raised her eyes up to him sharply.

"Shall we go back? It's getting cold, ambassador." He stepped away but she pulled his hand enough to get him looking her way.

She pouted until he decided to transform his sentence in a way that might... or might not work.

"It's getting cold, Amaya."

The frown on her face didn't evaporate but she did murmur a reconciled _Better,_ joining his slow pace.

* * *

 _A/N_ _:_ _Thanks a lot for reading, guys! I thought I'd have two or three people 'till the end haha. Glad so many share my thirst for a ShinoxOC. We'll see how big in number we'll get when I reach the tenth chapter. I hesitate whether to end it there as planned or just add a few things more. Really can't decide._

 _Now, they have always shown Shino as someone who loves his bugs but I don't think that hosting thing_ _(_ _Kishimoto never said anything about_ _)_ _was quite pleasant and pretty great for a little child. I'd leave people to think about it. I see a trauma here, I don't know about you, guys. It's fanfiction's job to fill in the blank spaces in the characters and I sat down and thought a lot about Shino. Come on. How do you get hundreds of insects under your skin without having nightmares for years afterwards?_

 _Anyway, it's my thing to thank everyone that left a review, one by one, just because the reviews people leave are so inspiring and let me know I should not give up on the story. See you next time, to everyone else._

P.S. Sorry for the mistakes. I fixed them. I tend to update at 2 am and miss some things.

* * *

 _ **Imogen,**_ _thanks for the compliment. I'm happy you like the pace because I love doing slow pace + important details combinations. I'd say pay close attention to Amaya, things are really interesting there haha Shino, though... goodness I am too emotional to write Shino, lol. I get really upset with this fic_ _and it was supposed to be cute.  
_ _  
Thanks for dropping another review,_ _ **Kairakiani!**_ _Do you even know how much that means to me? My story has gone through your heart and mind and it's reflected in your sub_ _consciousness. This is all a writer could ask for haha Thanks for sharing._


	5. Perfect

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **V.**

 **\- Perfect -**

He felt Amaya's penetrating gaze digging a hole in him but he couldn't care less, looking down at the book in his hands. For some particular reason, she was emanating a strong feeling of anger but when he used the helpful advantage of having dark glasses over his eyes and afforded to glance up from time to time, she appeared most relaxed. In fact, she drank tea and had a book of her own. Problem was, in half an hour she had turned over two pages. Apparently, her mind wasn't quite focused on reading.

Their positions were positively speaking enough, to a side observer – Shino sat in the only armchair in the spacious living room and Amaya had taken the sofa across him. A short table and a chasm of an untied quarrel separated them. Ever since they returned from the school yesterday, thick silence ensconced between the two but neither opened up a conversation.

The atmosphere was, mildly said, tensed but Shino didn't feel obliged to apologize for his behavior in any way. He was right to feel offended. The reticence in the vast space of the room was once or twice broken, though, with Amaya slamming her empty cup of tea with unnecessary force on the table a while ago or when she shut her book loud enough to startle him, in that very moment. She relaxed her body on the sofa, proceeding to observe a point in the ceiling.

Shino was convinced his book was pretty interesting but pretending that the sight didn't intrigue him more was going to be a lie. Did she do that on purpose? Because if she did, he didn't even mind. She was dressed in blue the whole day, reminding him of the breathtaking nuances the Blue Morpho butterflies usually wore. Until now his eyes always fixed on hers… but for the first time, he allowed himself to wander over her body- Her eyes turned and tried to catch him in the act but he looked back down in time to fool her he hasn't.

What happened with the methodical thinking all of a sudden? She was doing close to nothing. Just carelessly laying there and it was enough to distract him. And she knew _exactly_ what she was doing. Vexation poisoned his thoughts. Even an ambassador, she didn't have any power over him whatsoever. Why did he feel enslaved and bound to her will, then? He never took advantage of his high heritage and never dragged attention to himself because of it. How could she be as insolent and as demanding toward him when she hadn't got the right? It wasn't his fault that she was so damn…

So damn what? He didn't know how to finish the thought so he quickly gave up on it.

With a sigh, Amaya grabbed her cup and stood up, walking away from the room. Shino slowly closed his book and left it aside, gaze following her until she turned right, to the kitchen. It was the late afternoon; the day was slowly crawling to its end. It was as if time itself has stopped and tortured him. Couldn't it be over once and for all? Perhaps if he went to sleep earlier, that'd be possible.

He had dignity and wasn't about to trample on it with changing his mind abruptly. He had never done that before, he never would. He didn't care, even if the whole Land of Fire was against him. It's not like they were going to miss him… they would've if they had invited him in the first place. Shino stood up, the irritation in him so grand that his fists had curled without him even noticing. Wasn't it better to go and remind them of what they have done? He was better than that, though. Always, in his mind, he planned vengeance of the highest rank and always, he couldn't find it in his heart to execute these plans. He was many things but cruel and in the end… Everything ended as it always did. The people around him delighting in the forgetfulness and the insolence time brought them and him, choosing to fold up the next insult with reconcilement, which he thought wiser than rage, and tuck it in another, darker corner of his mind, where it wouldn't hurt him as much.

"Can you leave the door unlocked for me? I'll probably get back late." Amaya's quiet voice dragged his attention and he looked up.

She leaned on the door frame with an indifferent expression on her face. The dress she wore was a plain black polo and knee-length but covered the skin on her hands to the wrists; black chiffon shawl was tied around her neck. She had her hair in a simple, low ponytail but it still looked classy enough, complementing the simple and elegant tone of her attire. Her hands smoothed out her coat while waiting for an answer but Shino just couldn't speak.

"Can you?" She repeated, raising a brow.

His fists slowly loosened and he opened his mouth to speak but to no avail, the faze didn't allow him to think and form words in order.

She was so damn… perfect. That's the word.

Shino made a few slow steps to her but stopped half-way.

He wasn't, though.

Amaya observed him, her indifferent expression now altered into one of pure wonder. She was even more charming like that, within a bubble of wonder and confusion. Her white hands hugged the dark clutch closer to her chest as she slightly narrowed eyes.

"Are you alright?" She pondered.

No. Of course, not. How could he be, torn between the poles of such a choice? She would never know his agony, to be so close and so far. Her brows wrinkled in the cutest manner, her empathy wasn't enough to read his battle to its real depth. She just took a breath and exhaled, instead.

"I'll take that as a _yes,_ then. Thank you." Amaya drawled and turned to leave.

That was one of the things he wasn't going to forgive himself. The great fear was what forced him to move and not miss his chance. He crossed the room and touched her hand so that she could stop and face him again, most surprised by his behavior.

"What is it?" Her expression changed into concern when he kept on with his insistent silence.

"Can I…" He didn't finish, disliking how the sentence sounded out loud. As he previously forestalled, speaking logically whenever she was inches away was not within the range of his possibilities.

"Shino," Amaya chuckled lightly. "I'm late for the birthday. What's wrong?"

A part of him didn't want to do it but another just begged for it. He leaned in and kissed her, his right hand slightly pressing her lower back closer to him. She was astounded by his decision at first but then decided to comply, entwining their tongues. Her fingers just rested on his shoulder when he backed away, letting both of them catch a breath.

Amaya looked up at him, flushed and still confused but a light smile quivered on her glossed lips.

"Just don't say you're sorry about this, too." Her smile widened when she sensed the frustration coming out of him in waves.

"I'm not."

"Glad to hear." She tilted her head, a curious glimmer in her eyes. "Where did that come from, though? I thought you didn't like skin contact. And I thought you were mad at me."

Shino furrowed, trying to find an answer but his mind was completely blank.

"I don't know. "He said quickly. "You are confusing me."

"Am I?" Amaya stood on tiptoes, not in the least affected by his nearly accusatory intonation.

He backed away a tad, terrified of her influence over him. There was an alluring and dangerous spark in that lively, sharp gaze of hers.

"I don't know anything about you." Shino's furrow deepened when Amaya's playful expression was once again switched by a glimpse of a shadow.

"I'll tell you about myself," Amaya paused dramatically, seeing that he caught his breath, listening to her. "if you come with me."

Shino exhaled in exasperation.

"Dirty."

"What?" She exclaimed, laughing. "This is a fair deal."

"You mean bribery." He lowered his voice even more.

"Ok, yes." Amaya shrugged.

He didn't want to go to that birthday but she offered information he was interested in. Apart from that… he still had doubts about her and leaving her to walk around all alone, especially at a party with the Seventh, was not wise. He concluded it's best that he swallows his pride this time and keeps his eye on her. It was easier to say it than do it, though. The struggle was terrible and long.

They stood in silence for quite some time but her eyes pleaded him and he knew he had lost because she smelled like vanilla and tasted like strawberries; her whole entity was imprinted in his mind as colors and noise and light, and he didn't want to be away or apart from it because it was always dark where he stood.

There was this warm feeling she brought and now that he touched her it only became worse because he wanted to feel it again.

"We're late, you know." Amaya reminded. "I even have a present for the Seventh and we can give it together. It's a beautiful pen I bought yesterday."

"They might as well prepare a present for me, too. For going to their party despite their betrayal."

"Shino."

"I'll go get dressed."

* * *

The evening was surprisingly cold. Konoha has had colder days, though, that one was just one of the exceptions. The sharp wind cut through the skin and not the warmest clothing could save one from it. It was drizzling and almost a complete dusk when they left the Aburame Household and headed to the center of the village.

Naruto didn't usually hold parties for his birthday but this year he had changed his mind. Shino suspected Sasuke had something to do with it because he was never around and this time it happened for him to be in Konoha on the date. Naruto probably saw a chance to bring together all of his close childhood friends while they all were in the same place, even for a day or two. And his birthday was just the right occasion to do it.

Shino prepared an authentic foul mood for that party. All the wide smiles sent his way and the casual conversation people were going to attempt having with him, ignorant of the insult he took because of their own impudence. He learned to forgive with time but he wasn't sure if time would help him now. Forgetting to invite him was cruel since he considered himself a friend; an important part of these people's lives. And he considered that for more than a decade. Finding out you're unnecessary and replaceable hurt a lot.

At least he got to leave that dreadful stone prison his father called home. And he got to leave it with the most gracious creature he had ever seen.

The street lanterns colored the way with a muffled, yellow light and the shadows of the few passers-by danced to the relentless blow of the wind. He hadn't the habit to walk Konoha's streets in the evening but he realized there was an urban beauty he had missed to notice before. Perhaps it was just the winter vibe he carried for some weeks now.

"Stop pouting about this." Amaya ceased his thoughts with a playful comment. "I feel like I am walking next to a thunderstorm."

Shino was forced to walk close to her because the umbrella was one and they – two. Amaya was, unlike him and despite the weather, happiness itself; clinging to his arm and smiling at her victory. It was irritating to let her think she won.

"I have no intentions to fake a good mood. I prefer to be myself." Shino replied, matter-of-factly. "And if you think I am going to that party because of the people there or the party itself, which is not even close to what a party to my liking would be, you are mistaking. I only come because I think you're safer with someone else rather than being alone. If I remember correctly, you're not as fond of darkness as I am."

Amaya eyed him with a smile on her face.

"I'm honored to have an escort but I wish it was a tad more…" She hummed. "Cordial."

"I don't know what that means."

"You're the cutest," Amaya concluded, more to herself.

"I am not."

A brief silence settled between them after his remark but the careless way in which she said it brought a heavy inner battle for him. Certainly, she knew it'd have that effect on him but waited for his reaction. Doubt was corroding him, along with curiosity. And something else, too. Was she playing or was she true?

"Am I cute?" He asked, for more clarity.

"Yes, you are." Amaya looked up at him. "Haven't met anyone cuter."

Strange, she seemed true.

* * *

They soon arrived at Naruto's house. There was quiet music coming out from inside when they rang on the door and it wasn't a surprise that needed to do it three times before someone came and finally opened it.

"Shino!" Hinata beamed and stepped to hug him, then his companion. "Amaya. I'm so glad you made it! Come in."

She stepped aside and let them inside, in a hurry to close the door behind.

"We're extremely sorry for being late." Amaya started, while both her and Shino took off their coats because Hinata waited to have them.

"Don't worry. Not everyone's still here anyway." Hinata smiled and hanged their clothes. "Go ahead. My husband should be in the living room."

Shino stood still and silent, eyes fixed somewhere ahead and once Amaya noticed, she exchanged glances with the woman next to her for a second. Hinata withered, the sadness clearly written on her face.

"Shino?" She stepped in front of him.

"What?"

"Both I and Naruto are so sorry for what we did. It wasn't intentional." She started, shakily. "We have fought together and we have protected each other throughout our whole lives. You know you mean a lot to all of us."

"I'm not sure about that anymore."

Hinata's eyes slightly blurred.

"Please, forgive us. I spoke with Naruto this morning and he was so angry that he has forgotten to invite you that he broke a glass. He thinks of you as a friend and he hates himself for betraying your trust like that."

Shino remained silent, looking at her with indifference. Well, perhaps he was wrong to judge Naruto in advance. Naruto wasn't to blame if one considers the millions of things he has to take care of and has to remember. Regardless, Shino couldn't just get over everything so quickly. It was time for him to lie again.

"It's alright."

"Is it?" Hinata lit up, hopeful.

"Yes."

Amaya was furrowing, perhaps reading him better than Hinata, but she said nothing.

"I better go give him the present," Shino announced and nodded at Hinata, leaving the lobby.

Hinata followed him with her eyes, then sighed heavily.

"Is he always like that?" Amaya asked, breaking the awkward situation.

"No… not always." Hinata offered a hand and Amaya took it, smiling. They slowly walked into the living room. "It's just that lately he's become a little… d-different."

"Lately?"

"I don't know. It's like nothing matters to him anymore. I was afraid he was ill but when I thought about it, I realized he just might be lonely. But then you came and I think he's okay now."

"What do you mean?" Amaya chuckled nervously.

Hinata couldn't reply because her husband cut her off, dashing to both of them with immeasurable amounts of joy.

"Welcome, ambassador." He shook her hand vigorously. "What do you think of my home?"

Amaya took the time to observe her surroundings – the spacious living room, the pastel green color of the walls, the perfectly arranged furniture and the view of the sparkling lights of the city through the wide glass across them, one that led to a balcony. There were a dozen people spread across the free space but they didn't hinder her sense of aesthetic.

"It's beautiful." She mouthed absently and Naruto laughed.

"Thanks."

"I'll leave you for now. I have to get the table ready." Hinata met Naruto's gaze and left.

While Amaya sought for Shino her eyes stilled on a couple on the other side of the room. The just stood out, like royals, among the others around them. She couldn't quite tell why. Both of them were so elegant that she couldn't stop looking at them. The man was tall and with truly handsome features and the woman… she was a spring goddess – long, rosy locks fell around her heart-shaped face and light moss eyes complimented the color with divine accuracy.

"Let me present you some of my close friends." Naruto noticed her curiosity and led her to the couple, who was currently speaking with another one near the center of the room. Those two looked not less stunning, too. Naruto broke the conversation and grinned, pointing at his right. "Ino and Sai Yamanaka, this is ambassador Kamizuru Amaya." Amaya nodded lowly. "And these two here are my closest friends and a part of my former team. Sasuke and Sakura Uchiha."

Amaya bowed at the other two but the smile on her face gave her away. Sasuke slightly squinted, noticing her reaction a second before his wife decided to clear up things.

"What is it?" Sakura asked, curious.

"Nothing. I just can't believe I am standing in the presence of the three most powerful shinobi of my generation. Forgive me... It's an honor."

"Oh," Sakura exclaimed, smiling widely. "Thank you… I guess?"

"The fans have no end, ha?" Ino teased and they laughed.

Amaya looked around and saw Shino talking with another man. The man was speaking a tad louder than the rest of the attending but not in an annoying way. There was something amicable about him, despite the strangely looking fang-like tattoos on his face.

"So, what is your business here, ambassador?" Sakura asked and drew her attention back to the group.

"Nothing special." Amaya drawled. "I came here to send my regards and gifts from the Tsuchikage to the Seventh. And invite him to a celebration she desired to hold in Iwa, an expression of her gratitude and friendship."

"Next week, right?" Naruto scratched his head.

"She set the date on the 20th, in fact. Ten days from now."

"I see." Sakura sighed. "I think I will go and help Hinata."She was already looking at Sasuke when she spoke with the softest tone. " _Anata,_ you don't mind me leaving you for a minute, do you?"

Sakura smiled at him and didn't wait for an answer when she walked away but his eyes remained fixed on her until the moment she left the room. Amaya thought it wasn't fair for her to feel people's emotions so clearly, without them knowing, but this time the emanation was just too strong.

The love between those two was a sacrament. Like a powerful seal that joined both of them. But it was so subtle and invisible for the rest of the world that Amaya doubted anyone could reach the depths of that connection and truly understand it. She could only guess what they've gone through. Slight envy stung her when she thought such love was one of a kind; one in a million years, as they said.

Her eyes shifted to another figure. He was alone now. Looking down at the blue sake cup in his hands. She noticed just now that his choice of clothes was giving him away. He had chosen to wear black and looked like he was attending a funeral. Perhaps he didn't have shirts in another color, she thought, but it didn't quite matter because it suited him well. In fact, he was gorgeous in black.

His aura, too, was deafening. He probably didn't realize it but his sadness was immense and devoured everything else in the room. She wasn't sure whether she sensed only that because she wanted to or because it was just too strong. Whenever she tried to dive into that sadness, she feared she'd drown and backed away. Question was, how did _he_ manage to stay on the surface?

He looked up and she knew his eyes were fixed on her, although the dark glasses hid them.

"Is that how you do it? I wonder if the people in Iwa are as weird as us." Naruto turned to her and she turned around, aware that she's missed the last five minutes of the conversation.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you were talking about." Amaya apologized quietly.

"Nevermind!" Naruto beamed, saving the situation right away. "Anyone hungry? Let's go eat."

" _I_ am hungry." Ino puffed.

"Let's go then."

Amaya followed the group and shifted to the dining room where they found Hinata behind the kitchen bar and Boruto with his sister and most of his classmates sitting on the table and eating. Upon the guests' entrance, Hinata laughed.

"I let them eat earlier because they were hungry."

"Mom, don't lie." Boruto intervened. "Everyone knows you want us out of the room because of all the dirty jokes dad and his friends are going to share the whole night. Don't worry, we don't want to hear anyway."

His remark was followed by a group laughter from the adults. Amaya shook her head and quickly found Shino's hand. She dragged him to the table where all the guests headed to once Boruto and his gang left. Shino didn't object but was a little surprised by her demanding behavior.

"I want to thank everyone for coming. It means a lot to me." Naruto stood up when he saw everyone was in their place. "I spent a lot of birthdays alone."

He made a pause, thinking, but Amaya's keen sense caught him falling into a glimpse of melancholy and she knew Shino sensed it, too.

"I have friends now." He smiled, speaking quickly. "And I have a family. In short, people who love me and people that I love. It's all I ever wanted. Thank you for being here, again and enjoy the food."

"Will I be arrested if I say I don't love you?" Sasuke asked in the brief silence and everyone looked at him, shocked, but he was smirking and Naruto just laughed.

"Funny." Shikamaru scoffed dryly.

The dinner began and Amaya was truly fascinated by the delicious food and the people around her but Shino was dead silent and being so close to him allowed her to ascertain he wasn't comfortable at all. Which made her uncomfortable itself.

"My mother always said my father's most prominent characteristic was his jealousy." Amaya leaned to him, speaking quietly. "He almost killed a random man once, she said, because he smiled at me when we were at a restaurant."

Shino looked at her and she chuckled.

"All in all, I have lived with my mother my whole life. My father has died when I still hadn't turned one year and I don't know him; never will." Amaya shrugged.

"Do you wish you had known him?"

"I don't know. Sometimes. But I think it was better that I didn't because if so, I was going to miss him."

Shino sighed.

"I understand."

"Ugh, the sushi is so great." Amaya looked at her dish again and took a bite.

"I don't think I like it." Shino pronounced evenly.

Amaya raised a brow.

"Is that your pickiness speaking or your still wounded ego?" She smirked.

"Not sure."

Amaya was about to take a salad from the center of the table but hesitated. Then she pulled her sleeves up and reached for it, dragging a few pair of eyes, including Shino's. In fact, everyone silenced in astonishment, lips parted in awe.

"What?" Amaya noticed the perplexed looks.

"I don't think we've seen how the skin of an insect user looks like." Sakura gasped.

"Oh." Amaya slowly left the salad in front of her and looked at her hands. A faint inner matrix of hexagonal cells spread across the surface of her skin and weaved a symmetrical pattern. The outlines were brown and it resembled a full-body tattoo. "Sorry." She chuckled nervously. "I only wanted to keep my sleeves from smearing. I have a talent for spotting clothes."

"It's pretty," Hinata spoke out from the other side of the table.

"Is that how every skin of an insect user looks like?" Naruto asked, in his place.

"Uh, no. It's different for every type. Plus, that's developing with age. It will be darker in five years as far as I know. I am a bee user and that's why you can see the beehive my bees have built within me. Aburame's kikaichu are…" Amaya looked at Shino but he was ignoring her eyes as if this way he would escape the situation and evaporate in some way. But Amaya had something else on her mind.

She slightly pulled her chair closer to Shino and unbuttoned the stud on his wrist. Her eyes raised up to his face for a moment before she slowly pulled the matter of the shirt up to his elbow, revealing a chaotic scheme of dark lines that slightly resembled webs but were so mingled that one couldn't trace an order of any kind. The thin film covered with millions of slits was more visible on his skin than it was on hers and didn't appear half as lovely as Amaya's. In fact, it was downright disturbing.

Amaya didn't care that she just destroyed everyone's appetite, it was beauty in her eyes. She knew the horror of having to host insects under her skin. She knew the pain of people's remarks, connected with everything she was. Despite that he appeared perfectly calm and collected, she knew there was simmering anger inside of him now because he didn't want to drag any attention and she fixed it on him nevertheless.

The continuous silence was awkward but Amaya was not finished. They needed to acknowledge his presence fully because he deserved it. Instead of hiding because he was hurting and hurting because he was hiding.

"Do you know why Aburame are a noble clan?" Amaya asked out loud, putting salad in her plate.

"Care to explain?" Surprisingly, it was Sasuke who asked.

"Because of the so-called Parasitic Destruction Insect Technique. In other insect user clans we host insects in our bodies when we become a conscious age. Aburame give their children to hosting when they're very little." Amaya left the salad back in its place. "They lock their children in a dark room full of parasitic insects for hours, every day, until the insects recognize a host in the child's body. And that hurts a lot. But at the time most of us, insect users, are the age in which we begin our hosting they have already mastered a perfect control over their insects."

Shino sharply pulled his sleeve up and stood up, leaving the room.

"I didn't know," Sakura whispered, her sad eyes looking at the door where Shino just left. "He's never told us anything about him and his clan."

"Why would he? It's a horror story." Amaya tried to force a laughter but tears stung her eyes and she barely held them. "Who would want to listen?"

"Amaya," Hinata called her softly but she smiled widely.

"Excuse me." She pulled back her chair and stood up slowly.

Amaya searched for him but he wasn't in the house, not quite. She walked to the glass door and slowly opened it. The chill of the wind sent a shiver down her spine and she enveloped herself with hands. The drizzling had stopped.

She made a few steps and stopped next to him, fixed on the hundreds of buff lights spread in front of them, just like fireflies. The Hokage Rock was brilliantly lit up in the distance and the shadows that fell on the carved faces gave them life. Konoha was nothing like Iwa and Amaya thought her own village not even close in beauty to this one. Iwa was too harsh and inhospitable, with all the stone but Konoha… Konoha was abundant and colorful and modern. She loved it.

"I lied." Amaya sighed. "I _am_ vengeful."

"I haven't asked to be avenged."

"No. That was entirely my decision."

They silenced for a while but Shino soon renewed the conversation.

"You can't drop down so much information at once."

Amaya smirked.

"Yes, I can, sensei."

"Now they must be even more terrified of me than they were before." He noted absently. "That would be my last attending at a social gathering. I expect they'll try to erase me from their lives completely."

"Morbid as always." Amaya chuckled. "At least they'll learn to give you the needed respect."

"I'm still not sure why you're so concerned about that." Shino turned to her.

"I don't know… I…" Amaya stopped for a second, facing him. "Probably wasn't supposed to do that."

Shino stood still but his posture was tensed and she noticed it.

"Let's go in…" She drawled, holding her breath for a moment because he neared and took her cold hands in his. "…side."

"Did I tell you how beautiful you are?" He asked as if it was a crime that he has forgotten.

She squinted.

"No, you didn't."

"Very beautiful."

"Thank you. You, too, aren't bad yourself tonight." Amaya chuckled but her eyes escaped his vigilant gaze and pulled away from him sharply, walking back to the glass door. She had to turn her back on him, to hide the grimace of pain that twisted her features. "Shall we go back to the others?"

There was a long pause. She closed her eyes, feeling his gaze on her back.

"Alright." Shino agreed, at last, and followed her into the house.

 _What have I done?_

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, kind people! Hope you liked this one and hope you don't hate me for the rare updates, I have lots of exams_ _but I have not forgotten about this story because I love Shino too much._ _Decided to change the POV for a while. I don't know why but I can totally imagine Shino being hella cruel and merciless in his mind because he (canonically) remembers people insulting him for years and he's probably rewinding the situations in his mind constantly. But then again his heart is kind and he doesn't hurt anyone, in the end. Also, sorry but I have always loved SasuSaku and I had to have them here. Anyway, the next chapter is a heart-breaking one and I am sorry in advance lol. I'll finally reveal everything around Amaya, brace yourselves._

P.S. Something happened with FF and it didn't upload the chapter. I hope it's okay now?

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 _ **Mister People,**_ _thank you, thank you, thank you for the compliments and thank you for writing a review! I appreciate it. Hope I won't disappoint in the future._

 _ **Imogen,**_ _I wish it was canon, too. *sigh* I hope you like this chapter and… I don't know about making it more than 10, I'll see how it will turn out._

 _ **Bonita321,**_ _thank You for reading and leaving a review! I don't think everyone will like Amaya as much when I publish the next chapter, though. Sorry not sorry._

 _ **S.A,**_ _thank for leaving a review. Your wish came true, I am updating! (after 2 months lol) But anyway, Amaya is kinda hurt of all the remark she's received till now and she feels somehow obliged to respond to those remarks when they are directed toward Shino because he doesn't react at all. That's why she's so angry. Anyway, hope you like the last chapter!_


	6. Enchained

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **VI.**

 **\- Enchained –**

Shino woke up with the insight of a completed analysis and the heaviness that came with it. Naturally, he grew fond of her and naturally, that was the greatest mistake he has ever made. Yesterday, on Naruto's birthday, was when he finally realized how blind he's been this whole time. Blind and foolish. Letting in and close a complete stranger. Fondness was what clouded his view throughout these days but this game had to end.

He got up from his bed and dressed up, determined to know the whole truth, whatever it cost him. It was tiresome, to sit still and observe her play what was obviously a role, while both of them were aware _something_ was clearly not right. At a slow pace, Shino headed for the kitchen and set himself to eat breakfast, despite not having any appetite. Gloom hung over him at the thought of what he might reveal. It was just a sixth sense. A piece of the puzzle that didn't fit. The closer he got to her, the suspicious she became.

Her behavior yesterday was the critical point. She avoided his touch as if it was leprous since the moment he reached for her hands on that balcony. The whole night, she refused to get closer, despite the cordial conversations between them. The drastic change in her, from complying to kiss him to completely denying his close presence, was what snapped him awake. And whatever happened between them, he had to know everything.

Half an hour he spent in the silence. The skies were a metallic grey so he assumed it was going to rain again today. But sunlight beams cracked through the clouds at times. He heard noise from Amaya's room shortly before she got out of it and dashed his way.

"Shino, look at this!" Amaya burst into the kitchen with her wrapper and white slippers on, face beaming once she got to switch the light in the room on. She stretched her hand and sat on the chair next to him, their shoulders touching. There was a small ladybug on her palm. "I found her outside, on the window's sill." With a smile on her face, she carefully took his hand and turned it, allowing the ladybug to crawl to his skin. "Isn't she cute?"

"Strange. Isn't it… too cold for it to be here?" Shino drawled, too distracted by Amaya herself.

Her intrusive touching didn't even bother him anymore. In fact, it sent electrifying bolts through him, which wasn't a good thing either. Cost him way too much concentration and willpower to avert his attention to something else. How was he supposed to face the truth when he adored every bit of her?

Shino looked at her, instead of focusing on the ladybug she took great interest in, remembering her features as they were now. Her morning joy was such a blessing. He was fascinated by it and by all the words she spoke out loud. The way her lips moved when she was excited and the supple motions of her whole body; she had the mystery and the air of a geisha but her eyes were restless. Her eyes… were not true. Her eyes were what gave her away.

It took him a while to see it. Her joy was so perfect that it blinded all of his senses. The line was so thin that he almost missed the fragment of deception. Skillful deceiver, this one. Almost got him this time. The pain that pierced through him threatened to bring him down if he didn't handle it in time so he made his best to handle it.

She was profoundly interested in everything he was and everything he did. It was terribly wrong from the very beginning. Arriving alone in Konoha, knowing so much of Aburame's secrets. Also wrong. Making her best to convince him she understood his problems? And loneliness?

Pathetic.

"Yeah, she must be freezing." Amaya murmured, eyeing the bug on his palm. "I'll leave her here. Your skin is always warm." She looked up at him. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

"It's almost sunny outside, let's go out for a hike. Or a picnic!" Amaya suggested lively, getting closer to him with every word. "Let's go, I don't wanna stay here."

Shino backed away from her but she chuckled, leaning in to touch his lips with hers.

"Come on… I am going to make sandwiches!" She exclaimed, wrapping her hands around him but he was still and silent. "You okay?"

How was he going to let go of her? And why the hell did she think she'd get away with something like that? Underestimation was what drove him absolutely wild. People made the same mistake, endlessly, and thought he didn't care for it.

He took a breath and exhaled as slowly as he could. Didn't help. His anger was already slipping through the cracks. He tried again but to no avail; the urge to raze the house to its foundations was still there.

Amaya furrowed.

"Shino, what's wrong? You are… furious."

"Who sends you and why?" Shino casually pushed her away from him as if she was an intrusive stranger, standing up.

Amaya's irises widened, her breath hitched. Her lips parted but no sounds came out from her mouth. Instead, her eyes quickly filled with tears and in a short time threatened to brim over. Seriously? Did she think tears would save her? The pause extended but all she did was cry silently while Shino waited for an answer. His patience ran low, though.

Her trembling lips attempted to form a sentence.

"The Fourth- "

"Liar. _"_

Her figure shrank, slowly shifting back. Shino wasn't sure if she caught his mood but fear had taken over her entirely; she swallowed down, glancing at the door.

"I hate asking the same questions over and over again but I'll make an exception." He stepped to her again, making her get off the chair and retreat to the counter behind her. "Who sends you and why?"

"There are people who want you and your clan dead," Amaya spoke hoarsely. "A sect who lives for revenge. Descendants of the men and women Aburame killed decades ago." She took a shattered breath. "They took my mother and threatened to kill her if I don't obey. I refused. They nearly killed both of us before I decided to comply."

"Are you even a real ambassador?" Shino asked sharply.

"I am. They used me because they knew the Tsuchikage was sending me in Konoha. It was the perfect time to give me a task. The Celebration…" Amaya's voice was barely heard. "The Tsuchikage has no idea those people planned to assassinate you, your father and every single Aburame that was going to attend. But mostly you… because you are the symbol of Aburame's might."

Shino said nothing in one long moment but Amaya kept crying and breathing heavy.

"And what did they tell you to do? Win my trust?" He looked aside, his heart heavy with dread.

"I'm so sorry." She reached for him but he stepped away.

"Don't you dare."

"Shino, I…" Amaya moaned, her brows wrinkling. "I did something unforgivable. But I had no choice. I still don't. T-they-"

"Did you enjoy it?" Shino kept asking with a clear and cutting voice as if he was interrogating her. "Looking at me like that."

"Like what?" She whispered.

Shino scoffed in disbelief.

 _Like you see worth in me._

He couldn't even bring himself to say it out loud. Why was it so hard?

How disgusting. All of it. Her perfect disguise. Him, falling for a low traitor and forgetting his own dignity. Like he didn't have enough on his shoulders already. He hoped she had at least taken a liking in torturing him with those kind words and soft lips. He wanted the truth and he got it. Now it was time for him to take the measurements of his own mistake.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the kitchen. Then out of the house.

"Shino, where are we going? I am in my nighty- "

"Shut up." He bossed, ignoring all the curious looks the two of them received. Let them watch. No one was going to mock him anymore. "I knew it… I knew it from the start."

"Shino, you're hurting me." Amaya pleaded, trying to free herself from his strong grip but he didn't care. "Please."

"I fell into your trap." He snapped. "You were insolent enough to even defend me in front of my friends."

"I meant that!" Amaya opposed ardently. "I meant everything."

"Sadistic hypocrite." He nailed in place and faced her, his face inches away from hers. "Why didn't you just stab me in my sleep with a kitchen knife? Or you preferred to witness my clan massacred before doing that?"

Tears kept falling from Amaya's reddened eyes but she just looked at him in awe.

"They tortured me and promised to do it again if I don't do what they said." Her free hand rose in an attempt to touch his face and she did, grimacing with pain. "You know I am telling the truth, Shino."

The scene of her shrinking in an expectation of a blow reappeared in his mind and that was why doubt stunned him for a second but then it all passed away, leaving the place to his overflowing wrath.

"Like I'm going to believe you after seeing the convincing act you put for days. I didn't even question you."

"You have to believe me…" She raised her tone once he continued dragging her down the street.

"Believe you?" Shino murmured. "How do I believe in a word of a Kamizuru now that you shared how fond they are of me?"

"I had no choice!"

Before she could object more they entered the fancy building of the Konoha Police Department. Shortly after the Fourth Shinobi War ended, many of the architecture was renewed and strengthened, including the Police Department. It was now spacious and more… modern than before.

"What's going on?" The concerned male voice reached them from behind. It was Kotaro Fuma, the current captain of the Police Force in Konoha. He had met Shino once or twice and but never like this - dragging a woman dressed like that into the Department.

"She conspires against me and my clan. Lock her up." Shino declared, still clenching Amaya by the wrist.

Kotaro was baffled at his cold tone and the extreme accusation.

"You have any proof?"

"She confessed it herself."

There was an awkward silence in which Kotaro was looking at Amaya with a grimace of doubt and pity, as well as disbelief.

"Did you?"

Amaya looked down, closing her tearful eyes for a moment.

"I did."

"We'll have to keep you in custody until we have more information that may prove your innocence. Shino, I'll have to ask you to explain to me the situation in details."

"You have to put her in an isolation cell." Shino intervened. "Insect users can easily escape if placed in an ordinary cell."

Amaya was astonished.

"Shino, why are you doing this to me?"

"I'll put handcuffs on her but I can't put her in a cell like that. We only have such cells in prison." Kotaro slowly pushed her further to a cell in particular, gathering her hands together to put the handcuffs he carried before that.

"Good. Then I'll make sure she doesn't escape myself." Shino snapped, following them.

"I can assure you, the police officers who guard the ones in custody are capable of handling breakouts of all sorts." Kotaro notified and after a long stare at Shino and a glance at Amaya, left their presence.

Another police officer took care she's into the cell and locked the cell with a loud click. She caught the metal bars, her gaze following the officer as he walked away. The bags under her eyes were slightly puffed up and her hair was disheveled. Shino stood on the other side and watched her until she didn't avert her eyes on him.

"And you accuse _me_ of sadism." She mouthed, voice trembling. "Are you happy now? Seeing me with handcuffs and behind bars."

"Matter-of-fact, no. I'd be happy when I get rid of every Kamizuru vermin out there." He pondered. "Perhaps then I can finally find some peace and quiet in my life."

Amaya nodded.

"Very well. Good luck with that." She leaned in, angry and through tears. "Why don't you just end me here and now? I have no future anyway. I'd be happy to die by your hand than fall in theirs again."

"I'll wait for your friends to show up first."

There was a brief pause between them before Amaya smiled with heavy bitterness, leaning back.

"What gave me away?"

"Nobody cares about me that much," Shino replied so quickly and with such ferocity that she startled.

"I care."

"I have a limit, you know." He said, calmly. "I don't know why everyone thinks I'm easy to step on. Let those friends of yours come and face me. Then we'll see who will step on who."

"They will kill me." She tilted her head, a faint smile on her lips. "When they find out I failed my mission and let you know about their plan."

"And should I be concerned?" He retorted, stepping closer to her.

Amaya's eyes were so blurred that she blinked, in an attempt to clear her sight up.

"I know I hurt you." She whispered. "And I know you despise me but I wasn't acting all the time. I do care about you."

Shino remained silent for a while before turning to leave sharply.

"I can take many things but when someone lies to me and does it in my face, I can't show mercy. If they want war, they'll have one."

"I kissed you because I wanted to." Her voice came out hoarse and harassed. "And I don't regret it although it will lead me to my death. That's the truth."

Shino hurried to leave, fed up with her unceasing lies. What now, she tried to impose guilt on him? Now, when she saw she was defeated and brought to her knees? Sly, treacherous snake. He'd rather have her rot in prison for the rest of her days than tell any more lies.

He walked back to his house like a thunderous cloud and slammed the door shut behind him.

It was to be expected. And it was all his fault. For not daring to ask for the truth and not having the guts to face it. For his softened nature, forgiving everyone and swallowing insults. For all his weaknesses that were almost the death of him. His weaknesses… too kind, too polite, too quiet. Those games he had to play for years tired him out.

His father was right all along. He had forgotten who he is and it was time to restore Aburame's power. His power. Who were these people and when was it when they decided they can destroy his clan so easily? There was a well of anger that gushed within him at the very thought of those pitiful shinobi daring to oppose him.

He could crush their bones in an instant. Make them suffer, for as long as he liked.

Once he was told he was a prodigy, a diamond among his coevals, and he didn't believe it. In fact, with Naruto and Sasuke on the stage, no one else ever got any attention. But all that perfecting had to serve a purpose of some kind. It did, during the war but now it was just buried, sunk and fading like a memory… He had the potential to be the very best and he had turned his back on that fact, condemning it a fiction of his mind, all these years.

It shouldn't be this way. Not anymore.

The ringing of his phone snapped him out of his train of thought and he realized he's been leaning his back on the front door all this time. Shino pulled out his phone and looked at the screen for one long moment before picking up.

"Kotaro said to not call you now because you might not be in the mood for conversations but you gotta tell me what's going on, man." Naruto's even voice echoed through the speaker.

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"For instance, why is an ambassador of Iwagakure in custody right now. Wearing the clothing in which she has slept." Naruto spoke carefully. "Or why was Kotaro so concerned about you and your behavior."

"The Celebration of which she babbled a lot was meant to lure in the whole Aburame clan in Iwa where a criminal group is supposed to make an ambush and kill everyone," Shino explained, walking to his kitchen. "I suggest you write a letter to Iwagakure's Tsuchikage and kindly refuse the invitation. It would probably be dangerous for anyone of a higher rank to attend, in fact. Tell her to cancel everything. You'll celebrate your peace treaty another time."

Naruto was silent for a while.

"That sucks, man."

"Anything else you want to know?"

"What is this group, do you know anything about it? 'Cause I can make sure the Tsuchikage would take care and capture whoever is involved."

"All I know is that they are Kamizuru descendants." Shino sat in his chair and leaned back. "Some kids with fanatic beliefs that think Kamizuru needs to be avenged."

"Avenged? What did Aburame do to them?"

Shino smirked.

"Annihilation."

Naruto fell silent again, perplexed by the apparent satisfaction the word was spoken with.

"Shino, are you sure you're alright?" He tried again.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Shino inquired, looking up at the digital clock over his refrigerator. "I was about to do some work. Have some homeworks to check. By the way, your son," He paused. "Is a mathematical genius. I thought it's good for you to know it because I'm positive you are not aware of that fact."

"How did you get all that information about the ambush and all?" Naruto didn't give up on the previous subject.

"Oh, I have my ways." Shino sighed. "You know I used to lead Konoha's Elite Espionage teams at one time. A few things escape my eye."

"Uh huh." Naruto's voice evened. "Not to poke or anything but was there somethin' going on between you two?"

Shino was about to speak but his throat tightened. He wanted to call her names and humiliate her. To make her feel what is like to destroy someone's hope when it's been their only one but it didn't happen. It felt like iron rings were tightening around him and he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. Whatever he did, it was going to hurt him so what was the point?

"Shino? You still there?"

He hung up and left his phone on the table.

Something strange had happened. A change of heart. And he wasn't talking about his infinite rage, he was talking about this affection he bred like a flower only to have it uprooted, extirpated like a useless darnel in the garden of his mind. He was ready to give up everything just to have her in his life, not knowing that she was supposed to be there only to end it.

Affection… As if he needed that kind of a thing. He reconciled with life in the darkness long ago.

Shino stood up and realized the light was still on so he went to the switch and turned it off. That silence again. It was like an old friend… it was the only one who never betrayed or hurt him. The one who could listen to his pain without turning away.

Who knew? Perhaps he wasn't fit for affection in the first place. He spent most of the time of his life convincing himself he's not disgusting, not a freak or a monster but maybe it was all true and the time had come for him to accept that too.

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 _A/N: Thank you very much for reading, loves! I warned you it's gonna be a tough chapter. (And it's a shorter one, too.) My apologies. It will be fine, do not trouble. I even break my own heart while writing. Eh, it has to be done. I know Shino is supposed to be a calm character but let's say his patience has reached its limit in my fic. I kind of experiment because I've always wanted to see him cut loose lol Next chapter will be 50% Shino 50% Amaya. I'll show both sides._

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 _ **Rockgrl4,**_ _thanks for the excitement, dear. Well, now you see Amaya in another light and she's not very mysterious anymore. I am sorry for not being able to write faster, I just can't find the time. But I don't usually abandon stories and I love this one so yeah. I'm glad you like the story that much and hope you'll stay until the end._

 _ **barrrbs,**_ _thank you for the review! I am glad you liked it, I love SasuSaku to the bottom of my heart. I write an AU for them, if you're interested._


	7. What's Right And What's Wrong

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **VII.**

 **\- What's Right And What's Wrong -**

The scribbling of his pen was the loudest noise in the whole classroom and oh, how much he liked it.

He _loved_ it, in fact.

A brief, suppressed coughing ceased the silence in which he was currently basking in and he sharply looked up to trace the source.

"Who was it?"

Shino stood up and scanned the class. All breaths were abated, not one of his students made a move. That cough wasn't authentic and that was the exact reason his anger was sparkled. He promised himself to purge every form of insolence that existed in his life, starting with his overindulged and spoiled students.

Continuous thick silence followed his question but he was in the mood to play their game anyway. They were surely aware he won in every possible scenario.

"If you don't tell me who coughed I'll keep you an hour more after the end of the class," Shino explained to them calmly. "All of you."

Still with lowered heads, Sarada and Chouchou exchanged looks but Shino noticed it and took a deep breath before walking up to where the two of them sat. Sarada was slightly furrowing when he approached, uneasiness all over her features.

"Uchiha." Shino leaned in and Sarada backed away, hands squeezing the pen in both her hands. The pause extended while he peered at her and everyone waited… for something to happen.

"I was the one who coughed, sensei," Boruto spoke out. "It was me."

"Of course it was you. I could hear that uneven pulse of your heart from miles. If you think you can cheat while I'm still in the room, you're dead wrong." Shino murmured, still fixed on Sarada. "But she… has something on her mind. Something I don't like."

Sarada's furrow deepened but tiny drops of sweat appeared on her forehead, her body pasted to the back of her chair. Shino dragged the pen from her hands with the slowest movement and proceeded to crush it in two, leaving the parts on her desk.

"You'll stay here with Boruto an additional hour." Shino finally stepped away from her and returned to his desk.

"But I haven't done anything, Aburame-sensei." Sarada declared evenly.

"You were thinking of doing something, didn't you?"

Sarada's lips parted in surprise and she started to speak but was at a loss for words.

"I know what you're thinking." Shino relaxed in his chair, taking his own pen once again. _"What kind of a monster is he?"_

"I haven't- "

"Oh, you did. You all did, at some point. It's a specific type of scent… a vibe." Shino paused, thoughtful. "It's almost like music to me. And trust me, I know it when I hear it."

Music, indeed. Notes that weaved his own requiem. Each person was going through that emotion differently and yet it was the same to his perception. Strong and bitter and generally unpleasant. It resembled the negative energy people gave out when they were angry or hurt but that was just plain mixture of fear and disgust. Sarada was incredible at hiding emotions, something he assumed she had derived from her father, but no feeling could be truly hidden from him. Not with his sensory system.

He wasn't a mind reader but he could tell Sarada was especially revolted from him since the beginning of the class.

"It's not fair." Sarada pouted.

"Take it as a lesson for today, then." Shino looked up at her. "Life's not fair."

Sarada raised a brow but said nothing until the rest of the day. That was, matter-of-fact, one of the quietest days he's had since he became a teacher. Perfect discipline. It wasn't that hard, was it? He could get used to that.

After Boruto and Sarada finally left he decided it was a good time to go visit his father. It's been a week since he last saw him. Mentioning the Kamizuru problem, however, was still in question. Shino was convinced he'd like to know everything concerning the clan but the information could bring him unnecessary stress. He made his way to the hospital at a slow pace, giving himself time to think on the matter. Still, by the time he arrived he hadn't made the decision and had no clear view on the subject.

It was a cold day, thick clouds hung over the city and promised a rainfall in the late afternoon. It would be too bad if it rained because he planned to go for a walk in the late hours.

Almost immediately after he entered the building, he stumbled across Sakura. She was in her white overall and wearing an atypical for her emotionless expression. Perhaps she forced herself to remain professional while at work and left the cordial aura for the time when she's outside the hospital.

She noticed him right away and her serious physiognomy was slightly lit up, her hand brushing his arm in a warm gesture.

"Shino, nice to see you here."

"Sakura." Shino greeted with a nod and she smiled at him. "How is my father doing?"

"Ah, yeah. Your father is doing very well." She emphasized the last two words but Shino didn't quite like the tone.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Sakura raised her hands, laughing nervously. "I just think he's… uh," She paused, staring at him while struggling to find the right words. "A little upset."

Shino furrowed.

"I mean, I think so… He's hard to read." Sakura shrugged. "And he's been like that since you came the last time. It would be nice if you… clear things up. You're, uh… here anyway."

"I see. You think it's my fault he's acting like this?"

Sakura opened her mouth but closed it again, wrinkling.

"I haven't said that. I'm saying that his condition is tightly connected with his mentality. It's what makes your clan so hard to heal." Sakura slowed down her words. "If he's upset his health worsens too. That's not something new to me because the relation is widespread with people but it's nowhere and never as strong as it is with your clan." She sighed, scanning him from head to toe. "Physical and mental condition are tightly bound there. Insect users have a… specific nervous system."

Shino looked down.

"Sorry. I'll just… speak with him."

"He loves you very much, you know." Sakura gave him a half-smile that quickly transformed into a grimace of concern when Shino walked away without replying.

 _Love?_

What love?

That time when he spent weeks alone at home while his father was on missions or that time when his father explained to him why any type of celebration was forbidden in the Aburame Household on holidays because his mother wasn't with them anymore. Or perhaps that time when he sought help from him with any of the techniques that could get him killed but his father sent him away with an assurance that he'll be fine. Because he's strong enough.

He _was_ strong enough but the price for that strength was not paid willingly.

"Father," Shino called him on his way in, closing the door behind.

Shibi turned his way sharply and his brows furrowed.

"What's happened, Shino?"

Shino was fazed for a moment, forgetting that whatever their relationship has been throughout the years, his father still saw through him like nobody else. That or the anger that deafened everything inside of him. It was probably pretty obvious for an insect user.

"Nothing." Shino sat on the chair in front of the bed and fixed his attention on Shibi. "Nothing's happened."

"I've raised a bad liar. I still don't know how to feel about it." Shibi announced. "Tell me what's going on."

Shino stood still for a while and looked at him. Maybe he needed to know, after all. He had the right to know everything that concerned Aburame. It would be treason to keep a massacre plot like the one that's been planned for Aburame a secret from him. He owed him that much. And… he still was the clan's leader after all.

"That ambassador I mentioned to you." Shino took a breath and paused but his father waited for him to finish without moving a single nerve. "She was supposed to fool us into a… trap."

"What do you mean?"

"There was a Celebration the Seventh was supposed to attend in Iwagakure. Aburame were invited too, as special guests. There are certain Kamizuru descendants that wanted to see our clan's end once we got there but I did not let that happen." Shino paused again. "The Celebration is canceled."

Shibi remained silent, thinking over Shino's words.

"Where is this ambassador now?"

"In custody for three days now. I made sure she's handcuffed myself."

"Did you love her?" Shibi asked all of a sudden, and Shino looked up to him in pure bewilderment.

"How-"

"Did you?"

Shino made sure that even his intonation was perfectly flat. How was it even possible for him to assume anything like that?

"No."

Shibi heaved a heavy sigh.

"A tremendously bad liar, Shino. What, you thought I wouldn't notice? You still think that I've got a body of stone and I don't feel anything?"

Shino stood up, preparing to leave as he took a few steps to the door. Another subject he did not want to discuss. His father was always hitting the nail on the head with subjects, didn't he?

"You are a bleeding wound." Shibi's low voice echoed with a distinctive emphasis in the prolonged silence, stopping his son from leaving.

Shino took a breath and exhaled slowly, shutting eyes behind his dark glasses.

"I don't know what to do." He returned to the chair abruptly and faced his father, his voice never as grim. "I don't know what to do, father. Help me."

To Shino's great surprise, a faint smile appeared on Shibi's face.

"Why are you smiling?" Shino frowned at him. "I am in agony and you find it funny. Typical."

"You are quite amusing," Shibi said in a completely even voice. "Make up your mind."

"She insulted me and my clan. Forgiveness is not an option." Shino stood up again, this time leaning his hands on the bed. "If those bastards come and claim her life, I will not…" He cut off his sentence, convinced that he wouldn't be able to finish it.

"You will not what?" Shibi continued, calmly.

"Falter. I will not falter. She is a liar and a traitor and deserves to die."

"Keep it up." Shibi smiled again.

"It's not funny." Shino heard his own voice slowly breaking under the pressure. "You know what, I'm getting out of here. Why did I even bother to come in the first place?"

He did not wait for his father to respond, dashing out of the room and in the corridor. Smiling. He was _smiling._ How cruel was that? Weren't people around tired of laughing at him?

He got out of the Hospital but nailed in place. Going back to that house was going to end him. Right now nothing could appease the bitterness that raised inside of him. The noise of the outside world was a torture, the silence of his home too. The only one he thought able to help him let him down again.

He slowly started walking, without an aim, winning the curious looks of the people around him.

It's been three days and he still couldn't escape the laughter that rang out in his mind. The sound was distant but clear and carved him up, and all he did was hold his head and press his hands against his ears, hoping to mute the source of his nagging pain but it kept coming, haunting him.

And he kept convincing himself that he could do it. He could endure all of it, he just had to wait until it stopped hurting him like he did with all the other things. A voice inside of him was saying something else, though. It whispered to him, relentlessly, prophesying a downfall. Bleeding out. An inevitable defeat.

 _You can't do it,_ it said. _You can't do it without her._

* * *

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair of him to completely shut her out like that. If only he had believed her none of this would have happened. Perhaps they could even find a peaceful solution to everything. But deep down, she knew peace wasn't possible between Kamizuru and Aburame. Kamizuru were not going stop that madness, whatever happened. And Aburame… she was afraid that they were way stronger than the rumors said.

What did she even do? She was never supposed to become attached. Her mission was clear… she came to Konoha without a doubt, filled with determination. It was all a nightmare, in the beginning, the physical harassment, then the mental one, the ultimatum. She chose to obey, for the sake of her mother and her own, but still aware that her deeds weren't righteous. But back then she didn't care what they'd want her to do, as long as they didn't hurt her or her mother anymore.

It became harder and harder with every second in his presence. She expected the picture those people painted her, she expected Aburame to be the morose, cold-hearted murderers Kamizuru spent hours upon hours portraying and engraving into her mind. Never actually getting the chance to know a member of the clan, in particular, she believed these words to be the truth and accepted them as such.

But Shino… Shino was nothing like what she prepared to meet. Shino was versatile and complicated but in an interesting way. He didn't even matter as a presence to the ones who surrounded him but to her, he was the closest to excellence she had ever imagined. The excellence in the balance of emotion and logic in him astounded her. She never thought it's possible for someone to master those two to that extent but he did it flawlessly and no one even noticed that.

And then the pain. That constant pain that gnawed at him, the one that he had grown used to, nearly brought her down the first time she got in touch with it. She gradually became used to it but felt herself falling for it. An unfamiliar desire began to shape inside of her, a desire to alleviate that burden of his, being one that he was capable of letting in but her conscience did not let her sleep peacefully in the nights. Being so far and away from her captors, the threat didn't hang over her as before and it was easy to forget her purpose in that city, in that household.

Goodness, it was so easy… because Shino Aburame was all she adored in this world in one person. Shino Aburame was the right amount of awkward and antisocial she needed to have in her life. It was especially intriguing when those two were blinded and instantly faded away, to reveal a belligerent nature. One that fit him as well as the pacifistic one he was apparently preferring most of the time.

She loved both, she loved everything about him and it hurt like hell to realize she betrayed his trust. If only there was a way for her to make him forgive her and understand her lack of choice in the matter, then she could reconcile with whatever. Her faith was unknown for now, though. At least there wasn't a law against tears yet.

"Hey." A youthful male voice startled her and she raised her reddened eyes, fixing on the figure kneeling on the other side of the cell. It was a young policeman, probably her age and was currently handing her a small cup through the bars. "Have this."

Amaya stood with her hands still enveloping her legs, sitting on the ground; her back against the stone wall. The gesture was most surprising for her and both of them spent a minute of staring at each other.

"Take it." The policeman left the cup on the floor. "I'm sure you're thirsty… after crying so much."

Amaya wiped the tears from her eyes and forced a smile at the man.

"Thank you." She took the cup and held it in her hands. "Very kind of you."

"Not a problem." He shrugged and slowly stood up.

"Didn't they tell you to treat me like a prisoner?" Amaya asked, underlining the irony.

"Between you and me, I heard the whole story from the boss." The man leaned in, careful not to be heard. "I believe you."

"That won't save me." She smiled at him and sipped from the water. "Nothing can save me."

"Don't say that. There must be a way to prove your innocence."

"Hey, stop talking with the girl!" Another male voice reached them from the other side of the room and the police officer furrowed. "That your shift's almost over doesn't mean you can talk with prisoners."

"Yeah, alright…" The officer sighed and looked at Amaya. "You're going to be fine, don't worry."

A blood-chilling scream pierced the momentary silence and then was followed by the sound of furniture breaking. The officer ran away from her cell at once, searching for the source of those sounds. Amaya stood up and tried to peek behind the bars. She could see nothing from that angle but the yelling and the noise increased, as well as her heartbeat.

It's been only three days… could it be that they were already here? In Konoha?

She backed away and shrunk in the corner of her cell. That chakra… those scents, they were familiar. They must've knows the plan has failed somehow. Perhaps The Seventh has told the Tsuchikage to cancel everything. Likely. Loud screaming pierced on top of the other noise and chills ran down her spine. Were they going to kill her now?

"Where is the girl?" It was Jibachi, she recognized his voice right away.

A brief silence followed, then a strange sound of cracking… and another scream.

"The cell at the left corner… down the corridor." The wheezy reply came soon after.

Slow footsteps neared her cell and she was met by two pairs of cold eyes. The brother and sister she knew from soon – Jibachi and Suzumebachi – stood still for a while and looked down at her shrunk form. Amaya had abated her breath, unsure what to expect. The siblings exchanged glances and Suzume nodded approvingly. Amaya stood up, ready to fight back, despite that she knew those two combined were practically invincible and she had no chance of winning.

Jibachi raised his hand and a second later a concussion shook the ground. Amaya shut her eyed within the second the tiny explosions occurred and completely destroyed the whole front of the cell. Bomb Bee Technique. But the bees soon zeroed on her and she hurried to raise a shield of her own before they hurt her. The attack was brief, it ceased abruptly when Amaya noticed Suzume touching her brother's shoulder.

"Wait. She knows lots about that Aburame scum. Might be of use to know our enemy's weaknesses before dashing into battle."

"I don't need her to crush him." Jibachi spouted. "He's no match for me."

"Still." Suzume insisted. "You can kill her later."

Jibachi scoffed, stepping away from the pile of metal and concrete that now covered the floor between them.

"Fine. Take her to our rally point. I'll go gather the rest and we're going."

Now?

Amaya followed him with her eyes, feeling her stomach tied in a knot. It was positively around midnight and whatever they have planned to do, it wasn't going to be good. Only if she had a way to warn Aburame in some way…

"Move." Suzume gestured her to move and Amaya obeyed, walking in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Amaya asked.

"The time has come to restore our clan's glory." Suzume pushed her from the back, inciting her to walk faster and ignore the knocked out officers on the way out. "We will strike on Aburame and end them once and for all."

Amaya was worried about her tone. Just how many Kamizuru have they gathered for that cause? Why was she so confident that they could dominate? She felt like crying at the thought of the whole mess she brought with her presence in Konoha. How many were Kamizuru going to slaughter before they were satisfied? And Aburame? Were they even prepared to wage war?

It was a starless night outside, when she left the Police Department and was dragged through the narrowest and dark alleys until she and Suzume didn't stop at the end of one, where a group of shinobi awaited. Amaya couldn't tell where they were, exactly, but one thing was for sure – she was freezing to the marrow of her bones. Nobody seemed to care that she was in her nighty and wrapper throughout the time.

"Is that her?" A hooded man inquired, in a hostile tone.

"It is."

Suzume pushed her down next to the concrete wall and Amaya fell on her knees. She wondered how much time she had left and whether she could stop the conflict in some way. If no one stopped it, it could lead to fatal consequences.

"Don't try anything funny." Suzume addressed her. "If you try to send a messenger bug or anything of the sort to anyone, we'll kill you. Am I clear?"

"Yes." Amaya shrunk again, dread filling her up at the thought of her helplessness.

She did not hate Kamizuru because she was a part of their clan and didn't want to see it extinct but she didn't hate Aburame either. No Aburame has hurt her personally to the extent of her wanting a death sentence for them. She hated neither but now either hated her.

"My brother must be on the other side with the others by now. Are we ready?" Suzume asked in a low-voice.

All of the attending confirmed but chills ran down Amaya's spine when she noticed there were vents instead of windows on the walls around her. It was the Aburame District.

"You know what to do. Don't leave hostages." Suzume ordered. "Leave Shino and his father to me and Jibachi. And _you…_ will stay here."

Before Amaya could notice she found herself tied in something viscous and thick. Bee wax.

"If you move an inch, it will tighten and suffocate you. Tell me where Shino lives."

Amaya's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head but the wax sunk into her skin and it became hard for her to breathe. She called her bees to help but that wax was skin-tight and didn't allow her to perform any technique. It slowly killed her.

 _Oh, Shino… forgive me._

"East." She whispered, at last. "The big house next to the forest."

The wax loosened a tad, enough for her to breathe freely but it was still her prison. Suzume locked her cold gaze with hers for a second before dashing in the darkness around the corner, followed by the group of shinobi.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading! Now, no one says what's happened with Jibachi and Suzumebachi in the anime after they fail to avenge Kamizuru and destroy Aburame and they're presumed dead but I decided to give them a part in my fic and twist the plot like that, as if they've decided to strike again, ten years later. Anyway, this chapter is kinda sad but yeah. I have sadder one ahead, don't worry. Lol, I'm such a sadist._

* * *

 _I'm here,_ _ **barrrbs!**_ _I just can't update like normal people and it takes a lot for me to do it. Not to mention university doesn't leave me alone. Sorry but hope you're not very angry about it._

 _Thanks,_ _ **Bonita321,**_ _for reviewing again! I hope I didn't break your heart too much because I'm not done with breaking it. Sorry, haha._

 _Yes,_ _ **Kairikiani!**_ _I so glad someone understands that those things are the real nightmare for an introvert! Yes. And thank you for the compliment! I love writing rage, actually, haha… Shino is instantly becoming hella attractive in my head when he's angry. Is that just me?_


	8. Pandemonium

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **VIII.**

 **\- Pandemonium -**

His blood was thick with anger.

Wrath flowed through his veins like never before, so obsessing and so overwhelming that he lost himself in the pump, the gallop of the ever-increasing but somewhat unfamiliar feeling. He wasn't calm and it was a brand new experience for him. It made him feel different. Like he could destroy something and enjoy it afterward, without the regret, the worry, the doubt.

His sight was clear and his thoughts in a perfect order. A bittersweet ache lingered at the base of all this; some basic, vile joy that he's never let himself feel. He couldn't quite describe it but it was something like a barrier of iron and stone that he broke, freeing himself of the many chains he never knew brought him down. He could swear to all the gods that he's never been so… exalted in all his years. The world was asleep but he had somehow awakened and it was perfect. As if he's now what he's always had to be.

He caught a strong, pinching, unpleasant scent and his head turned sharply in the darkness of his living room. His hands, previously resting on the armchair's elbow-rests now curled into fists; small cracking sounds echoing in the heavy silence.

War… war… war… the word repeated in his head as a mantra, a duty call, setting his thoughts in the convenient tonality and the suiting mindset for what he was about to do; letting it consume him so that he becomes one with it for they… have come.

He stood up and walked to the front door at a slow pace, his posture morphing into a slightly tensed, predatory one. And his bugs quivered inside of him, he could feel the fuse of his own charka ready to flare into every element he could wish upon. Whatever he wished. Power… so much power and he subsided it for so many years, letting everyone take him for granted. Who knew a drop of hatred could turn the tables like that? He was born anew.

The moment he pulled the door open and a squadron of bugs flashed his way at lightning speed, with the intent to drive and cut into his flesh, his own bugs automatically created a husk on his very skin that protected him. He wasn't bothered by the various ways those bees tried to harm him. At all. Such petty techniques were of no use on him.

Two figures stood not far from him, seemingly on the way to his house but pleasantly surprised by the fact that its owner had found his way out without them bothering to pull him out forcibly.

The clouds had scattered a tad, revealing a crescent moon that turned everything it touched silver and white. Surprisingly, there wasn't anyone else on that wide alleyway that separated the set of houses from his. The man and the woman were the only ones standing in the midnight light, glaring daggers at him. Well, that was kind of pathetic. Only two?

Another wave of bees attacked him, this time carrying miniature bombs that took got him a tad more bothered than a second before. He had to put some chakra to deflect those… the noise changed as the woman ran to a different angle, catching his attention. Her bees were a different, stronger kind.

Shino let his bugs protect him as he changed his position too, keeping an eye on the woman. She attacked him with various unknown to him techniques… all of them quite average, if had to be honest. It was a bit disappointing.

"Why won't he fight us back?" He heard a quiet echo of the angry whisper of the man. Then the roar: "Fight us, you bastard. What are you waiting for?"

Shino didn't care to reply, curious about what they had to show. Some of the techniques really intrigued him. At one point a slight stinging in his shoulder and his leg let him know his defense has been breached. Wow. Impressive. It was too bad they ruined his black shirt. He loved that one.

A sigh escaped his lips.

Was that all?

"Jibachi. Now!" The woman yelled, pointing at Shino.

A storm of millions of insects formed a mass that headed his way, shooting violet needles of poison in the process. They caught fire, hissing with an incredible speed. Shino tried moving but has realized that the man's technique made sure there was an exploding wax holding him to the ground, from the waist down.

No use, Shino thought. No use. His kikaichū obeyed him right away, creating a barrier that stopped the cartridges while other ate through the wax, freeing him. Twenty minutes of techniques and they only managed to graze him a bit. And take a little of his chakra.

"Is that how you restore your clan's glory?" Shino asked, in resting amusement, bending on one knee to touch the ground. Immediately a web of glowing white lines spread from his palm and gradually increased its size. "Pitiful."

Jibachi exchanged glances with Suzume, both still breathing in snatches from their last combined technique. Clearly, they haven't anticipated that he'll be so… unbreakable.

"Go check the house," Suzume ordered but before Jibachi could even make a step Shino raised his hand to stop him.

"My father's not in there. Don't bother. Unless you want me to knock you down unconscious before you've seen the best part."

"Shut up." Jibachi eyed the pulsing glow of the enormous web currently taking a frighteningly large area. "What the hell is this? Street art?"

"One way to put it." Shino grew pensive, brows furrowing. It really was artful, as he thought about it.

Thirty seconds, a minute… Jibachi and Suzume started attacking him again in the next few minutes he was forced to parry those attacks, as much as he didn't like it. They barely touched him, though. As for the Aburame clan… he knew they sensed a foreign presence because many clansmen and other Konoha citizen started gathering around, but at a safe distance, giving the fact that the alley was wide enough to fit hundreds.

There was this sudden noise, a deafening buzz that fazed the brother and the sister out of their battle-like state. All of the attending looked up in confusion, in an attempt to discern the source of that unusual racket.

"What's goin' on?" Suzume stepped back, her back touching her brother's in a ready-to-fight-again position. "Never seen an Insect Gathering like this one before."

"This huge amount of chakra…and why does it feel like it's familiar?" Jibachi murmured, looking at Shino askance.

"Because it is familiar," Shino explained, in his most calm and teaching tone. "These are the bees of all your… friends."

Jibachi and Suzume waned, looking at each other again. This time there was utter confusion in their eyes.

"What the hell do you mean?"

"It means it's _my_ turn."

The cloud of darkness gathered from all sides into one massive element that hovered menacingly above their heads and shut out the only light, the moon, leaving them all in a complete dusk for a small fragment of time before starting to swirl in a big, wide spiral over their heads.

Everyone's breath was abated, eyes up and down, expecting some development of the three-sided battle but Shino just stood still and silent, as if waiting for something.

The black spindle formation that soared over him circled in calm but intimidating motions, waiting for a signal.

Another minute passed, then another. Jibachi and his sister were frozen in their places, unable to make a decision. Attacking again was a humorous choice, giving the fact that Shino was standing across them, his chin slightly up, with some kind of a self-relient aura and the ghost of a smile that rested on his bold expression now twisted it all into a nightmare. No one dared breathe or move, in fear that it might spark the divine anger that visibly coiled inside him. He wielded a scourge and no one seemed to be brave enough to oppose.

The prolonged silence was broken by the shallow breathing and the approaching steps of new faces. Faces of outlanders, intruders. Men and women, almost three dozens, gathered where Jibachi and Suzume stood, faces pale and harassed.

No words were spoken, the horror in their eyes speaking enough.

"Finally." Shino raised his hand leisurely and the siblings fell on their knees, gasping and writhing at the sudden change. "I'd love to extract _all_ of your insects… because I don't want to be bothered later." He spoke plainly as the last the last bees left their user's bodies and joined the frightening colony.

"How does he do that?" Jibachi grinded his teeth, looking at his sister.

"My insects wouldn't listen to me, either." Suzume scowled, breathing heavily. "I don't know what he's up to but we are not giving up now. We're twenty-eight and he's alone, dammit. That he controls our insects doesn't mean we're weaker now." She paused, then turned to the whole group. "Earth, Wind, whatever you can think of. Now."

The signs that formed among the Kamizuru were various and different but Shino's lips moved in a silent _Summoning…_ before the techniques could reach him. The ground cracked open and shattered as the air howled against him in whirls, headlong, sharp and deadly but he was quick to find a solution. Darkness lidded the moonlight once again, a splatter of giant wings stopping whatever air technique was making its way to him. It was such a long time since he last summoned him.

Lord Achemon. What a magnificent creature. It was from a regal moth species that were controlled by Aburame for generations and its powers were many… but Shino didn't think he'd let a creature do the things he wanted to do himself. Nevertheless, Achemon saved him from the vigorous unison Earth and Wind Techniques and flew up, rising to an unreachable for the techniques height.

"Shino-sama." He greeted, his wide, colorful pinions flapping gracefully in the air.

"Achemon. Sorry to bother you but I've got some parasites I need to crush tonight." Shino let out a deep sigh, looking down on the, now pretty condensed, group of ant-like shinobi on the ground.

"What have they done to your composure?" Achemon inquired in a slow, antique voice. "Or did the years change you? You are not… the same."

"Descend," Shino ordered dryly, ignoring the words of wisdom that usually came from creatures as old as the one he was currently flying on. It was inevitable.

"I have served Aburame for many years." Achemon dived elegantly. "You are consumed by things you cannot control."

"Thanks for the lecture. You are here to obey me, aren't you?" Shino furrowed as the wind began to hiss in his ears.

"Yes, Shino-sama," Achemon replied, with a small delay Shino didn't fail to notice.

Achemon was a righteous, caring creature. But right now his opinions didn't matter in the least. Achemon would never be able to feel what Shino had, he would never be able to understand all the reasons that led to his decisions. All the things that he was _sick_ of hearing.

The buzzing spirals of insects flew up and everywhere in hysterical, non-symmetrical nebulas, electrified with their possessor's chaotic acrimony. The blood was seething through him, heat of anger washing over him in waves.

He promised to crush bones. Promised to make them suffer. The way he did. Nothing in the world he wanted more at the moment. To avenge his countless hours of painful emptiness and crushing guilt. Because he was guilty of his own misforture, of his own misery. Guilty for not taking the power that he held and exercising it, by right. Guilty for not standing up and claiming whatever belonged to him. And those people… some rural nonentities with their little circus tricks and their big mouths dared come and claim that they're more than specks of dust under his feet. Disrespect, underestimation, insolence.

Kamizuru… _Kamizuru._ The very name was like poison to his mind. The shadowy cloud that served his will molded into one again and charged to the shinobi at lightning speed, each insect as the living cartridge he wished it to be.

"Alight on the ground." He spoke grimly. "I want to watch."

Achemon plummeted and touched the ground, landing with a few smooth swings of his wings but the majority of viewers were now focused on the quickly dispersing Kamizuru. They ran out of options, it seems.

Shino scoffed, waving his hand again.

"Where do they think they're going?" The mocking question was addressed to Achemon but the latter chose to remain silent.

The insects hunted down every single shinobi and stratified, gluing on each body and lifting it up so that no one could escape anymore. That's when the shrill screaming began. Kamizuru drowned in agony, a minute after minute, as the insects sucked out their charka and started gnawing at their flesh, slowly and painfully. But amidst the resounding anguish, in which Shino was currently basking in up from Achemon's majestic form, nearing steps reached his developed hearing and he searched the… well, well, that was quite the crowd that was gathered around.

He hoped they enjoyed themselves as much as he did, although they all seemed a bit pale and ghastly and quiet, citizen and his own clansmen among them, standing there without moving or cheering or… whatever crowds did. Shame, he could've used some cheering. He guessed they weren't used to seeing him so powerful. It was never too late to get them used to it.

" _This is madness…"_ He managed to hear a whisper of a voice he knew. Sakura?

" _Those shrieks… what is happening?"_

Eyes finally fixing on the newcomers in the far end of the strangely apathetic assembly, Shino saw Naruto with some other familiar faces bursting through the wall of people only to freeze at the scenery, mouths dropping open and irises widening in awe. Of course, what else? Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru. And… all of his insides spasmed as if struck by a bolt of electricity.

"Shino, stop this!" Amaya screamed in horror, her feet dragging her his way but Naruto grabbed and pulled her behind him. She looked at Naruto whose gaze was currently strictly up on Shino, his brows furrowed in simmering disapproval. "What is he doing?"

"Annihilation." Naruto mouthed absently. "I didn't know he had a way to control _all_ insects. I had no idea he had improved that much."

"If we don't do anything about this situation, all of the Kamizuru will die." Shikamaru reminded from behind. "Soon."

"I've never seen him that angry." Sakura exchanged looks of concern with Naruto.

"Shino, please…" Amaya shouted out in despair, successfully riveting his attention on her.

Please?

 _Please, what?_

It wasn't that he didn't look at her until now, just that he hasn't realized the quantity of detestation he held for her. She was the very reason for his downfall. She was the drop that was needed to brim his cup of patience. She humiliated him in the worst possible ways and had the nerve to come back and speak to him in that direct manner.

He wanted her down on her knees, begging for mercy.

The screaming stopped abruptly as the black mass left Kamizuru alone and gathered in a new oval formation, and without a warning headed straight to Amaya, firing with the speed of a bullet wave.

"Naruto, don't fight them, there are too many civilians around us!" Sakura she went to him and caught his arm, reminding him in time to smother the Rasengan that was arising upon his palm.

Shikamaru was the one that raised a thick shield of shadow to protect them from the surge of destructive projectiles. The two substances met in a violent, frantic clash of deafening noise and fierceness. Shikamaru extended and strengthened the shield as much as he could but his friends knew that it wouldn't last long because his techniques have always revolved more around the offensive. The attack continued mercilessly, though, and Naruto was forced to replace Shikamaru with a new protective layer from his tailed-beast chakra.

" _My Gods…_ " Sakura gasped. "He had absorbed charka from almost thirty people at once. Naruto, you will be exhausted before he's even done with a fifth of his current amount."

"But all shinobi have a limit of their chakra, don't they?" Amaya asked, voice trembling. "How…" She didn't finish, swallowing, her gaze up to scan the enormous black clot that tried to pierce its way through the shield and hunt her down. The same shield that seemed to… crack?

"I believe he stores the charka in the very insects." Shikamaru breathed out. "They're completely separated from him right now and yet listen to his orders. Thanks to the advanced Insect Gathering."

"Shino, what the actual hell are you doing?!" Naruto growled at him. "We are your friends, dumbass! Quit it!"

Shino thought a bit before speaking, observing the scene with unnatural imperturbability. "I have wasted my time trying to win your favor and your affection and fragments of your attention as if I'm some peasant. As if I'm below you. Truth is you are the ones below me." He made a pause. "Fight me… Seventh."

"He's gone mad." Naruto snapped in a low voice. "I've never thought him any less than myself or anyone for that matter and he knows it… He's being a total jerk right now."

"Naruto…" Sakura wrinkling in anticipation. "Your shield is not going to hold for long."

"What do you suggest, then?" Naruto fumed. "I can't really use anything 'cause we can't afford… collateral damage."

"I can strike at him without hurting anyone only if I get face to face with him," Sakura suggested.

"Uh…" Shikamaru coughed. "Achemon?"

"Yeah." She moaned. "Bad idea."

The shield kept cracking up while they spoke but as much as the conversation progressed they didn't come up with a decent strategy. Amaya held back the tears in the corners of her eyes, palm covering her mouth. She couldn't see anything through the shield but panic was emanating from everyone around her. All those people… all those lives.

"It's my fault." She whispered, taking a few steps back. "I have to be the one to fix all this."

"Amaya, where are you going, stay here!" Sakura caught her disappearing with the corner of her eye but when she turned around there was no trace of Amaya whatsoever.; voice trying to outcry the cacophony of buzzing noises and fearful voices. "It's not safe!"

Most citizens have started to withdraw and hide wherever they could, ascertained that the battle was quickly getting out of hand. Shino's rage hadn't abated at all, though, and he doubled the force of his assault as a part of it was focused anew on the badly wounded Kamizuru. He hadn't promised a way out to anyone, after all.

"Is there _any_ way we can stop this without putting up a fight?" Naruto snapped, barely holding the shield. "Sakura, now's the time to use some of your magic chakra skills."

"We lost Amaya…." She announced, winning both Shikamaru's and Naruto's eyes on her. "I don't know where she is. At least the people have realized the seriousness of the situation."

"Damn, that guy's strong." Naruto sucked in a breath. "I think I'll switch to offensive now."

Sakura gasped as the insects suddenly backed away from and froze, allowing Naruto to lower the shield. Her face twisted into a grimace when she noticed the pile of bodies in the distance. Was anyone still alive from them?

"Took you long enough." Shino uttered, his head slightly tilting. "Too bad Sasuke isn't here. Would've loved to try _him_ out. Uchiha are the most fun to fight."

"You need to shut up, you know." Naruto pouted, his body illuminating with red and orange flames. "I can't let you hurt people anymore. Whatever the Kamizuru have done, they'll go through trial!" He stepped up, "We're not some medieval savages."

"With all my respect, Hokage…"Shino folded hands, the horde of insects splitting in five as he spoke. "I thought I'm being civilized."

"Your insects are eating away their bodies." Naruto snarled in anger. "How is that civilized?"

"They're still alive." He shrugged, then his covered gaze shifted on the dreadful sight that was the current subject of discussion. "Although some are probably crippled by now."

"You're out of your freaking mind." A light blue light birthed at the base of Naruto's hand, setting ablaze the whole area.

"Achemon. Get ready." Shino commanded but before he could direct his thoughts into forming a war strategy, his head was pierced by a sharp pain and his breath hitched. "Wait! Stop."

Achemon made no move, neither did Naruto. He lowered his hand, utterly perplexed by the odd reaction, so contrary to what it's been in the last hour.

"What is… t-that?" Shino caught his head, a quiet groan escaping his lips as he almost lost his balance. A thousand needles stung him and he couldn't trace any thought, couldn't hear anything over the harrowing sensations. It was a merciless, throbbing pain that he wasn't prepared for. "Who's doing that? Stop it!" His thunderous voice echoed in the strange silence that settled among the thinned out crowd.

He lost control over the insects and they flew in every direction, chaotic and lost.

"Achemon, help me." Shino fumed, making his best to sound authoritative but Achemon did not cooperate in any way.

"This must end." He spoke in a deep, absent voice. "I cannot help you when you've chosen the wrong path to thread."

Sakura and Naruto looked at each other when she and Shikamaru neared him, all in wonder what caused the change. Naruto assured them it wasn't him but neither of them was eased. Touching Naruto's arm to let him know of her intentions, she dashed to the heavily injured Kamizuru not far from them.

"I must leave you now." Achemon bent low so that Shino could step on the ground and he did, after a long pause. "Forgive my disobedience. I serve Shino Aburame, and he was once kind and compassionate, despite his power. You have lost him along the way." Achemon's wings flapped and he ascended in the midnight sky as all eyes were on him. "Farewell, Shino-sama."

"I hate you," Shino grunted, limping toward Naruto. "I hate all of you."

"What-" Naruto's expression was half-concern, half-pity when his voice was cut by an intriguing sound. There was a quiet hum that reached their ears, now, when everything became quiet. It was a barely distinctive low melody that resounded from a nearing source.

Shino's gasp shattered under the pain and he fell on his knees.

Naruto and Shikamaru raised a brow when they saw Amaya approaching, hands enveloping her quivering, barely dressed form and eyes deep in sorrow.

"What are you d-" Naruto inquired but Shikamaru shushed him, letting Amaya continue.

Her melody weaved with quiet consistency and purposefulness that was quite mysterious to anyone but her. The tones seemingly affected Shino and only him, in a rather unpleasant way. Sakura ran to them, whispering something to Naruto whereat he looked at her, relieved.

"Stop it…" Shino wearied, trying to crawl away. "I surrender. _Stop._ "

It was her, wasn't it? He knew that voice. Still, it was as loathsome as before to his ears. He knew what she was doing. There was a technique that he thought is long lost among the insect users because of how old it was. Amaya's genes carried that power and that memory, it seems… All insects could be manipulated if the right frequencies were applied to them. Amaya's bees transformed the tones into a terrible low-frequent dissonance that was upsetting him and his bugs to a whole another level.

"Leave me alone!"

The gravel, hoarse cry finally ceased Amaya's painful chant and he took heavy sips of breath, still on his knees. She stopped in front of him, tears streaming down her eyes as she still clung to her soiled nighty.

"I-I.."

"Don't speak to me." Shino cut her off sharply, getting on his feet, or something that looked like it. "Witch." He looked down at his shaking hands.

It was too late to stop the process now… His own kidaichū had turned against him and were about to consume him from the inside.

 _Once you lose control over them, you cannot regain it again_ , used to say his father. _They are the most dangerous insects we have and that's why owning them makes us so special._

Great.

A slow death was all he ever dreamed of.

"I can reverse it." Amaya breathed out, hand reaching for him but he almost tripped, recoiling back as if her touch could burn him.

"Go to hell." His harsh voice made her flinch, assuring her that the help she offered was rejected completely.

He made a step back, then another, Amaya's tearful eyes meaning nothing to him. Still, he turned his back on her, ignoring them. He was pretty tired, it was time to go home, right? Yeah… back to the stone prison he belonged to.

He couldn't wait.

* * *

 _A/N: Aaand, thanks for reading! Damn, I got_ ** _SO_** _angry a few days ago. I read a review on a random story about Ino and some main characters and the reviewer praised the author about "writing so great that you could even make Shino lovable" EXCUSE ME. WHAT. GO AWAY. Shino has always been lovable and also freaking misunderstood because everyone was busy driveling over the cute drama queens around him and their overly significant problems. And because Kishimoto didn't care to give him anything more than a perfunctory sketch of a presence, (which was mostly used for comedy relief anyway; because isolation and loneliness are known to be absolutely hilarious) despite the grand_ _potential he holds. I'm so mad, I can't even contain myself. Glad that I got to write this chapter, it's_ _perfectly apt to my mood. Noble clan? Super high intelligence levels? Perfect senses? Perfect chakra control? Shino is a god of war and is legit in my top 3 favorite characters in that manga._

 _Fight me._

 _I am so mad._

 _P.S. I invented Achemon (his prototype is the Achemon Sphinx Moth). He doesn't exist canonically but I wanted Shino to have a special summon too. Till next time and THANKS to all of you that were kind enough to follow, favorite and review! Love you, guys._


	9. Out Of Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **IX.**

 **\- Out Of Time -**

Home… at least he was at home.

That feeling was like nothing he'd felt before. The kidaichū were rarely turning against their own host rarely and if that happens, it's when the user is young and still unskilled… but now he had used too much chakra and didn't have enough to even make an attempt at controlling them. Even lowering his body temperature didn't help. It was a vortex of mind-twisting agony.

They drained him quicker than he expected and he struggled to breathe, aware that he was minutes away from losing consciousness. He could've headed for the hospital but medics would only mess things up. Treating a member of the Aburame clan was not easy. Usually, they'd go and exterminate the bugs that caused issues just to preserve the user's health but he didn't want to lose that breed because it was his very own and no other Aburame possessed it (except for his father, of course).

It was another matter that they were currently focused on killing him from the inside. And he still loved them. How very predictable of him.

A groan escaped his lips when he almost folded up in two at the pain. They attacked directly at the very center, the source of the chakra. The solar plexus. How very intriguing...

He scoffed, turning to lock his door from the inside.

Now was not the time for fascination. Where was he? Ah… yes, his father. His father wasn't going to get through his death easily. It wasn't like he could do anything about it. His body wasn't holding on as he hoped it will, trying to contain the desynchronized insects.

There was something else, he couldn't grasp the ends of his own pain. It had broken loose and spilling everywhere and he was at a loss. The helplessness chained him down with something new that he had never reached. Depths that held no hope.

* * *

The hospital has never been as lively. Not in this late hour.

Medics shuttled to and fro, carrying bandages, serums, glucose and various instruments. Green light glowed at almost every corner and next to every bed in the now overcrowded infirmary. Many voices raised in protest and pain while others echoed with anger and frustration but Amaya could feel the panic had tangibly abated. Kamizuru were crushed and this time their boldness had brought them on the verge of extinction. The will to fight had evaporated and every spirit was broken to the point of no return.

Amaya doubted anyone would ever make plans to avenge Kamizuru. After the colorful demonstration of what seemed to be an almost limitless power all Kamizuru could do was remain silent and reconcile. She knew it would come to this, at the moment he stood up from that chair, pushing her away and speaking to her with that domineering tone. He turned to ice and stone in a split second and she knew it was all lost.

He was different then, not just a trained warrior, not the noble heart she had been fascinated by since the moment she recognized it. Something inhuman switched on within him at that moment and she couldn't forget the feeling. The guilt that battered her, forcing her tears out until she was dried out didn't give her peace of mind because she was the reason for everything. She turned him monstrous because her methods and her lies and deception captured and cornered him. And it was a wonder to her, that he gave in to her so easily. Without a fight, suspicion or any form of resistance, until her game ended and he woke up from the spell.

Betrayal. That's what was needed to turn an aching soul into a monster. But her story was unlike any other, she couldn't separate the act from the truth and she was now paying for both. For the deceit, she never wanted to apply to someone that didn't deserve it and for the fondness she truly felt, despite everything.

Sakura neared her and slowly put a blanket on her shoulders, fazing her out of the well of thoughts she was drowning in. Amaya raised her eyes to her, full of fear and panic and then lowered them back down, palms covering her face.

"There was no other way to stop him from harming anyone. And stop the Seventh from harming him." She mumbled. "I didn't want to hurt or humiliate him any more than I already did but…"

"We know that." Sakura tapped her on the back, pulling her in for a light hug. "We know it. It was the right thing."

"What should I do?" Amaya searched for Sakura's eyes, pleading. "He has hours."

A small pause opened between them as Sakura backed away from her and grew pensive. It wasn't fair to ask for advice when she was the one to blame for everything but without the help of others, she was lost. So she waited patiently and admired Sakura's refined presence of mind. Did her friends see her the way she did now? A true Sannin.

"The doctor in me screams that we should go and break his house down if we have to, to save his life. Forceful treatment is not my favorite thing but..." Sakura explained matter-of-factly, making Amaya raise her glassy amber eyes to hers in wonder. "The friend in me says you must go on your own and find a way to convince him his life matters to a lot of people and it'd be cruel of him to toss it away like that." She paused, tilting her head. Amaya wiped the tears from her reddened eyes.

"He hates himself so much. And he hates me more." Amaya spoke absently, watery gaze tracing the lines on her opened palms. "I don't know… if he can be convinced of that at all."

Sakura studied her features for a while, then proceeded to clean the grazes on Amaya's palms and upper arms with slowest, most precise movements. She was gentle but a tad more tense than usual.

"What?" Amaya sensed she held something back, preferring to keep it to herself.

"Doesn't matter." Sakura smiled faintly, busy with wrapping light lint around her patient's delicate hands.

"Please, tell me."

Sakura stopped her movements, viridian orbs fixing on the ones against her with seriousness. Her shoulders relaxed with the sigh she let out.

"The woman in me… feels like he needs you." Sakura resumed her wrapping, her voice quieter.

"But he said he hates me and-"

"Perhaps you're too young to have noticed it…" Sakura started hesitatingly, then another sigh escaped her lips. "Women usually are the ones to put their feelings plainly." She stopped, having a hard time with forming the words in her mouth into meaningful enough sentences.

Amaya blinked, confusion and frustration gradually coloring her face in a deep red nuance.

"I thought it's just… I mean…He was always s-so…" She opened her mouth and closed it again, helpless.

Sakura was biting her lip, holding back a bitter smile.

"Passive?"

Amaya looked at her with sadness and nodded.

"You thought it's just one-sided?"

Amaya nodded again.

"Welcome to the party, honey." Sakura leaned in, slight amusement on her features. "I survived two attempts of murder."

Two? Amaya couldn't possibly get the thought into her head, not after she saw how her husband looked after her and how much love he treasured for her. Was she talking about the same person? She thanked all the gods Shino only tried to kill her once… and failed.

"Is there any hope for me?"

Sakura chuckled, winking at her. "I'm married." She reminded.

"Wow…" Amaya mouthed. That must've been a serious battle.

"You should go to him." Once again serious, Sakura rested her hand on Amaya's shoulder. "He doesn't have much time."

"I'm the last person he'd want to see. What if he doesn't-"

"Don't think about the bad alternative. Just go."

Amaya took a deep breath and exhaled. "Okay, I will. I'll try."

"Great." Sakura smiled at her warmly, stepping back and putting hands in the pockets of her overall. "You must excuse me now, there are a lot of Kamizuru that need my medical attention. Most of them are still fighting for their lives." She waved and walked away but nailed in place soon after and faced Amaya again. "Oh, and… if he refuses to heal, call me. I spent most of my life with Shino in my company, with my friends. I am not letting him die just because he's decided to miff like a third-grader." With those words, she walked away and didn't turn around anymore, disappearing behind the door of the infirmary and murmuring something about men always being like babies and a pain in the ass, along the way.

"O-ok," Amaya muttered, overwhelmed by the sudden rage in Sakura's voice.

She decided to keep the blanket on as her feet dragged her out of the infirmary at a slow pace. Her head was heavy with torturous thoughts and doubts and her courage vastly decreased as she found herself in the white corridors. It was quieter and calmer with one or two medics passing by, in a hurry.

She looked down at her worn-out, dirt spotted nighty and despair settled inside of her. How was she supposed to convince him to heal? Or trust her? Or speak to her at all? She was a low trash in his eyes now, a dreg without morals or values. Now even she hated herself. What was left of him?

Just as she was about to return to the infirmary and ask Sakura to help Shino because she lost the courage to do it at the very first step, a shuffling noise dragged her attention to the other side of the corridor and she raised her eyes.

A man in his mid-fifties approached her in his hospital clothes and she quickly scanned him as he dragged on - grizzled, messy hair; wrinkled from the years face and a pair of… Amaya's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the dark glasses on his face. She stepped back but her worry revolved around the fact that the man seemed bothered and uneasiness emanated from his stiff posture in strong waves.

Amaya narrowed eyes. That stiff posture, it was familiar in a way. Could it be? As the man neared her, his brows furrowed too and he nailed in place, a few steps in front of her.

"I heard Kamizuru have attacked my District." He spoke out, eager to know whatever bit of information she could provide. Positively, the medics didn't have any time to stop and explain to him what he wanted to know. "Is it true? You must be one of them."

"It is true," Amaya whispered, the corners of her lips almost lifted in a smile. Those distinctive cheekbones and that straight nose. They looked so much alike. What a bad time and place to meet him.

"Where is my son? Is he alright?" Shibi stepped up, then stopped and looked down for a while. "I feel… as if he-" He looked up at Amaya again, who waited and observed patiently. "He's not alright, is he? I know he's not."

Amaya's eyes stilled on his glasses, the lump in her throat disabling her ability to speak. Instead, she just grimaced in pain and shook her head. Shibi seemed a tad surprised to see such a compassionate expression on her features, given that she was a Kamizuru, but his confusion quickly faded as his lips parted with a new bewilderment.

This time Amaya was the one who was dumbfounded.

"Can you help him?" He spoke, slow and weary.

Has Shino mentioned anything about her to his father? She wasn't sure whether he recognized her or he just asked, at random, after seeing her reaction.

"I don't know if I can…" Amaya glanced back at the direction of the infirmary. "I'm not strong enough."

"Please help him." Shibi placed a hand on hers, begging. "He's all I have. Please. I cannot leave the hospital but you can."

The way he spoke those words transfixed her deeply. He put all his faith in her not only because he had no choice but because he was driven by a conviction that she was indeed strong enough. Perhaps she had to believe in that for once. Under no circumstances was she to share that she was the reason his son's condition, though. She couldn't afford to win his hatred in a moment like this.

"I'll go… but I can't promise you anything."

"Doesn't matter." Shibi squeezed her hand, trying to hide the fact that his was trembling.

Amaya parted with him with a nod and hurried to find the hospital's exit, certain that Shibi's eyes rested on her back until he lost her from sight.

* * *

She left her blanket on the chairs in the kitchen once she got in the house, eyes scanning every furniture as if seeing it for the first time. With all lights down, Amaya couldn't help but notice a change, the house looked grim and solitary. The stone exuded chillness that spread around and enveloped everything. Pacing back and forth, Amaya made her best to not let it envelop her too. She had no plan but time was of the essence.

Alright.

She nailed in place and looked up to the empty corridor for a second, then walked all the way to the last room in the corner. Her hand reached for the handle but a muffled cry of pain startled her and she backed away, furrowing.

"Go away," Shino warned, his voice simmering but low. The controlled, steady lowness that she missed so badly. He was past the senseless anger and already threading the I-extremely-regret-what-I've-done path. It was good for her to hear that shade in his tone, it meant she had a chance. "I know you're there."

Amaya reached for the handle once again but found out it was locked. She then thought for a while, head leaning on the cold metal of the door. Quiet, strained moans reiterated with intervals of heavy breathing. Amaya felt stinging in the back of her eyes again, fighting back the dread that rose inside of her.

Asking for forgiveness was not the way. Although all she did, she did with no intentions to hurt. At least that's what she told herself. A sob tore away from her at the thought of what she could've caused if the whole massacre plan was executed correctly. Her chest was so heavy that she found it hard to breathe.

She knew her presence was the last thing he needed. But if he died now, she'd want to die too. No matter what everyone said. No matter what either of the two of them thought or felt.

Was there a way to breach through?

Her fingers groped the handle with new determination. She could try something. Some of her bees could help with corroding the lock… Of course, her bees enveloped the handle and crawled into the lock, their low buzzing was the first thing that calmed her in this long, hellish day. A small click echoed in the vastness of the corridor she stood in and with it a tumble in her stomach.

The string that connected them was so fragile that she was scared. Out of her mind. One wrong movement was going to snap it apart and nothing was ever going to be the same. She slowly clicked the door open and stepped in. Complete darkness fell as she leaned back to press the door shut with her slightly shaking form.

"Get away... from me." Shino struggled to form the words firmly but they continued to sound like a plead. "Leave my house, I don't want you here."

Amaya couldn't quite tell where he was but she followed the awful sound of wheezing, snatched breathing.

"I have to help you." Amaya made another step in the dark, uncertain. "Or else I won't forgive myself."

"Leave my house," Shino repeated absently, then again, as if she was a curse and repeating the words would cast her away. "Leave my house."

"I can't leave." Amaya forced herself to speak. "Please, Shino, you have to understand." But as she feared, he wanted to hear none of what she said, retorting right after.

"I hate when I have to explain things more than once." He growled. "If you want to help me, pack your bags and leave. Go ruin someone else's life."

"I want to prove myself-"

"You proved yourself a virus." Shino cut her off, in his calmest intonation. "You can only do harm."

His words were like a physical blow to her and she almost gasped, nailing in place. Somehow, it hurt her way more than she thought. Preparing for the damage was a tad different from actually receiving it.

"Fine. Go ahead and suffer until you die, then." Amaya spoke, trying her best to keep her composure but her voice quivered. "At least your pride will remain intact."

She paced back and shut the door from the outside, releasing her breath. Her whole body shook with anger as she closed her eyes and slipped down until sitting on the ground. She tried everything. To no avail. Why was he so damn stubborn?

True, she only managed to hurt him so his reactions were natural but he had to take a leap of faith one last time. Let her prove she's not the monster circumstances made her. Neither of them wanted all this to happen, she was convinced of it. If only it wouldn't hurt as much if it did. They invested too much in each other to let it all fall apart in such a tragic way. She didn't want it to end like that.

A shiver shook Amaya's body, in touch with the stone floor.

She messed up a lot of things but letting him die wasn't in her plans… Even if he despised her, she could heal him. And then leave, if he so wished. Right? But oh, dear… how was she supposed to do that? That furious and within such a maddening state, he could very well kill her. It wouldn't surprise her if he made an attempt.

Slight fear shrank her heart as she enveloped her legs with hands.

Was it wise to go in there by force?

What would anyone do in her place? Call help?

She was so confused that she felt like crying.

"Aya?" A hoarse whisper reached her ears and she looked back at the door, surprised to hear his voice from so close. Did he crawl his way to it? He spoke as if he was alone, as if she was far and away from his reach, already lost, despite that she was sure he could sense her presence. Was that how he called her in his mind? It was so intimate that she caught her breath, listening. "I am sorry. Please, come back to me."

There was a small pause before Amaya leaned her temple on the cold metal, taking a slow breath. There he was. Cutest man in the world, returned to her. The one that showed her around Konoha two weeks ago, trying to conceal even his own existence behind a dark clothing and dark glasses. The who spoke in despairing tones and suffered in despairing measures.

"I'm so sorry. Don't leave me." His voice strained under the weight of his pain and crippling doubt. "I need you, don't leave."

Another pause. Amaya didn't move… just waited.

He seemed to give up because she heard him shifting back away.

Tears streamed down her eyes because she could feel… the sorrow. So tangible and real every time when she was near him, wondrously not materializing in any way. And that silent reconcilement he was a master of always got her. It was like hot iron through her heart to see him accept whatever came to him with such perfect serenity.

The sadness spread like a high tide and engulfed her. What happened with his sense of perception? He gave up, reconciling as if he couldn't feel her presence anymore.

Amaya brushed her tears away and clicked the door back open, entering again. The shuffling of sheets and the muffled gritting on soft surface guided her to the corner of the room where she touched the side of a bed. One thing she knew for sure, kidaichū were merciless when they cut loose and not many things could stop them.

The trail they left was dreadful and the wounds - unimaginable. Amaya climbed up and using her sense of touch found Shino's shrunk form, wrapped in a few thin blankets and shivering. His skin was burning as if with a fever but she knew better, the kidaichū were at fault here. And they feasted on Shino's rich amounts of chakra. Or not so rich… Amaya forgot he fought quite furiously just an hour or so ago. He heaved up a bit when he sensed her touch and grabbed her closer, sitting up. Amaya smiled, hugging him back, hands around his neck.

Her mind almost whirled with the sensation of relief washing through her in waves as he pressed her cold softness against the molten of his. Even through his t-shirt, she could feel the heat…but icy water dripped from his hair. He probably tried to dazzle the kidaichū with low temperature and give himself a chance to regain control over them but… these were no ordinary bugs and he certainly knew that.

Amaya's brows wrinkled as she backed away enough to face him, an inch or two away. His glasses were gone and it was her turn to be blind in the dark. She only regretted that it was pitch black and she couldn't see him with loosened hair. The thought alone amused and distracted her a tad. A smile curved her lips when she found herself imagining how beautiful he always was when no one was watching or there to see.

The shattered breaths of air he gave out echoed in the silence for a little more before her hand slipped down his shoulder, fazed at the sudden faintish state her body slipped in. It was like a wave that took away all of her strength and she couldn't support her weight. "S-Shino…" Her voice trembled, fear and confusion mixing into one as she made her best to remain calm. The closeness of their skin… did he do that on purpose? Consuming her life-force. "My chakra… you'll-" He startled, shifting away from her with panic and with the motion ceased the effect on her. "I can't control them, I didn't want to…I'm sorry." His voice was sincere but never as weary. "You must stay away, I hurt people, I'll hurt you too."

Amaya held back a chuckle, cheered by his comically warning tone. It was as if he was too kind to be that powerful and he regretted having those powers. Probably the only one that could find himself in such a state.

"Shino, I am not afraid of you." She restored their closeness, threading a tad more carefully. "I know I should've… 'cause you're a force to be reckoned with. And you should run for the position of an Eighth."

Shino paused his snatched breathing for a moment, surprised when the flow of her words reached its end. But then he pressed her closer again. Amaya reminded herself he wasn't going to last much longer if she didn't do something. Her head slightly turned and she mouthed out a quiet melody, lips close to his ear.

It was fascinating that some types of bugs were so deeply affected by randomly ordered, complicated notes and some only needed mental superiority to obey. But she was glad that her knowledge was of use. Those melodies… it wasn't the Kamizuru that taught her that… she couldn't even call it jutsu because it was older than most of the techniques that existed out there.

Those melodies were of the time before the ones wielding chakra called that wielding 'techniques'. It used to be called a sort of magic, she assumed, since not many could perform it and not many made an impact or a change. It was her mother that taught her those songs and warned her about them. She warned her that they should remain a secret among the clans that used the symbiosis of a human body and an insect because they were the ultimate control.

Amaya did not want to use it in front of everyone but it was done… and she couldn't turn the time back. On the other side, Shino wasn't holding her as tightly as she continued steadily to chant to him. He soon laid back on his pillow and she laid down with him, enjoying the effect she had on him. Her voice was simultaneously a remedy and a strong soporific.

"I can't give myself to anyone… anymore." He turned to her within his half-dream, his breathing shattered in pieces. "I'm falling apart."

"I know." Amaya shifted as close as she could, speaking in her quietest whisper. "It's my fault. I told you I don't deserve your kindness."

He took a breath and exhaled tiredly, the whiff of air caressing her forehead. Thank goodness, the kidaichū had stopped torturing him but she was afraid that without healing techniques his condition will remain critical. Good thing that he was falling asleep, she thought.

"It's my fault for everything." Amaya wasn't sure why she insisted but she continued to speak out loud. Her conscience did not leave her alone, even now. "And I am terribly sorry."

The silence prolonged and she didn't dare move or speak, positive that he was already asleep. He surely was, his breathing was calm and rhythmic. In fact, she could use some sleep too, after this terrible day. Maybe her guilt wouldn't gnaw at her if she dreamt.

"I accept the apology." Shino startled her with his voice but then her body shook with a brief, hollow chuckle.

Of course, he'd say that.

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. So, I was sitting Sunday night on my desk, chilling and admiring the weekend time with another terribly apt for this chapter song echoing in my ears when this beautiful, beautiful yellow-spotted moth alighted in front of me. Don't know where it got from but I'm pretty sure I have been sent a message to update my fic already. If I lived in the Narutoverse, I could guarantee you I'd be an Aburame. Insects just love me. I'll try my best to update whenever I can._

 _Anyway, I wanted to make Amaya more real by giving her all that fear, doubt and cowardice in a way and I really hope she's not like the ordinary OCs that follow the classical plot line of saving the hero. This time she was driven by her own conscience because she did the damage and she was the one who had to fix it._

 _Also, I might have a little bit more than 10 chapters, I have this idea but I don't know yet. Important thing is to keep it cute for me because I usually tilt it all to sexual and I wasn't sure that's what I wanted for this fanfic._

 _Sorry for the long A/N. Until next time!_

* * *

 _ **Imogen,**_ _thanks for coming back to read my fic and leave a review, makes me really happy. I love SasuSaku, yeah. Glad you liked what I did with Shino because it was really out of character but I tried to imagine what he would be like if he gets furious hah._

 _ **jusst-izzyy,**_ _your excitement totally warms my heart. Thanks for leaving a review and letting me know what you think!_

 _ **Guest,**_ _yeah, I'm totally into Shino. Because he's my type. Smart and quiet AND humble, unlike Sasuke and all them show offs (the list is so long tho). Not gonna talk about it._

 _ **StrikerTheFallen,**_ _thank you for the review. I love Aburame too and it's killing me that Kishimoto left them without much attention. Thanks for the story you've recommended, I might look it up_ _._

 _ **barrrbs,**_ _thanks for the review! I am not fond of breaking people's hearts. But I am not really done with the painful things. That's what I do. Can't change._


	10. Mend

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

* * *

 **X.**

 **\- Mend –**

He woke up painfully slow but it was fine by him, at least his bugs didn't feel like they tried to destroy him from the inside anymore. His body was exhausted as never before so he didn't hurry to open his eyes. What did he do?

Took him a while to return to reality, reminiscing yesterday's events. Guilt and dread struck him right away and he could feel the throbbing pain in his head increasing with every flash of a memory.

How did all this even happen? When did he manage to unleash anger in such scales?

Not a day had passed that he has broken the promise he made to himself, to not let emotions rule his mind. He was almost convinced that nothing could shake him in a way that he'd lose his composure fully, as it happened last night. Even sealing Torune turned out something that he could handle. He remembered a heart-wringing sensation that went on for a few days then, leaving him sad and mute to his very soul but he figured it out. After a few sleepless nights, he regained his control and continued on his path. His shinobi path.

Protect the village, protect the innocent? He couldn't even protect himself from that wrath that poured out like a massive wave, and he didn't know where it all got from. A stream of hatred washed through him as if he had never tried to keep himself from it, as if he hadn't built walls against it in all his years. That was a form of weakness that usually led to fatal mistakes, and in his rage, he almost made those fatal mistakes.

For the sake of common sense and his Aburame title, he had to fix everything. But that was always the hardest part.

A heavy, tormented sigh fell off his lips. The light was faint but it stung him in the second he attempted to open his eyes. He shrunk away but the closest object he found was Amaya herself and although he knew she was awake, it was terribly inconvenient for him to have to hide his eyes from the light in such way, buried in her hair.

"You alright?" Amaya was a tad surprised but didn't push him away; instead caressed his hair calmingly.

"Sorry. T-the light…" Shino explained, trying to shift in a more comfortable for her position but she had hugged him, arms and legs wrapped around his torso; her skin was warm to the touch… and a tad rugged. That was the bees' doing, likely, his own skin had a similar aspect; he absolutely hated this on his own skin but it was reassuring now, to have someone like him near. To feel that familiar asperity onto him made his heart shrink; it simultaneously gave him another reason to hate himself and need her. Did he have to detach from her?

"Oh. There is a small beam of light, yes." She chuckled quietly and the vibrations went through him as well. "But I barely see anything, I didn't know it irritated you."

"I… I think I might have something to cover my eyes with, in the cabinet."

She reached for the bedside cabinet, heaved up, and searched through it.

"There is a black cloth I sometimes tie around my eyes. Should be there somewhere." He incited her but she already found what she looked for, letting out a huff.

"Here it is. But you won't see anything with it." Amaya proceeded to wrap and tie the band around his eyes. "There you go."

"Thank you."

She was right, he couldn't see anything and it's never bothered him until he met her. Sometimes he thought that he'd be better off blind. His vision was half-and-half anyway. Never able to see the light, he only wondered what it's like to not cover his eyes with anything. But as he thought about it further, blindness was not a good choice either. His senses were developed but without his specific vision he'd probably be disoriented and lost. He'd rather feel than see though.

They laid back on the pillow but Shino couldn't resist and hugged her in the same way, in need to feel the sweet scent her skin gave out. She didn't seem to mind; just the opposite, she chuckled again.

"Everything fine now?"

"No, it's not. " He grumped tiredly, wondering how she could still laugh after everything she's been through. "I hurt everyone."

Amaya exhaled slowly, her warm breath dancing on his skin. Her lips brushed his hair absently as she kept on with her light caress, like the motion of her fingers helped her calm down more than it helped him. She was indeed a fairy, she has always been; from the moment he saw her sitting on his table. So much younger and so much brighter, it killed him to think he could've harmed her in his senseless fit.

Her fear was grand when she came in last night, it even overpowered his own - that he had lost her affection forever with what he did. It wasn't fair. All this time, he balanced within the normal, within the law of what's allowed and then Kamizuru showed up and shook his foundations. He could not possibly remain indifferent to such an insult to his clan but remaining indifferent also meant hurting the one he cared about. He cared about her and knowing that she's cared too, but only to distract him from the edge she pressed deeper into his back hurt him immensely. In measures he hadn't thought possible.

Now… she held no fear. Overwhelming sadness was what replaced fear. He felt it, it was clear, serene.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, curious; severing the prolonged silence.

"That I actually love you." Amaya drawled.

Shino went over the words a few times and the way she said them; he especially examined the use of the word _actually_ , it was as if she hasn't been sure until now but now she had no doubt about it. Surprise took over him at first, he realized he didn't know what he's supposed to say to this, but then something else.

She was sad and he wasn't sure why. Perhaps because she had plenty of feelings but didn't know what to do with them without the trust and the safety they were supposed to come with. It was the same with him, he understood the impasse she was in.

He knew nothing of relationships but he was pretty sure what both of them went through was not a good example of one. Everything about it was wrong, from their very first conversation. Lies, deception, secrets… they didn't even know each other. He was drowning in remorse, wishing that circumstances had offered him a better opportunity to show what he was capable of, wishing that both of them weren't standing in the middle of ruins now. His only hope was that she hasn't left yet. All the more, she came back. Despite everything.

"You should've let me die."

The words rolled out of his mouth before he could think them through. There was a part of him that still desired death. Because it seemed the easier way to escape the shame and the consequences, and this pulse of his heart, beating slow, with a wistful ache. If only…

Amaya tightened her grip around him, her body trembling with that breeze-like, delicate sadness she contained. She was on the verge of crying again and it didn't make him feel any better, at all.

"Did you not hear what I just said?" Her whisper was lost in the shaky breath she released.

How was she to know that he wasn't what he showed he was? He was not a brute, nor a sadist, neither was he violent. It was natural that she'd want to leave and he wasn't sure how he'd accept that. Any promise he could make would only shape him further in the very image he never intended to present. What if he snaps again, though? Was he even sure of his perfect control? Last night he was out of any control he could possibly have - his own bugs did not listen to him.

That was it, he had to let go. For the sake of her safety and his dignity.

A heavy lump set itself in his throat at the very notion.

"What… what time is it? I have to… go to the school." Shino wearied, trying to reach his phone. But Amaya let him know the time first, her voice still a bit hoarse.

"It's almost noon." She touched his shoulder to stop him and he faced her again.

"Noon?" It's been hours... Shino groaned, attempting to get out of the bed. "They're probably still waiting-"

"It's fine!" Amaya exclaimed. "I called the school a few hours ago and told them you're not coming because you're not feeling well."

Shino stopped mid-motion, fazed at the new information. He must've slept a lot after losing so much chakra. It was his fault for using so many techniques at once.

"You did?"

"Yeah. It's alright." Amaya paused. "Everyone's heard about what happened yesterday and I doubt…" Her voice trailed off but he caught the tinge in it; they were reluctant to let him near children before, but now, after this accident, they'd probably forbid him to even get close to them. He had to say goodbye to this profession too. That long-forgotten heart-wringing sensation returned with its full power.

Shino slowly returned back on the pillow next to her and sighed heavily. "They'll be happy anyway, without me."

"I'm pretty sure they'll miss you." Amaya let out a breathy laugh.

There was a small pause between them but Shino could feel a dreadful tension in his body and he couldn't chase it away.

"Amaya, we must stop-"

"I'll go make some tea." She cut him off, louder.

Acting like nothing's wrong because it was not a good idea to keep it all going, he wanted to finish, but didn't. Instead, he stilled with surprise.

She wasn't giving up, then. Fighting to keep them alive, keep the flicker between them he was so determined to extinguish, alive. He turned mute again, unsure what to say. Was it right to keep this going? No, but he didn't find the strength to oppose her and something told him that she did not want opposition. It only troubled him that he couldn't look her in the eyes because she was always so eloquent, even a few days ago, when she was trying her best to deceive him.

"Lay still." She pressed him back on the pillow gently and loomed over him for a brief second, with an abated breath. "You need rest."

He couldn't read through her, she had sealed everything within. But she slightly quivered, as if hesitating whether to speak or not.

"I could ask you if you want us to start anew if I didn't know that's impossible." She breathed out, and an urge to silence her hit him right after, but she continued, "But I can ask you to pick things up where we left them, before we both messed up. Can you do that?"

The chasm between what he could and what he should do was way too wide. It was true, they couldn't just erase what happened but he nodded, nevertheless, knowing that she'd notice, as close as she was. She then placed a kiss on his forehead and parted him lightly, stepping off the bed.

Amaya left the room with a few supple, quiet steps and left him pondering over her words. Shino heaved up a bit, leaning on his pillow, his fingers skimmed over his forehead absent-mindedly. A wave of relief washed through him. He, with his terrible lack of social skills and rancorous mind, and delinquent habits, couldn't possibly solve this situation with anything as plausible. Thank all divinities that she was better than him, at everything. Well, not everything. Alright, almost everything.

Anyway, he had missed her touch so badly that he seriously considered getting out of his bed and going straight to the kitchen to seek it again.

Pains covered his whole body but he couldn't recognize the feeling. Never before had he experienced an attack from his own kidaichu and the sensation was strange. Visceral, dull soreness irritated him relentlessly since the moment he woke up, his muscles ached too and he was dizzy with some minor fever, and with deep sorrow, he found out that all he managed was to shift from a lying to a sitting position and nothing more. After his conversation with Amaya, he also discovered that forcing his mind to think of complicated subjects was causing sharp pangs to appear in his head so he avoided thinking of anything at all, in hopes that it'd better his wretched condition.

A quiet hum reached his ears and he held his breath, listening. It was the same song she sang that morning when he thought he was dreaming. He relaxed back with a sigh. Such a pleasant voice she had, so fluent and unostentatious, that it almost healed him. It's what this house's been missing all these years. A woman's voice and touch. Somehow, Amaya had the power to make these stone walls pleasant and these wide rooms not so dark. One thing bothered him a lot, though. His father was not a Kamizuru fan. That fact alone called problems that he hadn't the power to think through right now.

He suspected his glasses were where he left them last night, on a drawer he couldn't reach…

Amaya returned soon after, poised and calmer than before, and he sensed the herbal tint that came with her. Mild, caramel taste along with something bitter, positively lemon. Should be Hojicha, the roasted green tea she had drunk a week ago before they went to Naruto's birthday. She must've taken a liking in it.

"Don't blame me if I spill it on your bed, I don't see a thing." Amaya admonished, before setting herself on the bed next to him and taking his hand to let him know she was near.

He slightly shivered when her cold fingers came in touch with his, but he hurried to take the cup from her, grateful. It was indeed Hojicha, he tried it and savored the pleasant and warm sweetness of it.

"Thank you." He said, but it somewhat sounded like a question and he heard her puff at his reaction.

It had turned into an obligation, a pressing desire, to look at her, to observe her, and so it burned him from the inside. He couldn't resist. "Could you…" He lowered his cup but it suddenly became frustrating, when he imagined such a wish spoken out loud.

Silence. She waited for his request with no sensible antagonism.

"Could you bring me the glasses? I left them… on a drawer across the room."

"You want to see?" Amaya huffed playfully, probably amused by the controversial thought that the dense darkness of his room was not a problem to his eyes.

"I want to see you." He corrected, and fazed her; the shuffling of the sheets ceased abruptly.

Nothing moved in one brief second before he heard the shuffling again and the sound a cup placed on a cabinet. Amaya returned to him right away and carefully untied the band over his eyes, trying her best not to interact with the tea in his hands as she switched the band for his glasses and then retreated. He had to blink a few times to readjust his vision and once he did, he found Amaya sitting next to him, squeezing her own cup and looking down, at an indefinite point in the sheets.

Her hair was loose, only a few locks tucked behind her right ear, and her face was paler than he remembered, ashen and tired. Maybe he imagined it, maybe it was just a prejudice but she was different. Everything about her was different, except-

She looked up, a tad confused, and her eyes stilled on him, lips slightly twitching.

Except for that shift in her features - the hope, the fire, that little smile of hers that captivated and branded his heart, it was the same as ever. So strange, she held all those things _he_ did about ten years ago. All the things he lost along the way, with time. Here, in this very moment, she was his living silence and breathing melancholy, the blind vigor he had when he was younger, that joy he often woke up with after the war ended – joy that there was life blooming around him and he was alive to see it.

He was sad to acknowledge all these things were lost from his sight and he had slowly become a man, consumed by his sorrows. Given up, shutting everything and everyone out. It was as if the need for attention had made him more fractious and picky and… hurt, but he could fix those things. All he needed was a little bit of help.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" He mouthed the words absently. "I think I might be a bad person because I always-"

Amaya suddenly chuckled, catching him unprepared. Briefly and quietly but it sounded like she couldn't suppress it. Which suggested she has found in his question something very funny.

"You, a bad person?" She asked again, and hushed, to think the question through, sinking into a serious reflection. Then she groped about, finding the cabinet only to leave her tea there and near him. He was a little stupefied, unsure of her intentions as she came inches away from his face, still wearing a thoughtful expression. She tilted her head, estimating. Her breath was warm on his skin when she spoke. "Only on Mondays."

They stood in silence for a while but then the moment was lost with the ringing of Shino's phone.

"I'll-"

"Yeah." She smiled, backing away.

Shino reluctantly reached for his phone and picked up slowly, lips sealed. He saw who called but wasn't prepared to talk with him just yet. Facing the consequences was part of the fixing, he knew, so he braced himself and waited for his sentence.

"The Tsuchikage is already on her way to Konoha. The Council will gather too." Naruto's voice echoed through the speaker, with a rare grim tint. "There will be trials for you, Amaya, and the other Kamizuru as well. I think that's fair."

"It is." Shino agreed, glancing at the woman next to him.

She was concerned, furrowing at him.

"When I say trial, I mean it'll include every possible outcome, do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good." Naruto snapped. "The ambassador better have a convincing alibi for what she's done. You, at least, have a reason, but that doesn't mean you'll receive any condescension from the Council, you know what they're like."

"And you?" Shino couldn't help but ask.

There was a pause and he could feel the hesitation in the silence he opened.

"I'm still your friend," Naruto said, a tad muffled, as if through a heavy pout, but then he let out a hiss of annoyance. "The only reason the Police still hasn't breached through your house and hasn't arrested you two yet is that I stopped them. Sakura told me Amaya's with you. Give her the phone."

Shino was aware that Naruto could become angry to that extent but he had never felt that same anger upon his shoulders. Something bitter rose within him at the thought… he's caused so much trouble to his one true friend. But then again, he didn't think much last night.

He placed the phone in Amaya's hand and she trembled at the unexpected touch.

"The Hokage." Shino clarified, smoothing out the furrow on her face. She quickly brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" Amaya's voice shook a bit.

A long pause followed. Shino could distinguish some of the words he heard just now so he figured Naruto explained the situation to her too, using the same words. But at the end, after a few affirmations from her, he caught a few words that fazed him.

 _Feel threatened… call… is dangerous… underestimate…_

"I will surely do, Lord Seventh. Thank you." Amaya's amber eyes flickered to Shino's for a millisecond, then she hung up and returned the phone to him.

Curiosity haunted him and he tried to fight it at first, staring at her. She was sipping on her tea again, her distant look only intriguing him more and more. Did she hide something? His head ached way too much for him to jump into this game all over again.

"He told me to contact the Police if I feel threatened by you even the slightest." Amaya pondered out loud, answering the questions in his head. "They don't think it's safe for me to be around you after your attempts to kill me last night." A small smile adorned her features and she sipped from her cup once more.

"It's not."

"Let _me_ decide that."

She was so casual about it that it convinced him then and there, fully and undeniably, once and for all, that she was insane. All the more, she was his kind of insane. And because of that, he has never been as attracted to someone before as he was right now, to her.

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 _A/N: Remember when I said I'd write 10 chapters only? Nope. I've got a few chapters more in my head, so I'm totally not finishing this soon. I'm really sorry I couldn't update quickly, was busy with finally getting to publish some original work._

 _ANYWAY, I know Shino and Amaya's relationship is not healthy, please don't freak out, they don't know each other that well yet, there's time for everything. Also, I'm still not sure about where I'm going with this story. Lately, I've been imagining some things about them both and I'm not sure what my brain wants me to do anymore. All I know is that I love it. See ya next time._

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 _SORRY,_ _ **barrrbs,**_ _love, I had so many things to do! Hope you won't be mad at me for being so slow with the updates._

 _Thank you so much for the review,_ _ **Rockgrl14,**_ _I appreciate everything you said and I'm sorry that you feel let down by the way I've described everything (I am aware the fight was too quick) but I felt like writing it that way by the time. As for Shino and Amaya's relationship, please calm down, there is still a lot to develop there. Positively, I wasn't going to leave everything like that! Thanks, again._

 _ **Evalyd Yamazaki,**_ _thanks for leaving a review, dear! I agree that Kishimoto didn't care to focus on Aburame at all. They were as intriguing to me as were Uchiha as well as the other noble clans. As for your first question, he kissed her because she was beautiful and kind to him and he didn't know how else to reply to her kindness. As to how he knew she was lying to him – that was the moment he realized no one has ever been so kind to him and her kindness was like some glitch he failed to catch in the beginning, too mesmerized. He is aware no one's ever been interested in him that much and that opened his eyes._

 _Thanks to all the_ _ **Guest**_ _reviews, you are all so kind and… a bit needy lol. I don't really write lemons, for the record. Mine are more like some soft smuff but I'm not sure what will it be for this story, I'll see what works and what feels right for me._


	11. A Little Bit More

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.**

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 **XI.**

 **\- A Little Bit More -**

Shino had never realized how small you can feel when you're bound by such nerve-wracking, thick silence, standing under countless pairs of curious (or maybe judging) eyes. He was indeed standing, next to Amaya and in front of the Kamizuru group that attacked the Aburame District two days ago; their faces pale and breathing shallow. Waiting for his sentence proved to be disturbing to a point where he was almost dizzy with anticipation. There was this subconscious need gnawing at him, to leave the place at once and seek the peace of his own presence, that and nothing else.

The hall was almost full of people; most of them people he knew, and it made his skin crawl with cold shivers. Carrying the consequences of his actions was something that he had to do, but in front of all those people he let down… it was slowly killing him. On the other side, what he did had a perfectly good reason and he did not get tired of explaining that over and over again. His rights as an Aburame granted him the better side of the coin – after all, he and Amaya were the victims in all of this. He reminded himself that all the time they were interrogating him, but… his power had spread farther than he had anticipated and farther than he could control, and that meant he was a danger to himself as well as to the people around him.

Waves of condescension altered waves of fright, they washed through him and sifted through his body as he stood there in silence and waited. Kurotsuchi, the Fourth Earth Shadow, was surprisingly cold and reserved ever since she arrived at the Academy. They usually used one of the larger rooms when there was a serious trial of that scale. Which almost never happened. Anyway, as far as he knew, small trials were solved in one of the rooms in the Hokage residence, but Naruto has seemingly decided to gather everyone at one of the greater halls in the Academy. He knew that one, he knew every hall in the Academy, in fact.

Shino remembered how interesting a place he thought it to be when he was a child. Suddenly, he was dragged from the quietness of his home and the forest he dearly loved and placed in a place with a multitude of strong individuals, all of which he grew fond of through the years. He met friends, he met heroes when he first found himself between those walls. Then he returned to them, later in life, as if to go back to that warm feeling he lost there. To ensure the children that he teaches keep it for as long as they can. When did he lose it, though? And why?

He almost jumped at the sensation of someone else's skin brushing against the back of his hand, turning to see Amaya looking at him cautiously, her head slightly tilting and brows wrinkling with worry. She leaned in, glancing at the now whispering Council in the far distance of the room.

Naruto appeared particularly grim as he gesticulated ardently, filled with obvious antagonism. The Tsuchikage was pale, but somewhat adamant on the decision they've taken by far and Shikamaru just stood beside them, hands folded, and pouting. The former members of Konoha's Council Koharu and Homura were there too, but they were mostly silent.

"I have a bad feeling." Amaya mouthed, her eyes shifting back to him.

"Me too."

Shino couldn't suppress the motion of his fingers, slightly hooking at hers and bringing immediate surprise in her once she noticed. Then her lips curved in that smile he so adored and she squeezed his hand.

"I don't care what they'll decide, I'm with you." Amaya just breathed out the words when a murmur rose in the room and dragged their attention to the Council, now moving to a more frontal position at the podium.

Naruto looked down to his feet and let the murmur extend, the usual ebullience in his light eyes now smothered and abated to unusual for him gloominess. He looked disturbed when he got in the hall a few hours ago, but now there was an air of defeat around him, of dispiritedness that forestalled nothing good. Shino sensed the Council has made a decision he hasn't fully supported and something of a spasm shrank his heart when he realized Naruto still was on his side, even after all he did two days ago. Even though he wasn't supposed to, being responsible for Konoha as a whole.

Naruto puffed up his cheeks, lightly flinging at his cloak and coughing to get the attention. Silence spread in the room right away.

"After a long… discussion in which we… had in mind all points of view," Naruto's pauses became gradually larger; he scanned the attending then, eyes skimming over Hinata, Sakura, Kiba, most of his friends, colleagues, all the familiar faces to which he held a responsibility to.

He was more than reluctant, but quickly gathered the courage to continue, looking directly at Shino, "For the sake of Konoha's safety as well as that of Kamizuru Amaya, The Tsuchikage has insisted that you must be separated from her and, as an act that can prove your loyalty, you will serve to the Hokage, myself, under a direct, strict regime for three whole months." He paused again, swallowing. Then his eyes shifted on Amaya who was now more than mortified. "The Council has decided that Ambassador Kamizuru Amaya will return to her village and, as the Council has considered highly advisable, not meet that man again."

Amaya parted her lips and a sharp exhale came out of her, but she said nothing because Naruto kept on talking, steady and even.

"Each Kamizuru involved in the attack will get a sentence of imprisonment or community service work according to the severity of their crime and damage done and that will happen once they're back in the village of Iwagakure. This decision was based on my request to the Tsuchikage to not involve me in the judgment of citizens who are rightfully under her protection. Konoha has no responsibility for these men and women and therefore the judgment ought to be local." Naruto looked at the Tsuchikage and stepped away, to give her the word.

Kurotsuchi took her hat in her hands and stepped ahead.

"I, The Tsuchikage of Iwagakure, want to officially apologize to the citizens of Konohagakure for the disturbance those criminals have caused you. I can only hope you'll forgive me for it is on my shoulders – whatever harm has been done to the people of this village as well as the damages." She took another breath, then looked at Shino. "I want to officially apologize to the Noble Clan of Aburame too, for taking an unexpected blow like this. Although I am obliged to defend my own citizens, I must admit your actions are justified to some extent. However, I cannot overlook a direct attack on an Ambassador of mine so I think it is best for both sides if you don't contact each other again."

Shino did not yet fully understand what was happening, but Amaya seemingly did because tears had welled up in the corners of her eyes when she looked at him, intently, and he replied with the same.

"I am to leave Konoha in an hour, with the criminals and my Ambassador so… Amaya," The Tsuchikage called, but to no avail – Amaya had set her eyes strictly on Shino, "I give you an hour to pack your things and join me. There will be a police escort with you. That's all. Thank you."

Most of the attendants got up from their places and noise swelled and rang out in the crammed hall; Shino was in the middle of something like a harsh lockdown where he couldn't quite get a grip on his usual flow of logic. His thoughts were a chaos and he was in a silent confrontation with himself. Naruto's words echoed in his head like a doleful tintinnabulation and in any other circumstance this decision would've been the right one, but he didn't feel like it was the right one now.

"Shino, let's get out of here." Amaya took his hand and dragged him impetuously toward the exit, mingling with the crowd.

He didn't reply, didn't oppose, didn't care. He didn't even want to meet the Council at the moment… or Naruto, or anyone for that matter. He let Amaya lead them out and through small alleys that she had no knowledge of. Her sense of perception was of an insect user, though, he was sure she'd find his home by the scent, even if her eyes were closed.

Konoha's sky was a gloomy canvas with all the nuances of grey and ashen as they walked, side by side, in a perfect silence. Shino decided to spend his time watching Amaya as she dashed forward, lips pursed and fighting tears. He couldn't count which time it was that she became upset to that extent, but it somehow reverberated on his mute soul at this very moment. All those times he's been the reason for it so… he had nothing to say. He was guilty and he deserved his punishment.

Right?

Then why did he feel that awful clench that suffocated him again? It was fair, it was all fair.

There was pure anger on Amaya's features when they finally reached the Aburame Household and she stopped at the front door. It was at then when it struck him that he had one hour only with her left and there were two shinobi in uniforms already waiting there, at the door, to remind him of the reality of his situation. As quietly as they came out of the house this morning, they entered, passing by the shinobi and closed the door behind their backs.

"I am _not_ going anywhere." Amaya snapped, wrathful and shaking; her silhouette shifted in indefinite motions in front of him as he stood still and observed her without interrupting. "I am not going. I want to be _here._ "

"You must pack your bags," Shino announced, erasing every intonation from his voice.

"No." She whispered, then stepped to him and hugged him tightly. "No, no, no. Not now. We just fixed everything. We just fixed it."

"It's not for you to decide."

"Don't pretend you don't care because I can feel that you do." Amaya let out a choked laugh.

"And I can feel it too."

Both of them flinched at the new voice, way deeper and calmer, and searched for its source. Shibi was standing at the other side of the corridor and a faint light from the kitchen's window fell over him, and carved the wrinkles on his face discerningly where it wasn't hidden by his dark glasses. He smiled at them and approached cautiously, stopping at a safe distance; he offered Amaya a hand and waited for her to respond. Amaya looked up to Shino for a second before taking Shibi's hand timidly.

Of course he'd be like that, Shino almost puffed. For all the years of his life he's been flat to the extreme and didn't care to give his son more than the usual and suddenly there was a chivalrous side he's never shown. Ridiculous. With a shake of his head, Shino followed them to the kitchen where he caught the scent of a few herbs… and mushrooms?

"Sit down, my dear. You will eat because it's already past noon." Shibi sat her on one of the chairs and Amaya couldn't help but bite back a smile, looking up to Shino with wonder.

"I am not hungry."

"What part of _you will eat_ was unclear?" Shibi leaned both his hand on the table, furrowing.

Amaya parted her lips to reply but was at a loss for words so she just closed them again and reconciled with a shrug. She brushed the corners of her eyes and puffed her cheeks tiredly.

"Are you not gonna introduce yourself?" Shino asked dryly.

Shibi raised his eyes to him for a second before continuing with placing the dishes on the table. "We've met before," He said, moving to the pan on the warm hob behind him. "I hope you like tofu, my dear." Shibi glanced at Amaya who waved indifferently as if it doesn't bother her, whatever he offers. "I put pepper and mushrooms."

"Stop calling her _my dear_."

"I will call her whatever I want to." His father replied mildly, then smiled at Amaya again. "You can call me Shibi, nice to meet you again."

Shino scowled at him. Embarrassing him at a time like this. It wasn't enough that he had to part with her in less than an hour. He still stood at the threshold, with his fists clenched, when his father put the food in the plates and clearly planned on sitting next to Amaya. Not just next to her, not more than an elbow of distance between them. What was he even doing in the house? Except for the fact that it was his house, he had no right to be here. Why didn't he spend a few days more in the hospital? It was so peaceful when he was absent.

With a quick, sharp motion Shino crossed the room and took the chair he just intended to sit on and glared at him. Shibi stood still, with his plate in hands, and appeared not in the least bothered by Shino's demonstrative cut-off. He just surrounded the table and sat on Amaya's other side, just as close. Then put the plate on the table and locked his gaze with Shino's complacently.

Amaya broke the thick silence with a quiet, _"Uh…"_ and utter confusion on her features, but Shibi took a loud breath and gestured at her to start eating.

"I've always wanted a daughter, you know." He smiled again, starting to eat likely to make her feel more comfortable, but Shino was already grinding his teeth.

 _Where did he come up with that nonsense?_

Amaya chuckled, putting a lock of hair behind her ear. "Really? I've always thought men prefer to have boys."

"Absolutely not." Shibi scoffed, looking down to his food. "This is more of a myth."

Shino was baffled beyond measure. Was he serious right now? "I'm sorry, I want to have a word with Amaya before she leaves." His cold tone made the other two face him and an awkward pause opened up between them.

"Look at him, he's so transparent." Shibi went on. "Girls are not like this. A girl would've met me with a greeting and a hug. All he does is hate me. Because I'm talking to you."

Amaya looked at Shino, then at his father. Then she placed a kiss on Shibi's cheek and Shino absently stood up, angry with something he couldn't quite understand. Amaya burst into laughter when Shibi gestured toward Shino with a motion of the hand that said _You see?_ That laughter… Shino's fists relaxed a bit as he forced himself to remember it. He had mixed feelings about it. Seeing her laugh was all he had ever wanted, but then again, he knew that sound will only cause him pain when she's gone.

"Smitten," Shibi concluded, with a shake of his head, and continued eating, but Amaya was distracted by other thoughts, he saw her eyes saddening vastly when she set them on him, even though there was still a smile on her lips.

" _Yes, I am."_ She lipped silently, so that Shibi can't hear her, and pulled Shino's chair closer to her. Her hand caught his and pulled him down on it gently. "I finally understand," Amaya now spoke out loud, with a playful smile, "why Aburame are always looking so incredibly fit."

"Are we?" Shibi asked, intrigued. It was indeed intriguing, considering they were covered in clothes from head to toe all the time. "How can you tell?"

"I'm sure no one eats mushrooms and tofu for lunch here. Ever." Amaya took a morsel and gave it to Shino who complied with whatever she was doing. He didn't care, as long as she was close, and it seems that she enjoyed it. "You're practically on a diet your whole lives."

"So you're saying I have a chance." Shibi's emotionless remark made her chuckle again.

"You might." Amaya looked up to Shino, chewing slowly. "I am into older guys."

"So, I heard my son tried to destroy my District. Is that why you're leaving?"

Both Shino and Amaya fazed and turned to him. Another pause spread between them, but Shibi didn't seem much disquieted by any of the two notions, eating on. Either he didn't care or he was good at hiding that he did. Shino could bet that he did care, simply because that trick was something he did too, himself.

"It's complicated, really." Amaya dropped her fork on the table, putting both her hand on her lap. "I hurt him so he wanted to hurt me, but the difference is that I succeeded and he didn't." She paused, looking down. "And now that we're both repenting, they think it's best for us to be apart."

"Maybe it is." Shibi drawled, then left his fork too, looking at them inquisitively. "But in my humble opinion, that's a screwed up decision. I've never liked that Council anyway."

"It's done." Shino confuted. Nothing could change that decision anymore. "Two shinobi are waiting for her outside the house. She's going back to Iwagakure."

"It is what it is. You can't break the law." Shibi sighed, taking his fork again. "However, you can still talk to each other, they can't forbid you that."

Amaya's eyes lit up and she looked back to Shino. "You mean they'd allow us to exchange letters or something?"

"I don't see why not."

"I will write to you then," Amaya decided firmly. "To both of you." She was more than content with her decision, but Shino couldn't find it in himself to rejoice. Letters? Alright. What if she has no time for it? If she finds happiness elsewhere and forgets about him? They all did, sometime. He was… forgettable. How long can this last? A year? Two? Did she really need him as much as he needed her, enough to keep her attached for so long? Heaviness appeared in his chest when he tried to take a breath and failed. So he was saying goodbye, then.

"Excuse me," Shino uttered, standing up. "I have to do something."

Amaya and Shibi startled at his sudden movement, but before they could say anything he was out of the kitchen.

* * *

There were certain volumes of solace that he got from staying in the entomological haven he built, seemingly, for the purpose of seeking salvation in it when he stumbled across moments like this. Which is why he forgot about the flow of time when he went there again. The glass roof allowed the frail sunlight to get through with a specific refraction that assured all his insects received the needed amount to live. It was nice to bask in the sun, sitting on the small bench in the middle.

He could sit there during the winters too, and feel as if he's outside. Hear all the pleasant buzzing and whizzing around him. Surrounded by life, it made him feel alive too and… somehow free. Of the many confinements in his life. Deep down, he knew that his insects would be the ones who save him, whatever happens. That even if he finds something more elevated or more intriguing to dedicate himself to, he'd always come back to his flourishing garden of insects. If one thing hasn't changed for all the years of his life, it was the basic joy he was filled with every time he sat there.

He heard the small creak of the door but didn't turn to face the newcomer, still too submerged into his reflections (which in any case were the first positive thing that happened to him during this awful day). Light steps neared him and he closed his eyes, hands clenching around the glass jar he held close. The forest fairy approached and sat next to him quietly, her fragrance splashing over the place with a sensible wave. He'd never admit to anyone that every time she sat as close or touched, she triggered the implausible set of desires that he was not good at controlling. Desires to unify that fragrance with his.

"You had a great time with my father?" Shino took a breath and opened his eyes, reminding himself that his time of looking at her was incredibly limited. She narrowed eyes, unsure what to say. "Did he manage to harass you while I wasn't looking?"

"No, he..." Amaya couldn't help but chuckle, "he was polite. And nice. And also…" She nodded to herself before finishing, "clarified to me that you love me back, despite my doubts about it."

 _What?_

Shino suddenly snapped back to reality, his eyes fixed on Amaya's. She had doubts about it? That he never said anything didn't mean that- _He never said anything._ The thought transfixed him mercilessly. Fathers. He just _has_ to ruin everything, right? How was that even helping? The situation was such that even his father had more charm than him now. He officially messed everything up.

"You're all red." Amaya was looking at him with half-concern, half-curiosity.

"No, I'm not." He looked away from her, in another direction, anywhere but her, everywhere but her. How could she tell, when he wore glasses? He had to begin wearing a mask like Kakashi, too. Glass. Insects. Sunlight. It was warm, perfect. Perfect, perfect. Good. Great. Strong waves of heat and inconvenience washed through him, but they were not important. The awful silence he fell in was important, the one that was like a self-made pit. Deep, dark pit. Darkest.

"Shino, I gotta go," Amaya whispered softly, but it was like a shout to him and he stood up, stunned to hear her voice again. He just stared at her now, with the jar in his hands and tried his best to not embarrass himself anymore. _Like that's even possible._ Her _voice_ frightened him. Her voice. When did a woman's voice become frightening?

Amaya pursed her lips together as she stood up too, determined to torture him with her silence. She really did enjoy his agony, didn't she? Aburame. Aburame were a noble clan. They are fearsome and clever, and intelligent. They do not fear women.

"What is that?" She glanced down to the jar in his hands and he blinked a few times before realizing there was a jar in his hands.

"Uh, that's…" He handed it to her (way more quickly than he should've because his hands were shaking too much) and she took it, a bit confused, but mostly pleased. "That's Eien *****." He paused, observing Amaya's reaction to the puffy bumblebee in the jar. "Also known as, uh… Bombie. I am giving him to you." She lowered the jar with her eyes struggling to hold the fascination and already failing grandly.

"Shino, I am trying so hard not to cry." She breathed out. "You're not helping."

"I'm really sorry. It was not intentional, even if it might seem like it." He looked down. "That's what I do since we met, making you cry." There had to be a pause of laughter here that was missing. "I thought that he liked you so it will be better if he stays with you. I'm afraid you'd make a better queen bee than me." He heard Amaya scoff but had no intentions of looking up to her. "I suspect that's why he liked you in the first place. Or he's just fed up with having males all around him and wants to diversify his life because he's lonely. And he wishes things were…" He abated when Amaya neared him a breath away and her lips brushed against his.

"Things were what, Shino? Different?" She proceeded to kiss him, knowing that he wouldn't dare; her body pressing against his and it wasn't the same as the first time he kissed her because back then she was parted, distant, surprised. She was now willing and somehow open, and… hurting. Her form, with all its softness, had the potential to mould against his, if he only seized on it, but that was just going to be another breaking of the law. Another cul-de-sac that he was going to create for both of them. He was the older one, the wiser one, he knew he had to make the tougher decision to separate them now. But by all gods, he had no idea how to do it; her lips were desperate and it was a cruel irony that she did not only know him by way of thinking, but she sensed him by soul. She could speak instead of him and not misconstrue him in the least. But he knew in his heart that it was not the right way. This. Them. So he pushed her away - gently, but certainly.

"You can't make me commit another crime, Aya." He held her by the arms so that she doesn't near him anymore. "I am a shinobi."

"I know." She stepped back, to free herself from his touch. "I just wanted to steal a little bit more from you, that's all."

Shino took a breath, but she spoke before he could.

"Don't say that word." Tears streamed down her face as she raised her hand to stop him. "Don't you dare."

"What do you want me to say then?"

"Nothing. Just leave the door unlocked for me. For when I get back." Amaya winked at him, a wide smile transforming her sorrowful grimace. Then she took a shattered breath. "I _will_ write to you, you know. Even if you don't like it."

Shino nodded at her and she disappeared through the door with a quick pace.

* * *

 ***** _Means **eternity** in Japanese._

* * *

 _A/N: SORRY for being so late with the update, I haven't abandoned this story AT ALL, it's just I had some personal issues that were of primal importance! Anyway, this chapter is like extra sad (wow what a surprise), but yeah. It wouldn't be me if I don't break a heart or two. One of my brothers considers me the most pessimistic and depressed person that has ever existed on this world and I full-heartedly agree with him. In my defence… it just doesn't feel real and raw to me if there is no pain and suffering. I think I say that in every fic I write lol. See you next time!_


	12. Letters

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

 **XII.**

 **\- Letters -**

" _I keep my promise, as you can see. This marks my first letter._

 _Things are back to normal here, people are getting ready for the harsh winter. I think I never got the chance to mention to you that winters here, in Iwa, are the actual worst. Last year the stone pavement on our main street started to crack! I believe it's the harsh wind that we face from North that makes everything ten times colder. Anyway, we are coping very well. Bombie is pretty happy, as far as I can tell. Mother is happy to see me alive and well, The Tsuchikage is happy that she's caught Jibachi and Suzumebachi as well as all their followers. Practically, everyone's happy._

 _I know you wonder how I feel and I don't think there's much to say. I am quite at the opposite of happy right now… and I am pretty sure it's not because the weather is bad. Some strange melancholy caught up with me today, while I was eating tofu with mushrooms and pepper. Is your father talking about me? Tell him I miss him. In case he's wondering, my favorite color is green._

 _Yours,_

 _Amaya"_

Shino scoffed with amusement, hands folding the letter in two. She was such a tease.

He looked through the windows as he sat in the kitchen and watched as the snowflakes cascaded peacefully to the ground, leaning back in the chair. Not a single breath of wind. Mornings like this were so perfect that he wished he could stop time and revere in the miraculous sight instead of going to the Academy where noise and drama awaited him. So very peaceful that he wished he could go out and become a part of the landscape, somewhat blend into the silent magnificence of the nature he's loved since he was a little.

Then he tore his gaze away, pondering over the letter in his hands. He missed her bated, mild voice when she talked to him and it wasn't the same to imagine it… and it's been only a week.

He slowly took the pen from the table and pulled a sheet of paper from the messy piles that took up most of the table's free space, sighing into the silence.

" _I am sorry to hear your winters are… stone-cracking. Must be really hard to survive them. Blizzards are something very rare for Konoha, but I'm sure they're a frequent visitor in your parts. I am not jealous. Make sure Bombie is safe and warm, he's not really resistant to coldness._

 _S."_

Shino folded the letter diligently, furrowing at it for a good ten minutes before standing up sharply and heading out.

* * *

Her letter came late in the night and he assured his father he's not skipping dinner and going to be earlier because he's ill. His father asked him if the mail's arrived earlier. His father knew him too well and it's always been a problem.

" _Are you seriously gonna write to me two lines only? About the weather? I could get that information everywhere… Tell me what you're thinking, Shino. "S."?! By all gods, this is manslaughter. And since I am not willing to waste this whole piece of paper for two sentences only myself, I intend to share things. (I am so mad at you.)_

 _Anyway._

 _Remember our first conversation?_

 _Yes, I feel obliged to mention it… I thought they've sent a random messenger or something, to greet me. I never thought that the one I had to find and "target", as they told me then, was… there, in front of me. I was stunned and you noticed it. I failed there. And you noticed it, from the very start, and when I failed some more afterward, you noticed again, you noticed every time but kept on ignoring. It was inexplicable to me and I never stopped thinking about this. Why didn't you end the game earlier?_

 _Off-topic, I wonder what Sakura Haruno is doing? Is she doing well? She was so kind to me and I don't think I ever got the chance to thank her for the bits of advice and the support she gave me before I left._

 _P.S. Please, don't talk about the weather._

 _Yours,_

 _Amaya"_

Shino lingered in his bed, holding the letter above his head and examining her elegant handwriting for a while before putting the letter on his bedside cabinet, carefully folded.

Yours? He was aware that was a part of the mandatory frame of the letter, but the sound of it in his head was making him feel good. Better. He's never thought over the whole notion of calling someone yours, he's never thought he'd ever have to. It was weird. Possession was applied for inanimate objects to him, not for human beings. However, if she fancied the idea, then so be it.

He promised to himself to write a reply first thing in the morning.

* * *

" _Trust me, you don't want to know what I'm thinking about. You'll most likely be bored. And you'll start making excuses, diverting the subject to something else because you won't be able to handle my tedious effusions. Of course, knowing the level of your delicateness, as well as your fabulous talent for deception, I might not even understand whether you like it or not, even if you don't. I can't allow myself to bore you unintentionally. I am not trying to attack, I am only posing the facts. With all that said, it's best if I don't share fragments of my life. Surely, you know that it contains monotony that presents an interest to neither of us both. But if you're so curious, I can oblige this time only._

 _The Hokage is not strictly following my every move, as he mentioned he would; he hasn't got the coldness in his heart to do so and actually trusts me just as much as before. I am helping him a lot more with various things and he's glad of it, but he doesn't suspect that I know for a fact that he feels uncomfortable and somewhat guilty that he wasn't able to keep you in Konoha. He blames himself for everything and I try to convince him I am fine and his decision was perfectly just. He couldn't possibly indulge everyone, not with the Tsuchikage around._

 _That's the truth… the bare truth. And still, he is not happy with what happened. On the other hand, I managed to get closer to him and we talk more… he's more interested in Aburame now and their traditions, opinions and even views on the politics of the village._

 _(I suspect his interest is more of fright, to not challenge a noble clan's wrath, rather than applying mutual tolerance. His initial reluctance towards my clan hasn't changed a bit, but the thought only amuses me at this point. Aburame are one scary bunch of odd people, that's unquestionable and I had to become an adult to realize it.)_

 _Sakura was flushed-happy to hear you're thanking her for everything. I met her today after school and she jumped onto me for a hug. It was rather unpleasant and uncomfortable, but I endured it. She said to me to deliver to you a message I didn't really understand. I believe it may hold more meaning for you. "I am still married."_

 _As for your question, yes. Yes, I do remember. And why I didn't end the game? Because… This might sound a little rude, but I am not sure you will understand the influence you had on me. You wouldn't. And whatever you were thinking by the time, deep in my heart, I knew my blindness was going to be the death of me, but I chose to be ignorant anyway. I felt- I was important for once in my life, that's it. The reason is purely selfish, I'm afraid, and ugly. Unfortunately, selfishness can never be poetic._

 _Regards,_

 _Shino"_

Amaya released her breath, quickly folding the letter and putting it away when her tear dropped on the thin sheet of paper and moistened it. Her eyes shifted on her sleeping mother across, on the other armchair they had placed in front of the now crackling fireplace, along with a low square table between them.

She stood up, silently reaching for the blanket that has slipped down and picked it up, covering her mother gently; then she backed away to her place again, relishing on the view for a while. The flames caught her attention soon after and her blurry gaze sank within them tiredly.

There was so much pain in those last lines. Condensed pain she caused. But she was glad they got to the root of the problems, there was a chance to reconstruct now.

Amaya stood up, off to take a piece of paper and returned to her chair, pulling the table closer. Her pen tapped the surface a few times.

" _If there was anyone selfish here, that was me. I only thought of my mother's safety... and of mine as well. But there were other ways. Better ways. I am awfully sorry for what I did, I am only ashamed of it now, but I can't pretend I didn't want it all to happen because I met you. And I swear, once the winter is over, I'll sneak my way to you without anyone noticing. I don't even care about law and rules anymore. I wish I could just… let you have me. That's all I want."_

Amaya backed away from the sheet of paper, horror altering her features. She grabbed the paper and squashed it on its way to the fire. Decency. What happened to decency? Her teeth dug down into her lip, eyes flickering to the dancing blaze. Her head slightly tilted. Did he think about that, though? Having her?

Could he dare, after the brutal way she destroyed his trust? Was it low to use that as a way to show how much she's sorry, was that wrong? She didn't feel like it. She felt like he deserved it. Like she wanted it. Like it was obligatory. He didn't seem to know that he was, in fact, particularly attractive in so many, many ways.

" _I am glad that we talk about it. But I miss you and it's hellish without your sweet tea. And I am cursing myself every single day because I hurt a person whose life was already filled with punishments of faith, but I am so, so happy that we clashed. I found out how awful I am in reality, thank you for that. In the end… with a risk to sound bold, I don't think any of us was acting selfish, I think we were both trying to survive._

 _I hope you will forgive me someday. Until that time comes, I shall apologize over and over._

 _Yours,_

 _Amaya"_

* * *

" _Please, don't feel that way. You are forgiven. I had hoped you will forgive me… because I lost myself in that endless cycle of hurting and self-pity. You struck the part most guarded by me, the center around that cycle swirled. My pride. The downfall of every great man that has ever existed. But I was glad you came to Konoha, I still am. Even though I despise changes because they make me feel bad, I am willing to change whatever I can and must, to let this… happen. I don't know how to call it, yet. Unfortunately._

 _I send you this herbarium as a sign of our official peace treaty. I do not wish to wage war against you, your clan or anyone else for that matter. I just wish they could let you come here once more. I have this odd feeling that if they don't, I might come to you instead. Illegal activities have never been my forte, neither have been socializing, cooking, teaching, being nice, touching people. Technology. Technology is my newest fear and the greatest nightmare so far. My students are doing great and they're frighteningly better than me at all those things, likely because it's a significant part of their generation. There is something in those gadgets that scares me immensely and I thank all gods I don't have to come face to face with them for now, and the skills and knowledge I have are sufficient._

 _Anyway, I think my father misses you a lot. He keeps on saying "I wish I had a daughter" in this tired, nonchalant way around me like he's sighing or something, and I don't understand whether he's aiming to make me feel bad or just remembering you. Last time he asked me if you were willing to bear my children and I said that this is the most outrageously inappropriate question he could come up with and "Can you keep your distorted thoughts to yourself, please? I'll be forever grateful. Thank you very much." I am sorry for what those words might cause to you once you read them, I don't even know why I wrote them to you. Hope you have a nice day._

 _Regards,_

 _Shino"_

Amaya couldn't help but laugh out loud. The excessive amount of useless information he gave her was just so interestingly private and hilarious at the same time. That flow of words, it was what he was like and she was so happy that he allowed her to see him for what he is again. A few letters earlier he told her that he wouldn't risk boring her with it, but now it seemed like he gave it anyway.

Her fingers spread the previously cut-open letter and took out the herbarium of the delicate and dried white-yellow winter jasmine, blushing as she looked at it thoroughly.

"Are you going to tell me anything or not?" Her mother's voice wrested her out of the quiet flow of sweet thoughts her mind produced at the sight of the flower and she locked her eyes with her for one long moment of silence.

"Tell you what, exactly?" Amaya quickly tucked the letter and the herbarium back in the envelope and put it in the pocket of her trousers.

"Who is the mysterious _S_ that keeps on making you blush like that, huh?" Her mother put hands on her hips, her brow lifted in suspicion.

Amaya furrowed, eyes down to the wooden surface of their kitchen table. "How'd even know about that?"

"I take in the mail every day, dear. I haven't read anything you wouldn't want me to, though."

Sighing, Amaya gave her a small smile.

"Aburame Shino, mom."

Her mother's face paled to white and her hands dropped down lifelessly; lips apart in absolute astonishment. The transformation was rather rapid and Amaya slightly worried. Neither of them moved, so the harsh blow of the wind outside filled in the silent gap between them.

" _The_ Aburame Shino? The one Kamizuru recruited you to…?" Her mother's voice faded and she swallowed down, fear clenching her elderly body and imprinting on her amber eyes. "My dear…he's- You said he's…"

"What?" Amaya tilted her head, half-expecting to start a fight only to defend Shino's innocence. "What did I say?"

"Back when you explained to me what happened in Konoha, you never told me that you got close."

"Well, now you know." Amaya shrugged, already thinking it's a bad idea that she shared. Her mother was a skeptic and of the older generation. Aburame weren't favorites. But she never supported genocides or violence of any kind so Amaya knew that she'd understand.

The silence extended as her mother looked down at a point in the floor, heavily in thought and furrowing immensely. Then she met her daughter's eyes and managed a forced smile.

"Just be careful, sweetie."

Amaya nodded, but in her mind, there was a loud revolt at these words.

 _I am tired of being careful._

 _I don't want to be careful anymore._

Her mom went to the kitchen counter and after a quiet chuckle, turned to her daughter with some newly-born amusement on her features.

"Aburame are one of the oldest and respected noble clans… as far as I've read about Konoha's history and foundations."

"And?" Amaya leaned back on her chair, unsure where her mother was heading. That glowing amusement on her face forestalled something weird so she braced herself.

Her mom folded hands and gave her a meaning look.

"So he's practically a royalty, right? A prince."

Amaya looked at her for a moment and then her irises gradually widened. She never thought of it that way, but… The heat darkened her whole face. That was kind of true and it was alarming her on a different level now. "…oh." Was all she managed to reply before standing up and heading out of the kitchen. The embarrassment was too much.

She heard her mother burst into sincere laughing somewhere behind her.

* * *

" _You have no idea how much I miss you both, you and your father. Please, tell him I kiss my hand to him, to not be sad that I'm far. It was my plan to be his daughter and bear your children all along anyway. I hope that doesn't upset you much. Knowing you, it probably will. I wish I was there, to see your reaction to this… well, confession._

Shino left the letter on the desk and stared at it, frightened by the sound of it in his head. The classroom was still empty, as he was there earlier than necessary, but it was only because he wished to read Amaya's letter in peace.

He peeked into the letter, read the first lines a few times more and glanced up to the door, to see if anyone was coming. He could feel an odd warmth spread in his body, swell in his heart and heat up his face. His children? _His?_ Flesh and blood. Suddenly that fantastic notion became a real possibility in his mind and he could visualize it, as impossible as it has sounded to him till now. It all made him feel somehow happy.

His eyes fell down to the rest of the text immediately.

 _I am being cruel (I don't know if that should surprise you). I know we are apart by law and I don't know when or if this law will ever change. I have hopes that it will, though, someday. The Tsuchikage is harsh but not a sadist. The bad thing is, as much as she kept a neutral side, now she doesn't see Aburame in the same way she did, before you. Your powers and influence scared her greatly, you know. Your profound connection with the insects is scaring her, it's scaring every living insect user, actually. Ask anyone, ask your own clan._

 _I am not sure you understand that your control is above everyone else's and you are a perfect weapon, clever and a good leader as well. She has no way to counter you. There are nothing and no one like you in any of the great five nations and beyond. Do you understand why she wanted you secluded and under surveillance now? Apart from me, because she thought I anger you with my presence? Yes. I know. I tried to explain to her after we came back to Iwa. Alas, she doesn't see beyond her fear._

 _I don't want to talk about this, though. I only told you this because you didn't know how to call this thing between us. You don't have to call it in any way, let it speak for us itself. It was never as simple as the other 'things' between people. It doesn't have to be, we're different than people._

 _I accept the peace treaty with gratitude and relief. I fell for you the moment I met you and now I can repeat it freely and as much as I can._

 _But, let's talk about your class and their frightening knowledge of technology. Do they use your fear against you and cheat? I can see them doing that._

 _P.S. I think Bombie is… grieving you because he doesn't eat much lately and only sleeps. What should I do?!_

 _Yours,_

 _Amaya"_

"Aburame-sensei?"

He almost jumped in surprise, noticing that all his student were in their places already and staring at him with pure wonder.

Sarada and Chouchou shared glances of mutual agreement. They've probably had a bet on something. He had to stop those bets. Bets proceeded gambling and gambling was bad.

* * *

" _Doesn't it bother you that insects grieve me and at the same time the head of your village is scared of me? I think you must be in the same wrong as me for overlooking those small facts. Give him from the small pouch of crumbs I'll send to you along with the letter, they should make him feel better. (I am surprised to hear he's sad as well. His signs that he's attracted to you were clear, -unlike mine-.)_

Amaya tried her best to suppress the laughter that came out of her since she was in the village's library and leaning on a solid bookcase as people walked to and fro around her. Maybe she had to find a quieter and private place, but she couldn't help it, impatient to read the letter she found on her way out of the house.

The last two words were deliberately scratched in a way that she could see the words clearly. She bit her lip.

 _Also, how dare you fancy the idea of cheating in my class? Their parents have explained to them the situation very well. They know the rules. If you cheat, I'll drain your chakra off you. If you help someone else pass the test, I'll have you lay in a hospital for a week. I considered putting the rules on a board in the classroom, but the incident with Kamizuru spread the news quick. I don't even need a board to instill fear now, it's in their eyes._

 _I lied._

 _I let them cheat all the time because I don't have the heart to stop them._

Amaya had to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle her snickering. She looked up to a group of elders that looked at her judgmentally and she became serious right away, adding a quiet _Sorry._

 _I never asked that, but… how is your mother doing? Does she know that I'm writing to you? Tell her I'm sorry for everything I've done to her and you, and give her that hellebore to pay my respects to her._

 _Regards,_

 _Shino"_

Amaya sighed, eyeing the flower and the miniature, transparent pouch with auburn crumbs inside. She was gonna be delighted.

* * *

" _My mom thanks you from the bottom of her heart. She said you're being very charming and would love to meet you and your dad in person someday. (I don't think that would end up well, though. We shouldn't allow that to happen, right? Right.) You know, they could actually like each other…_

Shino puffed, raising the letter up as he shifted documents from his bed absently. Definitely not letting that happen. His eyes flickered to the clock and he puffed again. There was no time for anything these days. He eyed the long text Amaya has written and decided to read it, but write back to her in twelve hours, after that whole exam madness was over.

* * *

Shino passed a hand over his eyes and sighed into the darkness of his room. Sometimes he just wondered whether he's just mentally sick and violently masochistic for accepting this job in the first place.

Fridays always roused so many mixed feelings, he was conflicted between the urge to cry because he practically has had enough of working by now and the happiness that lit him up at the thought that it was the week's end. Also, the mail came usually on Fridays.

This particular morning was terribly cold. He could feel the chill creeping its way through the surface of his skin as he dressed up quickly and pressed the frame of his glasses against his eyes before opening up the heavy door and stepping out to the faint light of the kitchen window, far across the corridor.

There was some noise coming from the kitchen so he figured his father was already up. When he finally entered the kitchen, he nearly clashed into his dad, the latter brushing past him and through the door like a wift of air.

"Father." Shino eyed the letters on the table suspiciously and then the back of the older man who stopped in his place and turned around a little bit awkwardly as if he's hoped to skip the part where a conversation occurred. "Aren't you going to eat breakfast with me?"

"Ah, no, not really," Shibi muttered under his breath and waved with his hand indefinitely. "Sorry. I had this meeting with Choza, he wanted to talk to me about something. I'll be going." He made a pause, then quickly disappeared in the next room.

Shino was baffled at first but decided to pay him no mind, eager to read Amaya's next letter. He rummaged through the new letters absently, still confused by Shibi's weird behavior. It was very much like him, disappearing without an explanation, avoiding him… well, he just loved in a different way.

Shino never forgot the day Shimura came to take him away and his father didn't allow, preferring to have Torune lost to whatever Shimura had decided to do with him and suffer the twinges of guilt rather than parting with his son and giving him away. Shino never forgot the way his father came to him in the middle of the night then and lingered at the door for a long time before going back to sleep. Shibi was a generally strange man to many, but Shino was aware he hasn't lost his ability to love, despite spending a whole life between stone walls and… without his wife.

"You've checked the mail?" Shino asked out loud so that his father could hear him. Odd. He couldn't find any letter from Iwagakure. "Otou-san? Did you take a letter from here?"

"Not at all. Everything I found in the mailbox is on the table." Shibi's hoarse voice reached him from the other room. "I'm late, Shino. I'll see you later." The sound that echoed resembled almost-running and the feeling of it was all way too transparent than Shibi probably thought it was.

"You haven't got any meeting, have you?" Shino asked out loud, succeeding at nailing the footsteps at once. The suspense was brief because Shibi went out without no further replies, leaving his son staring down at the letters. He was always so considerate; he could give him that.

No letter from Amaya this week. For the first time in ten weeks.

Shino raised a brow.

It wasn't the end of the world, the letter might've been delayed or she hadn't got the time to reply, he just had to wait a few days and see. He hummed thoughtfully and turned to look at the tightly shut front door at the end of the corridor. What bothered him more was why Shibi left so quickly.

* * *

 _A/N: I'm not leaving this fic, I told you that and you shouldn't doubt my compulsive need to finish things I've started lol_

 _Ok, so. As I was writing on this chapter I realized I haven't explained why I made this odd decision to add a trait to Aburame that isn't actually canon. Though, it's all based on the canon fact that Shino has always been since he was a kid, highly empathetic and sensitive when it came to others' feelings and emotions. He practically sensed Hinata was upset once. So I thought that maybe if Aburame have this characteristic, they'd be prone falling victim of it and suffer the consequences quite vividly. Anyway, I'm sure no one doubted that I managed to invent a deeply romantic subplot out of all this. It's more sad than cute, but yeah. Thanks for reading! See you next time._

 _And,_ _ **barrbs,**_ _I forgot to reply to you! It's post-war, so he's 32 and I haven't mentioned it yet, but she's 24._


	13. Heartbeat

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

 _A/N: Sorry for the long chapter in advance, I share my thoughts in the end so… enjoy!_

 **XIII.**

 **\- Heartbeat -** _  
_

"What are we going to do now, sensei?" Boruto asked out loud, spinning the pen between his fingers eagerly.

Shino looked up with a little jump and stared at his students. Cold shivers ran through him as he breathed in and out, his thoughts whirling in dizzying chaos.

 _What?_

"Aburame-sensei?" Sarada raised a brow.

"Yes." He stood up, walking in front of the desk.

Boruto and Sarada exchanged glances of confusion. Shino looked down at his hands, then at the fully written board behind him. The class expected him to go on, but he hadn't... There were many writings on that board, a sign of recently used chalk on his clothes, opened-up notes on his desk… he looked at the class, his heart beating unhealthily loud in his chest. Wonder was spread on every face against him, wonder and concern.

"What was I saying?" He exhaled, not trusting his voice to deliver as his heavy breathing was something that could cause tumult in the attending and he didn't want to drag the attention as much. That is, if the horror hadn't already slipped through the cracks of his respectable figure.

"You were saying we'll talk something about teamwork after we're done with the tasks," Shikadai explained, with a suspicious undertone.

"Yes. Teamwork."

Shino curled his fists to stop them from shaking and returned to his chair. Then the pause extended, he looked intently at the sheets in front of him.

"Didn't I… give you the tasks just now?"

"No, that was at the start of the class, forty-five minutes ago."

Shino's stomach tumbled unpleasantly at the information.

"Alright. I might… leave that for the next time. What do you think?" Shino automatically started gathering the sheets into a single pile, hoping that his students wouldn't mind ending the class earlier. Fortunately, they expressed a willing agreement, eager to be free and go out without questioning his motive.

There was one of his students that gathered her things slower than the rest as if with the intent to remain with him in the room on purpose. Once the class ran out of the door and the noise disappeared with it, Sarada neared him timidly and stopped in front of the desk, both hands squeezing her backpack. He pretended to be busy reading a report to remove some of the frustration she resonated and give her time. It was a natural reaction for everyone near him so he learned how to predispose people.

"Aburame-sensei, a-are you alright?"

The question got him surprised because he was positive she would ask something school-related. His covered eyes raised to her and he thumped the pile of sheets with a sigh.

"Never better. Why?"

"Uhm," Sarada huffed with nervous amusement and a flash of a smile appeared on her lips, "well, let's say having the greatest medic in the world for a mom taught me some things. Father is not the only one who trained me to see, uh, so to say." Sarada paused, hand pressing the bridge of her glasses quickly. Clearly speaking to him wasn't easy to her, but she appeared generally concerned.

"You think I'm not feeling well."

Sarada nodded.

"Oh. Very sweet of you." Shino felt like he had to exclaim but the words fell off him flatly. "But I am fine, don't worry about me."

"O-ok." Sarada stepped away with another nod, her black eyes still on him for a moment before averting.

Shino followed her leave slowly and with uncertainty.

Strange. Very strange. It was even stranger that she appeared more worried than he was. Which was worrisome itself, given the fact that he didn't quite remember forty-five minutes passing. With another sigh, he stood up and prepared to leave the Academy.

* * *

As he shut the front door, he stilled in one place, distinguishing the creak of a chair pulled back as well as footsteps. Shino raised a brow, slowly making his way to the kitchen, from where the noise came from. It was his father, by the scent of it, but the suspicious part was his movements quickened and sharpened at the moment Shino entered the house.

His father was acting pretty odd in the last four days and it kind of annoyed him that they lived under the same roof and he apparently kept secrets of some sort. Shibi was washing the dishes when he stopped at the threshold and furrowed.

"Am I making you feel uncomfortable, father?" Shino finally asked, after a whole weekend of silence.

"What? Where did you get that idea from?" Shibi scoffed, turning back for a moment before continuing to rub a dish. "You are the last person I'd feel uncomfortable with."

"You… run away from me." Shino reminded, leaving his things on one of the chairs.

"There's no such thing."

Shino sighed. What was with the previous generation and their resting ability to act like they're significantly cooler than any other generation without realizing that they were, in fact, very much _not_ cool? The transparency bordered on the comical.

"Come on, tell me what's going on. Is everything okay with you?"

Shibi turned around after he finished and dried his hands. "Everything is alright with me."

"I am not convinced." Shino surrounded the table and stepped closer to his father. "I know what I feel and I feel like you're uncomfortable around me. Tell me what I did."

Shibi, who was just as tall as him, now looked more stooping and bend over and Shino started to believe his presence was seriously causing some kind of mental pressure. The silence extended some more and Shino decided to back away in hopes that at least he'll better the situation or his father's state that way, giving him space.

Shino took one of the chairs and waited to see if his father's reaction will turn out any different than before, but he shifted, on his way out of the room, as always. Just before that he stopped, though, turning around with a cough.

"I think I made a mistake, that's all… It has nothing to do with you or your actions. I am just mad at myself and always search peace and quiet to think about it." Shibi spoke out, a little forcefully. "I'm afraid I have created the impression that you're at fault for something, but that's entirely wrong. I just avoid you so that I won't pour my thoughts over you and darken your day."

"Alright." Shino furrowed again. His day? It's been four of those already. "But… you could share your thoughts with me anytime. I won't mind."

"Oh, no. Thank you, but…" A faint smile appeared on Shibi's lips. "Those are battles for me."

"I see."

"Well, I'll go rest in my room if you don't mind."

"Not at all." Shino nodded at him, finally ascertained that it wasn't him that ruined the atmosphere in the house.

It was lighter and better now, once they established the truth (he was convinced that was the truth, even if it was not the _whole_ truth, otherwise he wouldn't have felt the difference in their conversation). He let his father take away and stood up, absently pulling the first drawer of their kitchen counter, the one they used to put newly arrived mail. It was empty so he closed it back, just as slowly.

He mused that the post office had lots of work during the weekends so it was natural that they'd slow down the services. It was only Monday, after all.

* * *

That week was increasingly colder and by the end of it, everyone started commenting on it. Konoha rarely faced such winters and it was, more or less, an inconvenience. Especially when the wind sang as harshly, blowing against the solid stone of their house. It was an unpleasant way to wake up, but at least it was Friday again.

His hopeful spirit brought him up and his hand smoothed against the black matter of his shirt. He was glad she liked that one, he liked it too.

The view outside was slightly despairing, with those stone-grey clouds hanging over, but he didn't mind them. It was Friday. On his usual way to the kitchen that morning he came across his father, which didn't surprise him at all until Shino realized he was calmly eating breakfast and didn't storm out of the room right away. Curious.

Without mentioning anything about it, Shino stepped into the kitchen and his eyes skimmed over the mail drawer, now opened, and then over the usual letters on the table Shibi brought right after he woke up. The latter was eating, not bothering to look at his son's way even once during those silent minutes.

Shino slowly neared the table and his quick eye scanned over the letters… and found nothing of what he searched for. He tilted his head a bit, then he looked up to his father. The seconds passed and Shibi suddenly left his fork on the table and took a breath, facing him.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. There will be a gathering of our clan somewhere in the next weeks. I have decided we need to establish our next clan leader through a vote and put it on paper. The elders are with me on this."

Shibi stood up and went straight to Shino, who was half-expecting to wake up from a dream. He had this feeling, that something very odd was happening with him, but he couldn't quite put a finger on it. Something horrifying that moved at his periphery, like a shadow, but he couldn't quite catch it.

"Father, are you hiding letters from me?"

Shibi was confused for a moment, looking back at the letters on the table.

"Why would I hide letters, Shino? I don't need any."

The confusion and sincerity in Shibi's voice were what Shino feared most. Somewhere, deep and dark within the cavities of his heart, he hoped his father did play games and hide letters, but he clearly wasn't. He wasn't hiding any letters.

 _I'm sure she's busy._

The dreadful tension in him relaxed quickly after the reminder and he focused on his father again, realizing that he's gripped both his arms and was looking at him with the distinct look of pride on his face.

"Son, I am positive you are the right choice for this clan. I am not one to beat around the bush so I'll be honest with you. Your indecision when it comes to some things had most of our clan members question their previous conclusions, but after… after some events," Shibi paused, patting him heartily, "there wasn't any doubt that you need to take that position after I am no longer able to be at it. Do you have any objections?"

"Against your honesty or against your decision?"

Shibi backed away a little, seemingly frightened by the indifference in the question.

"I don't mind at all, father." Shino hurried to calm him down because the suspense was only going to stress him out.

"Are you glad?" Shibi insisted.

"I guess I am." Shino nodded, leaving his father to babble after his reply with an unusually uplifted tone.

Clearly, _one of them_ was glad. Shino wasn't quite feeling happy about taking such a huge responsibility on his shoulders. Nevertheless, it was nice knowing his clan trusted him again. He let his father speak as he went on with eating breakfast. His class had a test today and he hoped they wouldn't cheat as much as the last time.

* * *

His phone rang out loudly and he narrowed eyes at the shrillness, harsh against his sensible ears. Reaching, as he was just now fully ready to fall asleep and tired to his bones, he picked up without looking at the screen and let out a deep sigh.

"Yes?"

 _"Shino?"_

He raised a brow. Sakura?

 _"Sorry, did I wake you up? It's kind of late."_ Her voice came slow and quiet, and he could tell she was worried.

"Not really. What's going on?"

 _"I, uh…"_ Sakura chuckled nervously. _"This is gonna sound weird... ok. So, uhm, my daughter made me call you."_

Shino furrowed at the ceiling, unsure how to respond to this information. Sakura, on the other side, perhaps expected a reaction of some kind because she opened a long pause, breathing into the speaker rhythmically.

"And what is the reason your child is so concerned with me?" Shino couldn't apply more surprise to his tired voice even if he wanted to.

 _"The reason is that after five minutes of teaching you've let them do whatever they want till the end of the class today, while you kept staring at one point."_

"I thought they'd appreciate my liberal ways."

 _"She said you told them to write down it's Tuesday in their notebooks... at the beginning of the class."_

"Yes, what about it?"

 _"Today's not Tuesday."_

The silence extended a little more before he sighed again.

"I have to sleep, Sakura. Thank you for calling, I am grateful to you and your daughter for the concern." He paused again, but Sakura said nothing. "Good night."

* * *

He rushed into the office and then time stopped, he leaned back and blinked. His consciousness was in a bit of a whirl for a second and he took a breath, trying his best to get to the reason why his heart was beating like that. Nothing has changed from all those routine visits – from home to school, from school to... the Hokage's office?

Shino turned around in wonder. The Hokage's office? He was in the Academy just now, thinking how Naruto told him he wished to have a meeting with him.

"Anyway," He heard a familiar male voice drawl and his attention was back on the desk, where Naruto was sitting and Shikamaru was standing half-turned, giving him that look of mixed confusion and uncertainty he has always given him since they were little.

"Something wrong, Shino?" Naruto huffed a forced laugh.

They appeared slightly alarmed at his behavior, but it didn't occur to him to respond in any way (and maybe it should've because they waited patiently for a few long minutes in vain) and so Shikamaru decided to bid the Hokage farewell and nod him goodbye on his way out. Probably a wise decision.

It was troubling, he knew it was, but if that was genjutsu of some kind a lot of people would've noticed it by now. Well, Sarada did notice something, but she was just speculating his methods. His state of mind was completely the same, his moods were the same, and everything in him was the same. Only time wasn't. Time somehow… flew differently.

"Alright, then," Naruto announced with a raise of his brow. "Not gonna push you. I know something about people that don't like talking much, heh. Sasuke's got nothing on you, though." He paused, smiling to himself. "He's moody, but I know his style. Yours is something different entirely."

"Sorry." Shino suddenly said and Naruto flinched a little.

Then he grinned, seemingly amused by the whole situation.

"You sure you're ok?"

"I'm good."

"Great." Naruto sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I wanted to discuss the school reforms with you, I'm sure you've heard there is some sort of improvement many villages have tried to pass in the school system, the schedules, new modules and projects. Things like that."

Shino folded hands, sinking in thought.

"Yeah, I know." Naruto furrowed. "I don't like that either. I want Konoha's children to have our education and go through the same because I know it's good."

"My thoughts concur with yours."

"I feared you'll say that." Naruto stood up and searched one of the piles on his desk, quickly finding it and practically tossing it into Shino's hands. "Here."

If Shino was reading correctly, on one of the last meetings the Council has decided that _times change_ and not only the people must abide by that fact, but the institutions that they work and live in. There was a ton of paragraphs around the subject as he assured, leafing through the file, and then a list of possible innovations in what they pointed as abovementioned _institutions._

One of those was, of course, the school and Shino couldn't help but furrow himself at the sight of the new ideas that were suggested in the paper. He listened to Naruto absently as the latter explained that Shikamaru was there to tell him the Union's gathering opened the question of incorporating new methods and technology in people's lives and whether it's going to help or harm them. The fact that the Union's gatherings are mainly constituted by members of Shikamaru's age and older didn't help much.

Most are frightened by technology, some think it's something like a betrayal toward tradition. Others aren't certain about it and abstain from giving an opinion. All in all, the nations want a change, but they aren't willing to make it everyone by themselves. They want a joint decision and a joint effort.

"I usually disagree with change." Shino handed back the file to Naruto. "And if you want my opinion on the matter, I disagree with this as well."

"Are you sure…? I mean, you're the exams' proctor for a lot of years now." Naruto passed a hand over his hair. "Your opinion really matters since you know how things go in the Academy very well."

"The next generation is labile and prone to seeking ways to escape the problem rather than facing it. Those are my observations. They don't need gadgets to help ease their path, they need a stronger spirit." Shino stopped for a second, pondering. Then his eyes raised up to Naruto. "You didn't become the Hero of the Hidden Leaf with the help of gadgets. Neither did you need technology to do that."

Naruto smiled at him, then a small blush made him avert.

"Well, those truly were different times. I don't know…"

"It was the same battle hundreds of years ago, I am sure, and it is the same today. They have to learn to find everything they need within themselves, to win."

Naruto laughed.

"Man, you make me wanna go back to school."

"It's admission free, you can come someday."

Naruto coughed, already choking on his laughter.

"Sure. Maybe in twenty years when I finally retire and have time. And I'll still be a poor student."

Shino got distracted by the newly-arrived snowflakes that he noticed have started to fall once again behind the desk's window and he sank in their beauty for a while, unsure whether Naruto has spoken to him more or not. It was really cold these days. Really, really cold. He was feeling it in his bones. Winter was his least favorite season, but it was beautiful, he could admit that.

"Did they stop the mail delivery from other villages because of the bad weather?"

"What?" Naruto asked, in bewilderment.

Shino had the feeling he's been talking to him just now and that question came like a lightning bolt and out of nowhere.

"The mail delivery. Is it postponed because of the weather?" Shino turned to Naruto who was just as puzzled as he sounded.

"No. If it was, I would've known." Naruto shrugged. "Why?"

 _No?_ What did he mean _no?_ He couldn't suspect his father, it just wasn't him and he knew it. It was contradictory to all the things he said, all that warmth he showed to her. The letters… It was _his_ idea in the first place. It wasn't him. It wasn't the mail. So it was just…

The daze was subtle and crawling through him like a viscous fog in his veins and he didn't quite capture it before Naruto found himself next to him, holding his arms to steady him.

"Hey," Naruto paled with worry. "Shino?"

"Yes?"

The strange sensation had passed just as quickly as it pounced on him and he stepped away from Naruto, relieved that the, thankfully, solid sound of his own voice was intact.

"You're being weird."

"No, I'm not." Shino refuted, faster than he wanted to, so he hurried to add, "I am tired, that's it."

Naruto eyed him and Shino recognized the expression on his features as bordering on exasperation, but he surely knew there was no point in arguing or questioning anything so he spent a few silent minutes pouting at him and probably fighting an inner battle.

"I should probably go," Shino announced, in hopes to bring an end to this whole inconvenient encounter.

"Yeah, you probably have to, if you're so tired and all," Naruto's eyes scanned him from head to toe and Shino didn't fail to notice the tint of causticity. "Ah," He raised his intonation before Shino could turn away, "I heard there will be an Aburame clan meeting soon. Establishing a new head?"

"Correct."

"You're gonna report to me what you've guys decided, right? We keep an archive with all the important things that have been happening in Konoha. You know, the formalities... Trust me, no one likes that," Naruto swallowed, his voice lowering for a moment as he seemingly recollected a memory. "You don't know how much it cost me to win Hyuga's trust. And I'm married to one. But… yeah."

"Undoubtedly, I will come to you to let you know of the details after that meeting."

"That'd be great." Naruto puffed his cheeks and returned to his chair. "You're free to go."

Shino could feel his gaze on his back as he finally made his way out of the office.

* * *

"I feel like you are deeply bothered about something. You can ask any question you like, Tatsuma."

"Do you think there is a chance the kidaichū might turn against him again?"

"Well," Shibi made a pause, but it was something like a hitch in his breath. "I think you should ask him directly. He's present, after all." Then another pause. "Shino?"

The slight touch over the layered fabric was strange and foreign before the reality snapped with the taking of his breath. It felt painful, to his great surprise, to take a breath as if he's been holding it for hours. His eyes skimmed over the full room of rough faces, most of which had their eyes on him in expectancy.

Wide room, with walls of heavy stone and tapestries of the clan's symbol. The chilliness was only broken by the faint scatter of the filigree lattice over the gas-lamps over their heads. Aburame didn't usually use light to see each other because they didn't really need it, but as a convenient way to improve the gloomy appearance of the place.

Shino didn't think any light would make this place feel more amicable. In fact, it had the charm of a confinement and all he could do was stand up, fix his kimono and murmur an apology before stepping away.

 _How is this possible?_

He stepped out in the corridor and walked down indefinitely. Everyone was in the hall so he had no chance to meet anyone. His heart was racing with the dire flashing of his thoughts, one after another. A relentless chase of thoughts, each less merciful than the last one.

 _I wasn't here._

Shino found a door and slowly stepped out in the cold and the wind moaned distantly, brushing against the little skin he had revealed. Night had fallen over the village and the lamps shone in a bright yellow, the streets were quiet and lonesome.

 _The sun was up in the sky just now._

The Council was supposed to be on a Sunday. Last time he was aware of the day they told him there's a week or so until the clan gathering. It was Sunday, positively, but which Sunday?

A shiver ran down his spine.

He looked down at his hands, the idea whirling in his mind disturbing him much more than the fact that the whole clan was waiting for him to return. The approaching steps came closer and closer behind him and he turned around to meet the newcomer, still with a non-existent apology.

Shibi arrived at the threshold and stopped there for a prolonged second, clearly in confusion. Then his brows wrinkled together, he stepped closer to his son as if to eye him better.

"Your breaths are quick and shallow, but I cannot find any logical reason why they are so. You've been on meetings like this before all your life and I believed this one won't bother you more than usual." Shibi spoke his words slowly and thoughtfully. "That they're asking questions doesn't mean they won't choose you. Trust me, they are unanimous about their decision."

"It's not their decision that's bothering me, father."

"Then what is it? I am surprised you use that word." Shibi slowed down. "You are not easily bothered."

"I…" Shino cut his own sentence, looking away. His concerns were going to be laughable in the eyes of his father. In anyone's eyes, actually. The worst thing he could do was expose a weakness of his now, at this day and time, when the clan made one of their most important decisions. And when his father was finally happy with him, when he was… proud.

It couldn't be his bugs, that wasn't their doing. But whatever it was, first, he didn't know the feeling, second, it was highly unpleasant, and third… he seemed to be missing fragments of time. Significant fragments. It all just clustered wrongly, like random pieces of information that he couldn't arrange. Day, night, his body was tired, then his mind blank. Different scenes, different people.

"… just needed to take a break. I am not used to all this." Shino finished, applying a little more of his carefree intonation. "Discussion of me, that is. You were the centre of the attention all the other times."

"Yes, but your time has come now." Shibi smiled a little, then leaned into him. "Don't tell anyone, but that whole meeting was useless. The elders already told me that they chose you as the next head of the clan days ago."

"This is," Shino managed to smile back at him, even though he didn't really felt like it. If he didn't count the enormous responsibility, it was actually good news and he appreciated it, "good to hear."

"Let's go back." Shibi nodded and walked back through the door, leaving Shino to ponder over this new information for a moment. Then he followed, reaching for the door handle and pulling it back, expecting to hear the click… but it never came.

"Hey, how long do you plan to stare at that handle?" Naruto's voice came from behind him and he turned around sharply, his back pressing against the door and his pulse loud in his chest.

 _No… it can't be. It just can't be._

"Man, you're scaring me." Naruto stood up from his chair, in his usual Hokage attire and an uncharacteristic worry on his face. He reached for him, to show him that he's not a threat as he carefully made a step to him, then another. "You're… uh, white. Like, whiter than your usual white."

Shino glanced down to his hands again and this time they were shaking. He hid them behind his back quickly and looked around the office, in an attempt to find any proof that was real and not a dream or a figment of his mind… or at least what day it was. The light was faint behind the window, so it was maybe a late afternoon. Naruto came closer, swallowing down.

 _She promised._

"Is it Friday? Tell me it's Friday." Shino uttered, then came off the door. "You wanted to know if I'm the next head of the Aburame clan. Yes, I am. Do you know what I think about that? What I really think? That's a spectacular mistake. Because they don't know me, they don't know what I am, what I can become. They'll never know."

 _Only one knew._

It was Naruto's turn to step back as Shino reversed their roles, being the one headed for Naruto instead.

"Shino, calm down."

"I am the head of the clan now, write it down."

Naruto's expression twisted into general concern as he met the desk and leaned back, seemingly uncomfortable by Shino's impending closeness. "O-Okay. Just calm down."

"I'm calm."

 _Help me._

A confused smile twitched on Naruto's lips, after a breathy laugh. His body shifted awkwardly at the realization that Shino was mildly looming over him right now.

"You wanna step back a little and tell me what's going on?"

Shino eyed him from head to toe and obeyed, backing away, but the motion slightly differed from his calculations and he nearly lost balance if it wasn't Naruto to grab him.

"You are going straight to Sakura. And if you refuse, I'll punch you in the face." Naruto released him with a scowl. "I don't care how calm you are. You're being weird for weeks now."

"I don't need Sakura, I'm fine." The words quivered unnaturally with the air he let out and he regretted trying to fight back verbally because his voice betrayed him and only convinced Naruto that he's got a point. Weeks? How many weeks?

"Like hell you are," Naruto grumbled. "Can't even stand on your feet."

 _She carved my heart out._

Shino turned around and hurried to leave, of course, willing to obey Naruto and indulge his wish because he was the Hokage and his friend as well. The punching in the face didn't really sound appealing either. It was just easier to go to the hospital and be done with it. Now that he thought about it, maybe Sakura would have any idea what's gotten into him so it wasn't a bad idea at all.

"What did you say?" Naruto asked, the almost-anger on his features switched by a shot of astonishment.

Shino froze, half-out of the office, and his stomach tumbled unpleasantly. "I said I have to leave now." He shut the door before Naruto could continue the conversation any further.

Shino left the Hokage residence and tried to ignore the dry wind that lashed down the streets of Konoha like never before. It was so very strange to him that it could become as freezing in this village. He had always remembered winters as mild and maybe nipping, but never harsh like that. Did times change or was it him?

His bugs have never loved coldness, for one, but he's never felt discomfort being in the cold. Not until now. Something was not right.

As he found the Hospital after a long fight through the icy winds, Shino finally stepped into the lobby and was relieved by the cloud of warmth he was met with. Just for a second, though. Then the intrusive disinfectant tinge in the air reminded him that he highly disliked that place as a whole.

Luckily, he spotted the only pink-haired woman around right away, with her back to him and filling up files and at the information desk. She roamed her white overall for something, brows furrowed, and then scolded the man on the other side. Sakura puffed her cheeks and her gaze shifted, perhaps with the creeping feeling of someone observing you, and her eyes wrinkled with a wide smile at the side of him.

Pushing back the files to the man, she leaned in to tell him something and dashed directly to Shino.

"Hey!" She greeted, stepping closer to pass her hand over his arm briefly.

It was very sweet of her, but he knew why she did it. He's heard her talk about it before, she talks about that occasionally. The skin contact is usually meant to make people feel less nervous. And that disinfectant in the air definitely made people ten times more nervous when they crossed that front door.

Sweet, nevertheless.

"Naruto wants you to check if I'm fine even though I'm fine." He decided to get straight to the point, seeing that she waited for him to respond in some way to her greeting.

"Yeah," Sakura laughed. "I got his message. Come with me."

Shino followed her through a few corridors and they stopped once - Sakura asked a nurse of a free room she could use for a brief examination because her office is currently a mess from all the rearrangement of the patients' files. They got in a small, fairly bright room, at last (which Sakura took care of by closing the curtains for him).

"Let me hear your heartbeat. Sit down on the bed, please." Sakura put on her stethoscope and waited for him to remove his shirt.

The specific black polymer fabric underneath was tightly stuck to him like a slick second skin and he wondered whether he had to remove that too, but she saw that he was reluctant and assured him it's not gonna be a problem as long as it's not thick and doesn't deafen the sounds.

"It's extremely thin."

"Even if it wasn't," Sakura smiled, putting the stethoscope on his chest, "we both know you wouldn't have stripped it. I spent enough time with your dad and he was one hell of a patient. Now, just breathe normally."

The thought amused him if he had to be honest. Aburame weren't like any other clan and that included their whims and pretentiousness. They were quite frail, actually, in a lot of spheres and that fight for survival and balance for the right conditions for their existence maybe justified that pretentiousness. Not too cold, not too warm, not too bright, not too noisy, not too dry. The list just had no end.

"Hmm," Sakura sighed, "Your heart seems fine. I don't hear anything unusual."

Shino hoped the emphasized, dramatic raise of his head to hers would tell her all the words that rang out in his head. He warned everyone about it and he turned out fine, just as he had predicted.

"My daughter told me you're absent-minded for unusually long periods of time and she found it weird." Sakura backed away, pulling the stethoscope back on her neck. "Then Naruto told me you've been distracted as well. Is that all true?"

"In a way," Shino replied quietly. "When did Sarada first notice that?"

"Uh, I don't know. Five, six weeks... something like that."

Sakura took a breath and then asked him to lay down and try to hear if there's any difference. Her words hid some kind of confusion and he couldn't help but ask, curious.

"What is it?"

Sakura watched him lie down thoughtfully, biting her lip.

"Nothing, just… I wonder why your father hasn't mentioned anything about your condition. He is the one who's closest to you and living with you. All the more, I believed the two of us became friends…"

Her thought received no comment and she put on the stethoscope again, listening in the silence as he breathed and traced the dark lines over his head the shadows created.

"The beds are comfortable," Shino noted, his eyes back on Sakura, seeing that she had wonder written on her face as she backed away for the second time.

She chuckled.

"Yeah, we try to at least assure the comfort of all the ones that have the misfortune to end up here." She made a pause, then breathed out heavily. "Shino, there's nothing wrong with you, at first sight, I think the problem is not in your body. Maybe you're more tired than usual? Does the school cause you trouble?"

Shino huffed. He wasn't more tired than usual so he shook his head.

"Is there any word from-"

"Can I have a glass of water, please?" Shino severed through, masterfully, and she blinked at the suddenness of his question. "I feel dizzy."

Sakura's eyes acquired a little more cautious, alarmed look. "Of… of course," She nodded, backing away with a forced smile. "Right away. Don't move."

Shino took a deep breath.

"I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

"Sorry for the delay, everyone just wants things from me and I can't possibly make a step without nurses and personnel calling me." Sakura murmured, on her way to his bed and handed him the glass, but he didn't move. "Shino?" She raised her voice, slowly leaving the glass aside. "Shino, do you hear me?"

Her fingers slid around his hand to try and wake him up with a squeeze, but he still didn't respond. Her lips were apart, pupils widening.

"Shino!" She called out loudly, pressing her hand against the side of his neck. "What is this…? Shino, wake up!" Her head neared his chest and the panic in her slightly faded at the sound of his even heartbeat. "Oh, no… no." Her hands illuminated with a soft green and with every passing second, the fear in her eyes enlarged. Her techniques were useless because… there was nothing she could heal. No poison, no injury or alteration.

She ran out of the room and called the nurses for help, while she pulled out the phone in her pocket and dialed a familiar number.

"Naruto," Her eyes blurred. "We have a big problem."

* * *

 _A/N: I know people are like, "Please don't break my heart", but that's what I do for a living boo lol Sorry. I love dramatic plots. Also, I know I opened more questions with this chapter instead of answering any. This is something I specifically liked to include in this fanfic since chapter 6 or 7 and the time finally came. I'll explain everything in the next chapter, don't worry._

 _I know I'm cruel and all, but don't be quick to hate me, I plan to post the next chapter next week around the same time. (I'll see how I'll manage with the 8 to 8 lectures at the uni though I've just been going into overdrive those days so please forgive my long periods of absence) (I've got 4 exams within 2 weeks and then 4 more the other month.)_

 _Thanks for reading, though! I love you all, this story actually extended with the extension of the followers so it is only possible because you guys liked it. So thanks. Till next time!_

 _P.S. I think that, if we supposedly imagine Shino in any kind of relationship (as I did in my story) he would be that "either-give-me-100%-of-your-attention-or-don't-give-it-to-me-at-all-needy" type. I don't know why, but I think that'd be so in-character for him._


	14. Vicious Threads

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

 **XIV.**

 **\- Vicious Threads -**

The dancing colors stained on her amber irises as they stilled on an indefinite point in the air, unseeing. She wanted to believe it was the alcohol, but her whole being knew it wasn't. The festive air cheered her up a bit, true, but there was this void of silence that haunted her mind whenever she just stopped whirling and laughing with her friends. The void caught her, distancing her from the present world with a gripping force and she'd sink in, wondering where she went wrong.

Her friend's house was quite modern in comparison to her mother's – it was significantly wider and had this miniscule garden-like backyard that the family had covered with a glass roof and where they used to make all their parties. Since it was the Rinne Festival and everyone was supposed to celebrate and exchange gifts, her friend's family had decided to use the occasion and adorn the space with silvery cords and flickering lanterns. If she had to be honest, she had been in that house numerous times before but never actually got to experience anything as mesmerizing as this.

In her mind, garden parties were a spring notion, but now that she sat on soft, light-colored cushions around the improvised kotatsu tables, covered with pastel tablecloths and looked around in complete awe, she wasn't sure anymore. Honestly, garden parties looked way cooler during winter.

The table was almost empty, with most of the attending babbling around the inner part of the house, where the host was giving away sake and dancing to the pleasant melody coming from the funny-looking VCR across the room. Amaya sighed, gulping down the last drops of her sake cup and leaned back on the soft pillows around her, taking one to hug tight in her arms.

Her eyes skimmed over the rimmed glass roof over and the small mounds of dry snow that covered the edges like lustrous white dust. The lantern flames cast soft reflections onto her features and she smiled a little. Then a shadow passed over her face and her eyes distanced in a haze once again.

 _Was it her fault?_

 _Did she say something that distanced or scared him...?_

 _... or was she fooling herself all along?_

"Hey, stand up and come dance with us, Ay." The round face of her closest friend, Yui, appeared in sight, blocking the view with a pout. "You love dancing, don't try to convince me otherwise."

"I won't." Amaya laughed, sitting up and smoothing the black floral organza dress she wore.

Yui gave her a meaning look before getting on her feet and grabbing Amaya up as well. She placed a cup in her hand and dragged her inside the house. "You need more sake."

"No, I don't." Amaya chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm already dizzy. I planned to go home."

"I'll pretend you didn't say that just now." Yui murmured without caring to look at her, releasing her friend as she searched for the sake pot.

"I'm serious. I hate leaving my mom alone on this holiday and she'd never admit she needs my company." Amaya sighed, pushing the empty cup in Yui's hands insistently and with a sorry smile. "I tried to convince her to come to your party, but she refused."

"Of course she did," Yui furrowed, eyeing the eager guests next to them who appeared to have had too much of the alcoholic beverage she offered already. At least someone was having a good time. "I can't even begin to comprehend your levels of introversion sometimes."

"Don't be mad with me," Amaya begged, touching her arm.

"I'm not." Yui pursed her lips. "But you'll let me send you off to your house."

Amaya chuckled. "Deal."

* * *

The screeching wind didn't allow them to go on lengthy chatting, but Amaya was grateful to the courage and fortitude Yui displayed in the short way to her home. The blizzard has been whirling for too long now, she couldn't even remember when it began. They parted warmly and Amaya stood still, leaning on her front door and followed Yui's retreating form with slight worry.

There was something in the air… she looked up to the sky and narrowed eyes. A strange, different scent. But somewhat familiar. Her shoulder pushed the front door open and hurried to close it with a sigh of relief. The fireplace glowed cozily in the living room, but as Amaya hung her coat on the wall, her eyes didn't find a certain figure on its usual place.

"Mom?" Amaya called out, removing her shoes and stepping inside the house with a raised brow. The cookies next to the armchair looked freshly-made, her mother promised they'd be when she returns from the party. The familiar scent had increased and Amaya walked to the kitchen, where she suspected she'd find her mother. There was a shuffling noise. "Mom, are you-"

"I'm here, dear." Her mother's face emerged from behind the kitchen counter with an unusual paleness and alarm to it, hands up as if to divert the attention to another one in the room and Amaya's eyes fell on it right away. Her figure bent down in a bow of respect instinctively.

"Hey," Naruto greeted inconveniently, "I just met Ahina-san and I gotta tell you, she's the coolest mom ever."

Once Amaya straightened up and when the three of them sank in a continuous silence, she started to feel a little odd. Neither of them moved as she had her eyes locked with Naruto's across the kitchen and waited in anticipation for something to happen, but the more seconds flashed the more she felt a tight clench in her gut. Because she had spent years perfecting her skills and reading through Naruto was the easiest thing in the world.

His baby-blue eyes held hers and he was so wired to keep the perfunctory cheeriness on that she wondered whether he had succeeded to fool her mother.

Her gaze tore away from Naruto's and she went behind the counter to pour some water in a glass, as casually as possible. She knew he wouldn't just stop replying to her letters without a reason, but now… she kind of wished he had done just that. She preferred the lesser evil to whatever Naruto was keeping for himself right now.

"It was very nice meeting you, Lord Seventh, but I think I'll go see the fire before it dies out," Ahina announced quietly and left the room with a bow.

"This is a clone." Amaya sipped from her water and left it back on the counter nervously. "Why a clone?"

Naruto closed the distance between them, glancing at the opened door.

"Amaya," He started up timidly, leaning down to find her blurred eyes. "I'm afraid we have to speak with the Tsuchikage. You need to come back to Konoha as quickly as possible."

Amaya raised her eyes with a nod of agreement. The Hokage wouldn't bother if it wasn't danger of the highest rank or concern that was close to his heart. Either was sure to be heavy on her ears.

"Why me?" Amaya breathed out, looking at him desperately. "What does this has anything to do with me? I've never borne ill will against anyone-"

"Your fault lies in something else entirely." Naruto shook his head. "Sakura has a reason to believe you might be the only hope we have. So please," He stepped to her and took a shallow breath before continuing. "Shino is… uh, h-he's, well… he's dying." The words stumbled with the amount of dread he couldn't stop from slipping through.

Amaya's irises widened in horror and before she could speak or take a breath, Naruto caught her arms and forced her to keep her focus on him. She couldn't believe it and yet… there was something in the air maybe or just something in her bloodstream, something that forestalled this all. She could feel it in the cries of the wind, that he wasn't alright. Every time she came home and there was no letter from him. She just knew it, in her heart.

"How did that happen?" Amaya whispered through clenched teeth. "What are you telling me? Is it a battle-wound?" Her breath hitched with desperation. "My Shino is not," she swallowed the lump of anger that suddenly suffocated her in an unfamiliar way, "weak."

Naruto peered into her eyes for a while as if to check whether she was saying the truth. Amaya wondered why for a single second, but then the pain overwhelmed her and she folded hands and held herself, feeling as it threatened to bend her in two. Her head shook in disagreement and absolute denial.

"My Shino is not weak."

"You are either lying incredibly well or there's something really messed up going on." Naruto furrowed.

"What do you mean by that?" Amaya met his eyes eagerly.

"I will ask this once and I'll decide what to do after I hear your answer," Naruto explained carefully. "I know it's none of my business, but it kinda is because Shino is my friend and he's getting worse by the minute." He made another pause. "Why have you stopped writing to him?"

Amaya's lips parted with astonishment.

"I have sent him letters every week," She exhaled, not trusting her voice. "Without exception."

Naruto raised a brow. "Really?"

"I… swear." Amaya put a hand on her heart, but she didn't have to convince Naruto any further. The sorrowful breaking of her voice spoke enough. "Why did _he_ stop answering me?"

"His father told me there weren't any letters from Iwa in weeks." Naruto scratched his head with confusion. "He said he suspected you've probably lost interest and blamed himself for giving that whole idea with the letters. And that he never had the courage to admit that in front of Shino in fear that he might do something that he shouldn't. I mean, not that your lost interest could be proven in any way, but even kept in secret it did damage." Naruto sighed, leaning on the counter. "I noticed something's wrong with him for a while, but I thought it's just him, you know. He's weird all the time."

Amaya couldn't help the choked laugh that fell off her lips.

"I believe Shibi was at a loss and didn't know what to do. Telling him to leave it, to leave you… would've meant hurting him immensely. Also, Shino is pretty hard to read _and_ pretty dangerous. If he had gotten angry again, Shibi would've felt responsible for it on top of being guilty of inciting your relationship. And trust me, nobody wants any more wars. Especially me. I have plenty of paperwork _already_."

"Apparently, someone does," Amaya commented with a pained expression. "I was told nothing's wrong with the postal services."

"I don't know. That's why I sent a clone here, to see what's going on once and for all. If it's not the postal services or you, then it's someone else. I hoped that The Tsuchikage might help us with that. Moreover, we need her permission to let you come back to Konoha." Naruto came off the counter with a huff. "So we should go to her."

"I'm going to Konoha. Now." Amaya wrested out of his grip and ran to the door, putting her coat on under the surprised look of her mother who stood up from the armchair. _"_ _I don_ _'_ _t care._ _"_

Naruto followed her silently, the worry written clearly on his face.

"But… the roads are blocked with snow and ice, don't they?" Her mother spoke, a concerned wrinkle on her forehead. Her words were more directed to Naruto, perhaps with hopes that he'll find a way to reason with her daughter or stop her from doing something stupid. Ahina was wrong to think anything could stop her.

"I said don't care. I'm going."

"Not before we talk to the Tsuchikage first." Naruto reminded, touching her shoulder mildly.

Amaya furrowed at him, taking a sharp breath before pulling the front door open with a hissing _Fine_ and dashing in the wintry dusk outside _._ Naruto nodded at Ahina and managed a small smile.

"Don't worry, I'll bring her back to you alive and well."

Ahina's eyes darkened a tad and she averted with visible sadness.

"She's not good at dealing with losses, Lord Seventh. But I know that even if you have no equal in strength, still it is not within your power to keep her spirit unbroken… if it's meant to break."

"Well, hope dies last." Naruto shrugged, making Ahina half-smile at him one last time before he left.

* * *

After a short battle with the harsh winds, they found themselves in the Kage Residence, a solid stone structure like every other in the village who did a great job at stopping the cold from sneaking in. Amaya was glad to be Naruto's guide through the village _and_ the Residence since she knew them all too well due to her shinobi duties. And the fact that her frequent missions and the Kage's interest in her both led her into a closer relationship with the Kage and so... she spent lots of time in the place.

Kurotsuchi seemed kind of fond of her and Amaya accepted her fondness in the form of respectful and polite friendship, which was mostly confusing, but not uncomfortable. Amaya considered this all a privilege and an honor, to have won the Tsuchikage's trust. As she climbed the stairs up to her office, listening to the harsh blowing of the wind outside and the strict following of Konoha's Hokage behind her back, she thought… she's forgotten how well life had turned out for her.

Until those Kamizuru zealots didn't take away her mother that day, of course. Destroying every bit of trust anyone has ever had in her.

She discarded the thought quickly and exchanged it for another. What happened with those letters? Poor Shibi, he must've thought she has stopped writing and had discarded both him and his son abruptly and without any explanation whatsoever. She wondered what his opinion of her was by now. And Shino… he's been waiting for those letters every week and not receiving any must've broken in his heart. What did he think of her? And what happened to him?

 _Dying?_

A shiver ran down her spine, the panic invading her mind. It sounded so unreal and fantastic to her, to imagine him in such a helpless state. She had the strange feeling of being the last blow against the thin veil of tolerance he had constructed between himself and the rest of the world and its constant blows on him.

Naruto reached for the office door when they finally stopped, in an attempt to knock, but it was opened before that and he practically punched the person on the other side before any of them could see their face. Amaya breathed out a chuckle when Naruto quickly started apologizing.

" _Who do you think you are-_ " It was a brown-haired man who opened the door and fell into a fit of anger, but then Amaya stepped up with a sorry smile on her face, pulling Naruto more into the light of the room, making him freeze.

"Kontsuchi, that's… The Seventh Fire Shadow." Amaya announced, with a comical undertone, because she could practically see the color on Kontsuchi's face disappear. Instead, it went to Naruto's face as he blushed humbly. "You wouldn't want to pick a fight, I presume."

"Not at all," Kontsuchi bowed down respectfully. "My deepest apologies, the Kage is a bee user and she senses when someone is approaching from afar. Welcome to Iwagakure."

"What a sudden appearance, Nanadaime." At the sound of the well-known female voice, the three of them turned around to see the Tsuchikage getting off the chair and nearing. Her brown eyes narrowed for a moment, then she gestured Kontsuchi to leave them in private, which he obeyed immediately. "Late in the afternoon, on such a terrible blizzard. It must be something of crucial importance."

Naruto took a breath, visibly morphing into his most ingratiating form, but Amaya cut him off before he could even start talking.

"I need to go back to Konoha. It's urgent."

"I think everyone agreed you'd never go back there," Kurotsuchi replied calmly, eyes curiously flashing to Naruto.

"We have a problem and she might help us fix it." He said, at last, and grinned his most charming grin.

The Kage thought a little, her eyes bouncing from the one to the other, then she slowly turned around and headed back to her desk. "I am guessing this problem has got the shape of a certain Aburame."

"Well." Naruto looked at Amaya and she saw in his eyes that he broke the act and decided to go for the truth. "Yeah. We'll need your permission to let her come with me. You must be aware of Uchiha Sakura, surely, and her opinion on the matter was strong. I trust she wouldn't send me with such a request if it wasn't crucial. That _certain Aburame_ is not well for a few days and is getting worse."

"I guessed that too."

Kurotsuchi sat on her chair with some kind of guilt on her face, eyes down on the sheets of paper. Amaya and Naruto exchanged glances of confusion.

" _Excuse me?_ _"_ Amaya asked, the carefully bridled hysteria threatening to let loose inside her, her bees already coiling her chakra, readying for battle. Naruto stepped to her and his hand pushed her arm back lightly, before stepping almost in front of her.

"Care to explain what that means, Tsuchikage?" Naruto demanded, in his most calm tone.

Kurotsuchi removed her Kage hat and placed it slowly on her desk before opening a small shelf in it, her hand pulling a bundle of more than half a dozen letters, tied with a knot. She left them on the desk's surface and swallowed, facing Naruto. Amaya's heart palpitated fast and she could feel her blood quaking in her veins, leaving her with a mixture of bewilderment, anger, and dread.

Feet dragging her further, she stopped in front of the desk and took a good look at the letters, recognizing them right away.

Naruto came closer again, perhaps in fear that she'll do something stupid, but her mind was just blank for one long, long minute filled only with her heavy breathing and the moaning of the icy wind outside. Then there was this wave of tiredness that overwhelmed her, a lump in her throat that suffocated all the anger and replaced it with tangible heartache. So tangible that she felt shortness of breath and needed to lean on the desk for a moment before regaining her balance again.

"Do you know what you've done to him?" She growled, turning to look at the Tsuchikage. "To me…? _Huh?!_ " Friendship? What friendship did she even try to accomplish? Her friendship was worth nothing now. And whatever excuses was she going to justify that deed with, it wasn't going to be enough.

Kurotsuchi seemed paler and worried to her bones, remorseful even, to some extent and she fought to find the right words before taking a breath and pushing them out of her.

"I admit I hid your letters. I sent an entrusted person of mine to retrieve your letters before they're sent away to Konohagakure. I did this, thinking about how to protect my people." She started, the words echoing firmly in comparison to Amaya's unstable ones. When all she received was Amaya's silent glaring, she decided it's safe to continue, "You don't know what he wants… or what his intentions are. You can't possibly tell me you are absolutely certain of his innocence and that it is fully unquestionable."

"Yes, I can." Amaya leaned on the desk with her hands, leaning to the Kage.

"But you'll never be able to prove it. Don't tell me Aburame don't have any interest at all, in wiping us out. Those sect idiots only reminded them why that'd be a good idea." Kurotsuchi looked at Naruto. "I don't think we should be naïve and risk the peace we fought hard to establish and keep for so many years now with allowing seditious activities, isn't that right, Hokage?"

" _Seditious activities?"_ Amaya snapped with disbelief. "We were talking-" Her voice did a tumble and she silenced, averting her gaze. It wasn't the right way to shout, but she hadn't felt so upset in a long time. She went on, quietly, "…about tea and about the weather. Nobody wants to fight anyone, Tsuchikage. If you had opened those letters, you would've seen it."

"I tried to protect you, Amaya. You should be grateful, knowing what this closeness brought to both Konoha and Iwa."

"No, _you_ should be grateful that I won't tell anyone what you've done," Amaya explained calmly, taking a step back with. "You destroyed two lives. And I don't even hate you, because if he dies… it's on both of us."

"I will always think for the good of this village and you know it. I can't be responsible for other villages, other clans or other people." The Tsuchikage appeared frustrated a little offended by Amaya's words but overall content with the situation. Perhaps she's expected worse. Her glance to Naruto assured her he felt the same, even though he was still surprised by this new revelation. "All the more, I am not really sure still, if it's wise for you to go back to that clan. No offense to your governing skills, venerable Hokage, but Aburame are the incarnation of unpredictable."

"My dear Tsuchikage, trust me." Naruto intervened with a raise of his hand. "No belligerent intentions hide behind this whole situation. Just… the opposite, in fact."

"I don't need anyone's permission to leave the village, Lord Seventh. I am done here." Amaya leaned to Naruto, with her breaths a bit ragged, before dashing outside the office and sliding down the dusky stone corridor.

Whatever those two talked about after she left, she couldn't hear even if she forced herself to – the terrible gale sang harshly outside and intertwined with the sadness that gushed from her eyes. How convenient did everyone find this continuous fate-crossing she experienced with Shino that the world turned and turned and every time it found a comfortable position it was either her or Shino ending up hurt or apart?

It had started to feel like some sort of divine punishment or perhaps amusement to roll the dice to their mutual detriment. Because there was something very wrong and inexplicably intolerable, it seems, in the notion of their closeness. As if they were magnets of the same charge and it seemed natural that they wouldn't be together, and if they tried to force it, everything around protested, and crumbled and suffered.

When Amaya stepped out in the cold, she let her tears fall down her face and she sobbed, rent with pain that she didn't want. Her pace never slowed down for she was determined to never stop, whatever it took her. Whatever she had to sacrifice in order to allow the balance of one touch. Just one touch was all she asked for. One touch from him could keep her alive for a century.

The razor gust cut through her face, but she didn't stop, marching against it like she was going to war and her breaths were counted. Because if his were counted, then hers were as well. If whatever gods existed out there hated the idea of their love so much, then she'd have no say in the matter, it was all too clear.

But if there was a chance, a glimpse in which she could tear those vicious threads and bring life to something that could bring positive change, then she'd carry the burden and the pain for as long as she has to.

She was ready for it.

"Amaya!"

She quickly used her sleeve to wipe her tears before he appears next to her, which he truly did, soon after she heard his voice in the distance. Naruto shifted in front of her, making her stop her wild pace in the middle of one desolate street. The lit up lanterns flashed on the coruscating, polished surface of the concrete beneath them and Amaya noticed the fabulous gleam just now. As gorgeous Konoha had been when she couldn't ever remember not falling distracted by the mystic beauty of Iwa's exteriors.

She felt Naruto's eyes on her face as she stared vacantly at the winter scenery and said nothing, her hair carelessly dancing on both sides of her pale features. The hard, crystallized surface underneath browsed a little under Naruto's weight as he stepped closer, took her hand and squeezed it to get her attention.

"It's going to be alright, Amaya." He assured her, with a timid voice.

"You don't know that, ok? You know nothing of insect users." She wearied, with a melancholic tint to her voice. "We see the world differently. We experience... profoundly."

"That's why I came here to take you." Naruto shrugged. "Shino's condition is… something I've never seen before, you're right. Kamizuru might have an explanation, but we have no time for guessing now."

"Yeah, we should go." Amaya nodded faintly, looking back at Naruto.

He furrowed, clearly trying his best to think of a way to lift the spirits. Then he stepped up and wrapped his hands around her. Amaya flinched, overly surprised by his behavior, but then the warmth of his embrace calmed her vastly and she found herself returning the affection, leaning on him with silent gratitude. The Hokage was never one that she felt uncomfortable around for he was always so amicable and warm that it got her wondering why she hasn't asked for his unostentatious cordiality earlier.

"You know, I once heard someone say that great suffering appears only to give way to great joy. So… you shouldn't worry."

"I'll try." Amaya huffed, her lips curving a little.

Then he backed away, looking directly in her eyes.

"Listen, I said _we have no time_ not because we don't have time but because I didn't want to look terrifically uncool admitting that my clone is taking much more chakra from me than I anticipated. Believe me or not, there is a nine-tailed demon laughing at me somewhere right now."

Amaya chuckled. "Let's hurry, then. Before you puff out."

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you very much for reading! Whew, I managed to update in time lol what a surprise for all of us. I actually had a dream where I saw Amaya lying on the ground with that particular floral dress and crying, and I remember hearing her whisper how much she misses Shino. I woke up with this wonder and inspiration. My brain recreated her for me in a dream just as beautifully as I imagined her wow._

 _Maybe I should've warned about the dreadful amounts of angst I put in my fanfics. Sorry. I'll try to update as fast as I can and also thank you very much to all those who recently followed/favorited as well as the ones who leave such kind reviews I don't deserve, you're the main reasons I keep this going! My love for you all is great. I hope I give justice to all original characters and keep my OCs likable._

 _Until next time!_


	15. Will of Stone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

 **XV.**

 **\- Will of Stone -**

She ignored every attempt Naruto made to convince her it was a long journey between his village and hers and _that_ , apparently, had to serve as a reason for them to stop and maybe rest for a while. Amaya wasn't charmed by his suggestions in the least, rushing forward relentlessly in a race with time, with her thoughts just as feverish as they were hours ago, when she left Iwa.

The blizzards became less harsh and nipping the more they waded, deeper and deeper, into the thickets of Takigakure's forest. The northern winds gradually hushed and died out, replacing the howling with an almost ghastly, midnight silence. The trees were bare and the surroundings dead quiet, which unnerved Amaya even more than the cold. Thankfully, the veil of clouds had shifted and thinned out because a faint moonlight sifted through and let both of them see a little more than silhouettes now.

Naruto led the way and she trusted he'll guide her through that endless semi-darkness without any faults because the seconds passed evanescently and she prayed she won't be late. That wish was stained on her mind and she repeated it constantly, to keep herself from going insane. Night had fallen long ago and with it the temperature as well and as she swept and swished through that monotonous scenery of thick murk she wondered whether Naruto was thinking about that meeting in the Kage Residence a few hours ago.

She wondered how he had parted ways with the Tsuchikage, what he had said after she left in such a sharp manner. Certainly, he'd tried to explain his intentions. But she was curious what his judgment was on that whole situation. If she remembered correctly, most of the time during their unfortunate encounter he was quiet and observant.

Amaya never had the time to explain the complicated nature of her relationship with the Kage and guessed Naruto had suspected it wasn't just a shinobi talking to her superior. In any case, he had been more kind and compassionate to her than to the Kage and it got her wondering why, since he had no reasons to be. He interceded for her even back then, when they were in Konoha, even though he didn't know her in the least. Even though he knew of her only as a traitor, a liar and someone who threatened Konoha's peace. Someone who had betrayed and hurt his friend.

Naruto must've felt her eyes on his back because he turned back to look at her as he ran and she hurried to avert, but… he had noticed it and slowed down to a stop at the next tree, forcing her to stop as well.

"We shouldn't be far from The Land of Fire now, there's this smooth passage between the two forests. You'll notice it, the trees are slightly taller and broad-leaved." He announced a little breathily, perhaps feeling as if he had to offer some kind of hope in the form of iron logic or facts to calm her down but she just stared at him and didn't move. The translucent blue of his eyes caught the moonlight and she read the confusion in them easily.

"Can I ask you something?" Her whisper echoed almost naturally in the wintry hollow they were standing amongst.

The answer came rapidly.

"Anything."

"After everything I've done, why do you not hate me?"

Naruto was clearly taken by surprise, by the glimpse of puzzlement on his features after he heard the question, but then he used a moment to think about it before answering. The pause extended a little before he took a breath.

"You have sacrificed everything to keep your mother safe after you've realized you can't negotiate with madmen. And it has hurt you to trample over your principles, but you've done whatever was required because you know a shinobi should protect the ones who cannot protect themselves, suffer in their stead and… endure." He made a pause, then a smile adorned his face. A revering and sage smile. "You carry the Will of Stone within you."

His words transfixed her like nothing ever had before. A sweet pain that made her blood tingle spread warmth all over her body. Her eyes slightly blurred with a strange emotion as she nailed them to the ground and bend low in a bow of respect. It touched her to a depth she didn't know existed in her heart and filled up a strange void she didn't know she has had until now. An aching void of need to be noticed – the sacrifice she made, the obstacles she went through, the regret, the sorrow, the guilt and the pain – all this, remained hidden from everyone's eyes as she believed it will be for a long time, if not forever.

But there he was, the man whom the Nations owed their lives in peace and prosperity to, the descendant of legends and sacred blood, the demon carrier that she heard stories about all her life and thought would be just another hero that people talked about and never got the chance to see or meet in person, always distant and far away. He was standing in front of her with all his humble glory, acknowledging her oblation and affirming her worth in one sentence only. All she could do was bow and remain speechless, certain that no words would express her gratitude better.

His placed his hand on her shoulder and she straightened up. He was bright and hopeful.

"Let's go."

She nodded, calmer than before.

* * *

By the time they were in front of Konoha's gates, it was long past noon on the next day and the sun was soon about to go down. Naruto did convince her to rest a little in small inns during their quick passage not because he wanted to slow them down, but because the way was just too long and he didn't want her to go into overdrive. She had to admit, she has never been one to stay awake for whole nights and was usually always too tired to do so, but that night she felt as if high on adrenaline and she didn't want to stop or rest for more than a few minutes.

In any case, now the fatigue had started to crawl underneath her skin and she rubbed her tired eyes absent-mindedly as Naruto let out a puff at the sight of Konoha, buzzing busily before them. After he asked her whether she knows where the hospital is and she confirmed, he explained to her his real location. Then she nodded and his clone evaporated.

Amaya walked her way past the Gates and a wave of melancholy got to her. There weren't any guards… maybe Konoha celebrated the Festival a couple of days as they did in Iwa. Her feet dragged her through the crowded streets. This wasn't the golden, autumn Konoha she knew, it was the cozy, winter one. The alleys illuminated pleasantly with a great number of decorations and red lanterns, requiring a befitting cheerful mood, which most of the faces she saw and walked by really had. Down the main road, she couldn't help but stop, in the middle, and fight tears as her eyes fell at the Hokage Rock in the distance and her memories spiraled down painfully. Then she shook her head and hurried to the Hospital.

Sakura was already waiting inside, pale and patrolling to and fro when she walked into the lobby with a hurried step. Upon noticing Amaya's presence, Sakura livened up and directly walked to her with a tight hug.

"Oh gods, he's dying, Amaya… I-I am so glad you're here!" Sakura whispered in her ear helplessly before backing away and staring at her in terror. There was something warm about the way she showed her concern and her empathy, she thought as she peered into that pair of weary viridian eyes. Strange, what could _she_ do that the world's greatest medic couldn't?

"What happened?"

Sakura grabbed her and dragged her down the corridor eagerly. "It's not his body. Medicine didn't help him. His heartbeat is slowing down hourly, it's been like that since this morning."

"I don't understand." Amaya was furrowing with worry, murmuring on. "He sounded perfectly fine the last time he wrote to me. Sakura, you've… healed so many people-"

Sakura nailed in place, facing her with a harassed expression and a few silent seconds in which she appeared half-tortured, half uncomfortable.

"I'm afraid Ican't do anything about it."

Amaya swallowed.

"I wouldn't…" Her voice cracked and she just exhaled sharply, looking away from Sakura. "It's some kind of disease you're not aware of, I'm sure. You can still figure it out."

Sakura looked at her continuously and then mouthed quietly, "Come and see for yourself." She ushered her through the well-known hospital corridors and lobbies until they reached a room in the far end and opened the door.

The sight caused an awful tumble in her stomach and a wave of cold shivers down her spine. Shibi was standing next to the occupied hospital bed, with a face full of intent and grief, and her heart spasmed when she sensed the magnitude of his pain, it was like a tsunami wave when she entered and it left her breathless for a second.

"I think we should give her some privacy," Sakura spoke quietly and Shibi looked up, then at Amaya… and stilled his eyes on her.

Amaya wished she could sink into the ground at that very moment. If it wasn't for her, any of this wouldn't have happened. Anyway, despite her guilt, there was no hatred in Shibi now. He looked at her the way he did a while back, when she first met him in that same hospital - with dread and hope, and fear.

The seconds passed with the slow beeping of the heartbeat monitor across her and she felt everyone leave the room and shut it behind her, while she stared and couldn't comprehend what was going on. Her vision blurred by the time she decided to get close and she was already crying when she caught his hand gently and it was cold to the touch. Colder than it has ever been.

Amaya slowly put off her shoes and climbed onto the bed next to him, settling under the blanket and resting her forehead on his temple. She could barely hear him breathe, it was so very quiet. And his skin was so ghastly that it scared her like nothing ever before.

Amaya swallowed, trying her best to overcome the fit she was slowly breaking down into. She needed all the strength she could muster up for this because she was afraid that such a blow… it would bring her down too.

"Why are you doing this to me, Shino?" She whispered in his ear, her hands hugging his arm as if she was readying to fall asleep. "Who allowed you to leave like this? I could never repay you." She hushed, pierced by almost physical pain. It wasn't fair that everything lasted only a short time, it just… didn't happen the way it was supposed to and it killed her. "For all your patience, all your kindness," She forced her voice out, although she was quaking with sadness. " …and all your love."

Then the silence, the heart-rending silence that followed, filled only with the beeping of the machine and her ragged breaths. Her eyes were tightly shut and her body, pressed against his for a full minute of pure agony… then another. And another.

* * *

She wasn't sure when she's stopped crying and fallen asleep, but the next thing she heard was the opening of a door, which startled her awake and she opened her eyes, met with the same heart-wrenching beeping of the heart monitor. It had become even slower and she was about to panic, standing up, when Sakura caught her arm and forced her to look into her eyes.

"You fell asleep for about an hour, it's fine. Your body should rest and it required sleep, that's why I didn't wake you earlier, but… I need to discuss something with you and we're kind of running out of time. Naruto's still here, you know." Sakura sighed, her eyes falling on Shino for a moment. "Shibi went away, I didn't ask where to."

Amaya nodded, slowly getting off the bed and putting her shoes on. Silently, they left the room and found themselves aheap with Naruto, outside in the corridor. Amaya noticed how worried he looked for a moment and how quiet he was. Anyway, she tried to focus on solving the problem with whatever she could. In fact, she had a slight idea of how she could contribute… it occurred to her not until a few minutes ago.

"You know when you have an open wound and the medic-nin just decides to touch, to find out if there's anything broken and you're just stung with the worst pain for a moment, pain that makes you blench?" Sakura's words cascaded quickly out of her mouth, eyes on her.

"I am a shinobi. Unfortunately, I know the situation all too well."

"This is what he did whenever any of us tried confronting him about you." Sakura explained slowly, then put her hands together, "I feel like I need to solve a puzzle and my intuition tells me you are a significant part of it. Please, tell me you know what's happening to him because apparently, Aburame have never seen anything like this before."

"I haven't either," Amaya said and for a second both Naruto and Sakura withered before she continued, hands folding, "but my mother has. Sort of."

"What do you mean?" Naruto furrowed.

"She has heard about a condition like this before and has told me about it, but very long ago and I don't remember much." Amaya narrowed eyes, to try and remember. "This is something extremely rare and only happens on insect users that are particularly symbiotic with their insects. That's why the story that mother told me involves a distant relative of the Aburame. It is something more of an origin legend and she used to tell me a lot of them when I was a little."

"Legend?" Sakura raised a brow. "I know so little about that clan, I'd be glad if any of the clansmen befriend me."

Amaya smiled a little before taking a deep breath.

"Kamizuru origin, not Aburame, which is the weirdest part. So, the story goes like this. A legendary warrior, a shinobi of the Aburame clan known for her extraordinary control and connection with insects, and knowledge of them was beloved by her clan and especially from a young merchant, by the name of Takumi Kamizuru, that lived in the same hamlet as hers. He was madly in love with her but wasn't from the clan. Nevertheless, the shinobi met him one day and soon they decided to marry. The clan, however, didn't like this union and, well… cursed it. The two married anyway, neglecting that, and soon the shinobi was with child."

"I am confused," Naruto announced with visible bemusement.

"I'll explain." Amaya raised her hand. "The day for the child's birth came and the shinobi suffered through a painful birth and the child she gave birth to was still-born. Her grief was so great that she fell into a slumber that no one or nothing could wake her up from." Amaya slowed down to a pause. "The story goes on, but that's the moment that fits the description."

"How does the story go? Tell me." Sakura coerced her, her eyes searching for hers feverishly.

"Well, the father of the child grieves as well and in his crying, he pleads the gods for mercy, something like that. Then something wondrous happens, the baby-boy comes to life. But to keep him from harm and mainly, Aburame's categorical rejection, he takes him away from the hamlet and raises him on his own because he's promised to do so to his wife. That's actually the tale all Kamizuru tell their children because this baby is considered to be the progenitor of all bee users. He had insect-user blood but wasn't allowed to host kikaichu. That's how it goes. Because he grew up in the woods and in wild places, he hosted bees. That's probably just idle talk and the truth is something else entirely, but…"

"Strange." Sakura sighed. "So what you mean to tell me is that Aburame magically fall in a coma when they face a strong emotion like grief?"

"I have a more… plausible explanation, but it's just speculation."

"Doesn't matter."

"Well, there might be a more scientific approach to this condition. A lot of species have this thing called torpor, you might've heard about it."

"No," Naruto replied, with a guilty smile. Sakura was shaking her head. "We don't have any idea when it comes to insects. Usually, we run away from them with screams."

"Yeah, you're right." Amaya puffed out a chuckle. "Alright. This torpor is something like a lethargic state, in which the organism doesn't respond to anything, its temperature lowers and its heartbeat as well. But that's something I've seen in insects only. Never thought an insect-user could be as symbiotic to his insects as to have them reciprocate states of mind. That's why I said I don't know what's really happening."

The three of them remained silent and heavy in thought for a while before Sakura raised her head.

"Hmm, is it possible that insects fall into torpor when threatened or faced with a life-threatening danger? Not grief, or, say, hibernation, or whatever insects usually do during winter?"

Amaya thought a little and then nodded with confusion. "Y-yeah, it's actually more likely than any of the things you said. Why…?"

"Because you stopped writing," Sakura replied right away and in a breathy, quiet tone that got Amaya by surprise.

She laughed.

"This can't be the _only_ reason he's like that. I thought he's… had a," Amaya blinked once, then a second time, then she looked up to Sakura, "a bad day or that his insects are messing with him. I thought that he's caught something… _oh_." The finishing syllable she pronounced distinctly and then a heat wave hit her. She could feel her face redden within seconds. "M-Me? That's why he's shutting down?"

"Yes, you. Or, to be precise, lack of you." Naruto confirmed, sharing a look with Sakura. "Any ideas on how to turn him on again? I mean-" He suddenly flushed, realizing the play of words he's used unintentionally, making Amaya a level more uncomfortable than before. "You know what I'm saying!"

Amaya was feeling a strange mixture of painful sorrow and some kind of warm relief at the same time, but before she could process them, she tried to shake them off and search for a possible way to fix this. If it was her fault for his condition, then she was responsible for it.

"She does." Sakura put a condescending hand on his shoulder. "Now that we've established the reason, we should try to figure out the cure. How to let him know you're here? He's on a very dangerous threshold."

"Ok. I have an idea." Amaya peered into Sakura's eyes. "But I'll need your help."

"Just tell me how crazy it is, from one to ten."

"Pretty crazy."

"I disapprove already." Sakura frowned.

* * *

"Just for the record, I think that's kinda a bad idea," Naruto added in, from the window side of the room.

"If you have better ones, Lord Seventh, feel free to share." Amaya refuted, shaking her head. "If my bee control was better, I would've connected directly to him."

Sakura was in a ready position, one of her palms placed on Shino's chest and the other on Amaya's, as she was now lying next to him on the bed. This was supposed to be a fabricated sort of Chakra Transfer Technique and Sakura fully agreed that they should give it a try. The idea wasn't as simple as she imagined, but it could work.

If not, the chances she'd damage herself were pretty high – Sakura was supposed to mediate Amaya's chakra through herself and pass it on to Shino to try and let him know she was there. It was a funny idea that came to her mind, but it was the only plausible one. She hadn't learned how to effectively project her chakra and didn't think it's something she should try doing on her own.

The problem was, would Shino recognize her chakra? And the projecting, how was she supposed to know when to stop?

"Ready?" Sakura asked and she nodded in return, trying her best to ignore the slow beeping sound that resounded in the space. "Ok, go."

Amaya closed her eyes and channeled her chakra to Sakura, as much as she could, and heard a quiet hiss from her. A few hectic seconds passed, then tingles started spreading over her body, her heartbeat increased. Sakura whispered to her at some time, asking if she's alright, but she insisted. Her chakra flowed and she started feeling drowsy and light-headed, and her tips became numb. She kept going, minutes and minutes, neglecting Sakura's increasing warnings, which soon turned into commands for her to stop.

Well, maybe it was time to reveal her actual intentions. She opened her eyes and found Sakura looking down at her with general concern.

"He is not getting better, if you don't stop this, I'll lose you too!" Her voice was shaky when she glanced at the heart-rate monitor.

"Sakura, I want to ask something of you," Amaya spoke quietly, then faintly smiled, feeling her strength fading by the minute. "Transfer all of it to him. I want to perform Tensei."

"I am _not_ doing Reincarnation techniques between two living people!" Sakura hissed angrily. "This is not how it works."

"Then keep transferring it until he wakes up." Amaya simply replied, holding her friend's eyes for a moment before relaxing back.

"No." Sakura suddenly ceased the technique and backed away, her eyes a little blurry. "I am not sacrificing two people. Suffering for one is enough."

Amaya was already too weak to sit up so she just watched her for a while, her heart breaking for having to take the risk, but she had no choice. She knew she had no choice from the moment she saw him at the Gates.

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I won't be able to live with myself if he's gone and I had a chance."

She averted from Sakura's paling face and placed her hand over Shino's chest, sending her chakra directly to him.

"Your chakra control is poor, _no-!"_ Sakura's yell was lost for a moment, deafening to her ears at one time and dying out at another. It was like a wave caught her and dragged her whole body down, submerging her into the deep.

She lost perception of space and time… everything turned blank. It was dark and hollow, and sad. Mostly sad. Something was gnawing at her, amidst the nothingness she found herself, but she didn't quite remember anymore. She knew it was important and it turned her restless, but she couldn't turn back.

The thick darkness slightly dispersed and shadows started dancing behind her eyelids. Muffled noise reached her ears and she gradually recognized the sounds – the chirping of birds and a low, calm forest buzz. Warmth spread over her body and tingling sensations over her skin… she opened her eyes and the dappled shade of the massive tree crowns surprised her. It smelled like fresh grass.

The contours were strangely muffled and light to her perception, it confused her but didn't bother her. It was a magnificent forest, one she hadn't seen before and it made her want to… explore. She heaved up, noticing that she wore an eerie white dress and her feet were bare. Odd, she had no memory of how she ended up there or how she got there, she only knew that there was something captivating about this forest as if it was not like any other she'd seen. It had an ancient air about it…

Amaya looked around curiously and her eye caught a movement, then a quiet, tender sound, a swish of matter against the wind.

" _Wait,"_ She breathed out, instinctively, at the sight of an indistinctive figure passing her by quickly, and her voice echoed distantly.

The forest was thick and green, and she couldn't quite discern what she saw, but she followed nevertheless, running through the thicket. Deafened light shimmered warmly over the leaves and branches and it gave her an unfamiliar melancholy, the forest resonated with her on some deep, pristine level she couldn't comprehend fully. It ached in her chest with longing, the vastness, the freedom, the life of it.

Her speed didn't seem sufficient and she called out again, as loudly as she could. The figure she chased, it finally stopped, in the distance and she slowed down, her heart beating fast with every step she made. She was filled with wonder when she stepped closer and closer, and the hum of forest noises somehow became sensibly louder. It was a silhouette of a man, likely, and she narrowed eyes, her astonishment growing stronger at the sight of him.

His appearance was unlike anything she had seen and she wished he would face her, to let her see better. He had a long black hair that fell freely and in it were stuck leaves and flowerets, he wore a robe was of a beautiful grey-green. There was a cloud of hoverflies, wasps, and bees around him, which brought a small smile on her face. Despite the wild appearance, there was still something exquisite about him, almost… divine.

" _Who are you?"_ She mouthed, her hand reaching for him, afraid that he'll disappear again.

He slowly turned around and she couldn't help but step back, uncertain why. Maybe his eyes or the strong venerable air around him. His eyes were amber, to her surprise, but something wasn't quite alright with them – they were dim and lighter, and veiled as if he was blind.

 _It couldn't be._

Amaya's eyes widened. She suddenly remembered fragments of her life, images and words she had said and heard. The sadness and the fear swelled in her again, even though they felt so much irrelevant amidst the silence and tranquility of this ancient place. Was she dreaming? Was that why everything was so muffled and estranged to her in a way?

" _I cannot see very well in the light, but I feel your presence. I recognize the scent easily."_ He opened his palm and a couple of bright-colored butterflies alighted on it. Then he stepped closer to her and she held her breath as he offered them to her. _"Why are you so sad, bee-user?"_

A smile appeared on her lips as she took the butterflies with a warm heart. She never imagined the father of all Kamizuru would be as ethereal.

" _I fell in love with an Aburame, but I do not belong to his clan,"_ Amaya whispered, her eyes skimming over the breath-taking butterflies once more.

" _And so did my father,"_ His words resounded strongly and she could see the honor in his eyes. _"But here I am."_

He spoke with such certainty and such power that it gave her… hope. Still, how useful did hope turn in the end? What did she do, in the end, to help fix things? Not as much as she wanted, for sure. Her continuous silence seemingly disturbed her companion because he furrowed, the question written on his face even before he said it.

" _I can tell you come from afar. Is this why you feel so lost?"_

" _Where I come from, Aburame and Kamizuru had waged wars and killed each other. They still do."_ Amaya stepped up, desperately looking into his eyes. _"I don't know what to do."_

He sighed, reaching for his neck and taking down a necklace she didn't see he wore before. Then he gave it to her with a smile of melancholy.

" _But I think you do."_

She looked down to her hand and saw that it was Aburame's clan symbol that hung on the cord. Something stung at the back of her eyes, she nodded at him in gratitude.

" _What if… I am not worthy?"_

" _You are."_ He stepped away, turning his back on her and continuing to walk away from her. _"Wear it with pride."_

Amaya felt the warmth leave her with every step he made further away from her, but she didn't move, squeezing the necklace in her hand. She knew what was coming wasn't pleasant, but it didn't matter because she had to endure it. Her mission was clear.

 _"Wait! Is he here? Tall, dark… gloomy?"_ She asked out loud. Did she succeed? Because if not, she didn't need to wake up. She wouldn't belong anywhere where he wasn't.

 _"Some strange fellow came around not long ago, yes. He left, I'm afraid."_ Came the quick, nonchalant answer and a bright smile bloomed on her face. _"Didn't really want to go back, that one."_ The man stopped again, facing her. _"Stubborn as resin on a trunk. He had this… noble air about him, though. Is he chief or a king of some kind?"_

Amaya looked at him in silence, her eyes flashing curiously. She supposed he did have something noble about him.

 _"Yeah, he is."_ She chuckled as she watched the man retreat, adding in quietly, as a whisper, _"The king of solitude."_

Hope wasn't just a word now, it became reality. Now, she had a reason to return.

* * *

 _A/N: Hey guys! I can't believe I managed to update in between my thousands of exams (only a few left, fortunately), thank you very much for reading! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the kindest of words you're sending me with your reviews, I can't be thankful enough and I truly love you for them!_

 _I decided to go down the ancestral lane in this one because I really wanted Kishimoto to explore the reason why Aburame are one of the noble clans in Konoha. He focused on the Hagoromo bloodline and all that Uchiha/Hyuga stuff was plenty, but I really wanted to give an image to Aburame's progenitors and invented this whole story myself (because I'm desperate lol). I like the idea of a powerful Aburame clan that's existed along with Otsutsuki and also Kamizuru being a circumstantial Aburame branch._

 _Anyway, I'd love to be able to update more often, but it can't be helped, with that much work to do. I do whatever I can. Hope you liked it and until next time!_


	16. Homecoming

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

 **XVI.**

 **\- Homecoming -**

"No, no, no, no, she's not breathing. Take her to the emergency ward immediately and put her on a system!"

Sakura's voice irritated his sensitive hearing and at first, it didn't make sense to him. It was a blur of noises and some kind of an ordeal in the room he was in, he could tell, but then he felt heaviness in his chest. Lifting off slowly, but still a heaviness that obstructed his normal breathing. How long was he asleep? All he could remember was talking with the strangest man, in this bright and… joyful place.

A few minutes later, the noises deafened and he felt strong enough to open his eyes. His glasses were still on, but he was careful because of the dull pulse behind his eyelids. Why was he feeling so exhausted? A quiet groan tore from him at the ever-growing clarity of sensations concerning his body and it was aching like hell.

This room… he was still in the hospital? Sakura said she'll bring him water. He was in hospital clothes and lying down. What day was it? The memories rushed in quickly after and the heart-rate monitor's even signal peaked rapidly.

 _Oh, no._

 _No… not this again._

But something was different… this time.

"Hey! Shino, look at me." The voice came earlier than the image.

Naruto's head loomed over him with a pale and concerned taint to it, but there was a small smile on his lips as well.

"You're back, man. We thought we lost you, but Amaya came."

So it was true, his senses didn't lie to him. She's been there, really there. Unless… his mind was playing tricks on him to compensate and tried to not overrun his systems again. If so, it was all a hallucination. It should be. What else could it be anyway? He looked up to Naruto's eyes and instantly wondered whether he wasn't fabricating lies just to make him feel better.

His heart stopped its wild tag and slowly returned to its downfall.

"She is not here and I can never have her," the words rolled out of him breathily, like a tormented sigh, and he averted his gaze from Naruto.

"She was here and she saved your life, I swear."

Shino turned to look at him with disbelief.

"I can't believe you two, gosh…" Naruto groaned in loud exasperation. "Most dramatic people I've seen after Sasuke." He made a pause, putting a hand on his shoulder. "She's in the emergency ward now, out of chakra 'cause she gave it all to you. Sakura is trying her best to save her."

Shino took a sharp breath. What?

"Uh, yeah… _oh,_ I shouldn't have said that, you are supposed to remain calm and rest." Naruto smacked his forehead. "Yeah, so she's perfectly fine, Sakura's taking care of her, you have nothing to worry-" His words fell in mid-air when he noticed the bed was already empty. "Shino?"

He glanced back to the ajar door and sighed.

* * *

He used the help of the hospital walls to drag further, but he had to be honest with himself. The plan to move as fast through the corridors and rely on his still hurting body for it, all the while using only Amaya's scent to find her sounded pretty cool in his head. And only there. Passing nurses and patients eyed him suspiciously and not once he wondered whether it wasn't a good idea to just stop and ask where the ward is, like normal people did.

Thing is, he didn't feel like having the time for it. After a long struggle, he found the right path and he could see an emergency ward sign in the distance, which was the good news. The bad news was that he was kind of out of breath and also he heard Naruto's voice calling his name and nearing him.

"Shino, stop!"

"I want to see her." He murmured under his breath, trying his best to keep moving, but Naruto appeared in front of him and caught him by the arms.

"They aren't gonna let you go in there, you can't physically stand on your feet as well. What you _can_ do, however, is wait outside, with me."

Shino's heart shrunk at the sight of two more people quickly making their way in the ward and he wished he could be there as well, but deep down he understood that he'd only be in the way if he went in there as well. He had zero knowledge on medicine or medical ninjutsu.

He yielded, letting Naruto guide him to the nearest hospital bench and they sat down, allowing him to take a breath and rest his head in hands. The silence prolonged and he could feel Naruto's eyes burning a hole in him, but neither of them spoke for a long time. Naruto shifted uncomfortably next to him and it was some kind of a forestallment that he'll speak out.

"Uhm… she never stopped writing to you, by the way. The Tsuchikage has been hiding the letters out of fear that you might want to destroy Kamizuru."

Shino relaxed back on the seat without saying a word. He lost his control over the insects once and now everyone thought he wanted war. That was what Uchiha did. Odd thing was, there's been so much history of violence connected with Aburame that he wondered whether that idea of his clan being calm and collected wasn't some sort of a myth.

His clan… Now it was his to rule and govern. It was his, it the fullest meaning of the word, and the whole responsibility for its future and development fell on him. Even though he might've seemed the best choice for everyone, he didn't think he could ever want anything to do with that clan if Amaya didn't make it. In fact, what was the point of anything without her?

"Hey, I'm sure she's fine, Shino. Sakura won't let anything happen, she's grown really fond of her. Question is, are _you_ fine?"

"Yes, I am."

Naruto raised a brow at the rapid answer and the way he had clasped his hands together.

"You were unconscious for a few d-"

"That happens sometimes."

"Can y-

"No."

Naruto grinned at him and then let out a sigh of relief, folding hands on his chest.

"You're fine."

They exchanged no further words, but that kind of made the waiting even more agonizing because he was left to the mercy of his own thoughts and fears. Fortunately, it wasn't long until Sakura showed up through the door and stopped in front of them, first a little stunned to see Shino standing there (he did rush to her as quickly as he could) alive and well, then she glanced at Naruto with a pale and serious face.

There was a knot of uneasiness in his stomach, but he said nothing and patiently waited for Sakura to speak up. And after a few of the longest seconds in his life she did, looking at Naruto.

"You better make sure no one separates those two ever again or else they'll both have to live in a hospital."

Shino took a deep breath and exhaled, preparing himself mentally, before proceeding to surprise Sakura with a hug.

"Thank you, Sakura."

"For a friend, always." She chuckled, patting him on the back. "She asked for you. Go."

He let her go and dashed into the ward, scanning the rushing medics and the rooms of people. There was an open, glass door that led to an extremely quiet recovery facility. Her scent was coming from there and he was certain of it, his feet dragging him in. The silence was welcoming and such a great relief to his ears that he even bothered to close the door behind, to isolate an island of quietude.

There were at least a dozen beds, but only a few were used. The last one on the left, he slowly walked to it and surround it because she was with his back to him, shrunk in a bundle under the sheets. He didn't stop to greet her at all, directly getting under the same sheet as if it was his own. When she felt someone getting in her bed, her eyelids tiredly opened.

Shino saw the whole emotional palette onto her features. Her eyes were blurred and thoughtful as she watched him ensconce next to her, both his hands wrapping around her and pressing her desperately close to him.

The warmth that streamed down his eyes wasn't planned, but he didn't think he could come up with anything to say to her so the tears sufficed and were eloquent enough. Then her body tangled lazily around his and vibrated with a faint chuckle. He backed away, to meet her eyes and their foreheads touched.

" _I'll die without you_ is a figure of speech, Shino." Amaya choked on her tears at the last words, giving him a wry smile.

"I told them I'm fine," he announced dryly. "No one listened. Like every single time I say something. You know, there was one time that I've been talking to Kiba for fifteen minutes about a very important mission and he just asked me to repeat everything after I stopped in the end. Can you imagine the insolence? Naruto is the same, he pretends to care for people and mostly they trust him because everyone thinks he's great and all-"

Amaya laughed, ceasing his flow of words.

"I've been away for a minute and you pour out blame on the whole village again."

"It wasn't _a minute_ ," he snapped, the anger making the amusement disappear from her features and replacing it with sadness.

"I know, dear," her hands glided over his back and stopped on her shoulder blade, caressing calmingly. "They can't drag me away from you anymore." She paused, letting him lean into her and his lips skimming over hers absently. It put a wide smile on her. "Your heart stops when I'm not in the room, would you look at that?"

"I can safely assume that was my insects' doing, not me." Shino backed away, his voice way too prideful than it should be.

"Mm, I don't think so. I think you missed me a lot." She breathed out shakily, the warmth tingling his skin.

"It was my insects' fault."

Amaya bit her lip, hiding in the crook of his neck.

"I think I'm gonna sleep. You should get your insects examined, they seem to be causing you a lot of trouble lately."

Shino couldn't afford to tell her how much her closeness meant to him, but her sarcasm was enough for him to calm down because she was clearly aware of everything that he felt and thought anyway. Even though they had a lot to talk about, he let her sleep and decided he could take a nap as well, finally at ease.

* * *

They spent a few days more in the hospital before Sakura dismissed them. Shibi was happy about Shino's recovery in the first days, but then he became quieter and more thoughtful on the visits. He wasn't exactly himself and when they finally left the hospital together, Shino confronted him about it. Quickly, he shared that The Tsuchikage has traveled to Konoha again, to sort the matters with Aburame once and for all. That's what Naruto told him.

Shino and Amaya exchanged looks before he added that he suggested the meeting to take place in their home.

No one commented on it as they made their way to the house, but Shino couldn't help but feel a little concerned about that meeting. He was the head of the clan now and he suspected The Tsuchikage would have to speak with him, and the thought only was making him feel slightly uneasy. After knowing that she was the one that hid Amaya's letters, he had to force himself to remain impartial and diplomatic. That's what his father and the clan would've wanted.

Naruto called him a few hours later on the same day, to warn him that the Kage has arrived in the village and requested the meeting to happen tonight. It wasn't a great surprise, he thought, considering that Amaya has spent almost a week in Konoha's hospital without giving any news to Iwagakure about her whereabouts or condition.

Opposite to the nervousness that's been whirling inside him, he found that the afternoon was one of the calmest in months. Especially when he had his father's low murmuring and Amaya's occasional chuckling always flowing in the background. He never had the chance to speak with her about the man he saw in his vision and what he talked to him about… but maybe when this fuss was over.

"You should fix the lighting," Amaya's voice came from behind him and he turned around to see her leaning on the threshold with a smirk and a set of fork and a knife. "Like, really fix it. Not like the last time."

He furrowed at her, but she was out of the room before he could reply.

"The dinner's almost ready, I hope the Kages won't be late!"

The furrow on his brow deepened even more.

Why was she so carefree when she was well aware of what was soon about to take place? He understood that she swore to stay with him, but the amounts of certainty on her were a little bit bothersome. She wasn't worried _at all._

* * *

Naruto didn't miss to pass on a meaning, admonishing look at Shino as he stepped into their household, followed by The Tsuchikage and her closest servant, Kontsuchi. He wasn't as concerned as he was the last time The Tsuchikage was in Konoha, Shino could tell, and that was likely because of her own fault in the latest occurrence of circumstances. It was a big tangle of issues, he was aware and he wasn't really sure what the answers were.

He didn't have the time to figure them out yet. On the one side, the political side was intricate and not easy to discuss because Naruto, the current Hokage, was as close a friend as Shino has ever had, and disappointing him again wasn't on his list. Iwagakure wasn't like Suna, though. Iwagakure's people were doubtful, mistrustful and secluded.

It was hard to win their trust and has never shown anything that could raise The Tsuchikage's suspicions. That's why the village was happy to create a friendly bond with Konoha after the War ended. Still, the matters have always been delicate between the two villages and to establish long-lasting peace has been the initial and primal goal of The Tsuchikage, Shino assumed, by sending Amaya.

The ambassador represented a big step in the diplomatic relationships.

On the other side…

Shino and his father led the guest in the now lit up living room, where Amaya was already sitting. She rose on her feet respectfully, but her eyes were on him. A prolonged look of faith that trust that he's longed to see for months.

On the other side, Iwagakure's Kamizuru had a large group of individuals, harsh and hostile, who have been increasing their numbers under the Tsuchikage's nose and plotting massacres and revenge and abducting both civilians and shinobi. That was one dangerous mistake and a sign of poor governing skills. Anyway, Amaya, the main catalyst of that gang's plans has been forced against her principles and… he's had a little time to think about that.

He spent a lot of time judging her for it because he's been against the edge of the blade and didn't have the strength or control to see the other point of view. He realized that if he's been in her place and given her choice, he would've chosen his father. Ideally, he could've informed Naruto, but he had to be honest with himself. In a moment of horror and panic, he would've chosen his father over any oath as well, much to his grievance.

It was true, that love was a weakness. He agreed on it with sadness.

When all of them sat down, a brief moment of silence fell between them. Naruto sighed, his hand gesturing at Shino to start.

"I believe the issues we're facing are multiple-sided, but I'd like to begin with a statement that I'm asking of you to take as the truth and only that." Shino took a breath, fixed on The Tsuchikage. "I have never wanted war nor will I ever want one, not while I am alive and breathing."

Kurotsuchi smiled a little.

"I feel like I have no choice but to believe those words. They come out easily from a man who has a godlike power and can crush my clan like they are mere ants standing in your way. Insects obey you," She paused, thoughtful, "as if you've created them. With all my respect, Shino Aburame, how should I decide anything without fearing you?"

"Trust your senses." Shino reminded. "I know you are tired of bloodshed, as much as I am. We've seen enough violence for a lifetime."

"That is true." The Kage sighed, a furrow on her brows when her eyes passed over Amaya who was now still and silent, observing the conversation. "Listen, before we make any decisions I have things to explain."

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his place, eyes nailed on the ground. He seemed to be restraining a lot of comments that went on his mind. Shibi, on the other hand, stood upright close to the door and appeared much calmer.

"You can speak."

"It was never my intention to bring death upon you. Not when I sent Amaya or tried to shield her from your influence. The first time I had no idea the criminal group was plotting anything against your respectful clan, as you already know, and the second time… well, I saw what you are capable of. I saw that you _can_ be more cunning than those criminals, cleverer, deadlier and faster. I also knew of our clans' history." Kurotsuchi's voice slightly raised and she stopped for a moment.

"When I was in the Academy and decided to separate Amaya from you, I looked at you. I really did. What I saw in you was the decades and centuries of perfected weapons all into one. Suddenly, it was very clear to me that I had to sever all ties with Aburame and perhaps… all ties with Konoha as well."

Naruto raised his sky-blue eyes to her, astonishment on his features.

"You've been thinking about it?"

"Yes. Ever since winter came to Iwa. For a while, I chose to isolate the village from everything concerning Konoha." She admitted, her face a little flushed and voice getting more and more heated up. "I was terrified. I was seeing him every time my mind soothed its fears and dropped its guards. I was seeing all the suffering of my clan under the hand of these merciless people and I kept reminding myself this is another time, another generation. Aburame aren't like this anymore, they're peaceful and quiet. And then there was _you_ ," She emphasized, gesturing at him, "with your fury and… advanced jutsu."

She hushed, her eyes falling to the ground with a vacant look to them.

"You thought that the same blood runs through my veins." Shino helped her finish and she looked up silently. "That I am fully capable of seizing the moment to destroy you."

The Tsuchikage straightened up, hand on her chest.

"Forgive me for not believing Amaya that you were writing to her out of… a fondness of some kind. If anything, she is almost nine years younger than you. I could imagine you thought she's an easy target to manipulate, even though she isn't." The Tsuchikage looked at Amaya, who was just as expressionless as before. "At least she wasn't for the years I have known her and the years she has been loyal as a shinobi and a friend to me. I received information on Kamizuru's abduction and their ultimatum for her, I knew everything. I heard that you've had intentions of hurting her at some point. That was enough for me."

Amaya didn't move a single nerve, replying to her stare fearlessly.

Shino felt a painful sting in his heart at the words. She was right, for everything. He had no idea that betrayal would be the last drop in the dam of his patience and that it could trigger such blinding rage in him, rage he couldn't control and rage that nearly hurt people he cared about. How was he supposed to explain that for all the years of his life, he hasn't done anything like this before? He didn't plan it, didn't like it and the truth was, he was scared of it as much as the others.

He was scared to his bones, of all the pain he went through and had every desire to not do so again. Of the fact that he could lose control over his insects at any time and hurt someone, including himself. Of the way he had to be even more cautious around people now. Scared of the way they looked at him. Scared that what he did won't ever be forgotten or forgiven and it was bound to haunt him for the rest of his life.

"You seem to agree with me, Shino Aburame." The Tsuchikage spoke quietly.

"I do," Shino said, his voice coming out a bit more bitter and curt than he wished it to. "And what do you suggest we do, Tsuchikage?"

She swallowed, her hands slowly intertwining on her lap. The silence fell heavily in the room as they waited for her to gather her thought and speak out. Naruto was at the peak of his uneasiness, his posture tense and his brows together. Whatever he was thinking about, Shino thought, it wasn't anything that he fancied.

"I am offering the following terms." Kurotsuchi swallowed again, eyes on Naruto. "If Konoha wants to have secure connections with Iwagakure, then Amaya shouldn't be at the hands of Aburame. That is the only way I can be calm or certain they won't hurt or use her for their own goals, benevolent or not."

Her words were followed by an uproar of multiple voices at the same time.

"I am not letting you do that." Shibi's low voice echoed menacingly, intertwining with the upset voice of Amaya, who had fallen into a sudden emotional fit and was desperately trying to drag the Tsuchikage's attention and explain that she wasn't going anywhere.

"I strongly object to these terms, Tsuchikage. Nothing of this is fair." Naruto was almost up on his feet, his face now flushed with alarm. "I have always done everything to please you. You cannot ask of me to separate Amaya from Shino when you have seen for yourself that by doing so, we are indirectly killing him. You seemed to have forgotten that."

Kurotsuchi was standing on his feet and ready to protect The Tsuchikage in a half-battle position.

"Enough!" Shino stood up as well, silencing all of the attendings with his command. Kurotsuchi sat down and everyone returned to their previous places with immediate submission. Maybe it was supposed to make him feel nice, but it was just the opposite. Having such loud noises around him was one thing he hated, arguing aimlessly without any constructive conclusions was another. It won't do, he mused. He had to make a decision and make it now. Today.

"I need to think about this," Shino announced, with a little sadness to his tone. "Let's have a break."

"Agreed." The Tsuchikage nodded and before anyone could say anything more, he was outside the room and heading for the one place he knew was going to calm him down.

* * *

The greenhouse was even more beautiful than he remembered and when he stepped in it and found his way to his favorite place on the bench at the very centre. The hospital rooms had nothing on that wintry view, the chillness of the air, the low buzzing on the insects behind the confinements and the infinite tranquillity of the snowflakes that fell silently on open glass panels over his head. The silence was magical and healing to his aching ears.

Shino was lost in contemplation and for a while he was just submerged in the quietude, eyes closed, glad to be home after so many days away. Before his thought could shift onto the more pressing matters, he heard the door creaking open a little and then closing somewhere behind him. The newcomer had the clear intentions to be unobtrusive, but it was an Aburame household anyway. As sound-proof as the place was built, he still had the clairvoyance of an insect-user.

"Thanks for leaving the door unlocked for me." Her whisper made him open his eyes and look at her.

She was deeply melancholic and it didn't suit her. Every time he glanced at her, he expected that radiant smile and the ringing laughter that lit up the room. In the days he spent in the hospital with her, they talked about all the things they've missed out during those months, down to every useless detail, and it brought such endless joy to him to listen to her and hold her close that just imagining not doing it cause that dull, awful pain in his chest again.

They talked about lots of things, but he never gathered the courage to share with her what he saw while he was unconscious. What that man told him. He had been thinking about it for days and it didn't give him peace of mind… and then it hit him.

Amaya was looking at him with strained pain on her features and general confusion switched it when his lips parted open at the realization. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't know when or how he was supposed to do it. All the answers came to him at that very moment, like an insight, and he took a sharp breath.

"Shino-" She spoke at the same time he tried speaking and they both stopped. Then she smiled. "You first."

"I had to tell you something, but I never told you and I think I should tell you now. But it's really important so I think you should speak first."

Amaya wasn't sure whether she had to laugh or not, putting a lock of hair behind her ear. Her lips curved into a wide smile and the air came out of her a little snatched. Clearly, she was having a hard time keeping herself from laughing. Finally, the seriousness returned to her features and she looked at him straight in the face, stone serious.

"How many children do you want?"

The question baffled him to the extent of forgetting to breathe for a second. Or two. The frame of her image in front of him was static as if for a whole eternity before something shifted. Her lips pursed together within an inhuman attempt to keep the business-like, interrogatory deadpan.

"I don't think-"

"Answer me." Her snap was, mildly said, intimidating.

"Uh, alright." Shino backed away in fear, his breath hitching once or twice. "How many children do I want? I don't know… five?"

There was a brief pause in which neither of them moved but then Amaya burst into laughter.

"Ok. Five is good. You did say you love children. You can go with three for a starter, though."

"I don't understand why we are discussing the matter since I have no prospects… uh, concerning children."

"You don't?" Amaya asked, her eyebrows up in absolute astonishment and eyes wide open.

"No. I don't think I will ever have. Most people find me disgusting." Shino explained, slowly averting from her, finding it less uncomfortable to talk about this with his eyes straight ahead.

Silence fell between them again and Amaya shifted closer to him, without making a single sound. Her warm breath came closer to his face and it shimmered on his skin. She was humming disapprovingly. Her voice came a little more like a turbulent shock than a soothing experience and she surely knew that.

"Of course, there are exceptions… but I'm n-not sure whether they will comply to-"

"Shino are you gonna ask me something or not?" Amaya sighed.

"I… alright." He agreed quickly, facing her. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," Amaya replied right away and laughed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You were going to say something, though. Your turn."

Shino stared at her at a complete loss and estimated his chances.

"I was going to ask you to marry me."

Amaya cuffed him on the shoulder, laughing out loud. "You liar."

"It's true."

Amaya squinted, backing away a little.

"But why?"

Shino looked up to the glass and smiled. It was unbelievably ironic _and_ ridiculous. All of it. Because the solution to all the issues has been in front of him and he didn't see it. It fit so well that he wondered why he was nervous or unsure about it in the first place. Beautiful. "Because a consensual marriage between an Aburame and a Kamizuru is a legal peace treaty that no one can call in question."

Amaya's eyes widened. Her surprise was equally strong as the joy that she emanated. She jumped on him and stormed a kiss on him as he smiled at her frantic reaction.

"And it's a peace treaty that will last more than one generation." She backed away, hands around his neck and breathing heavily. "The bloodline will merge as it has been in the beginning."

"Yes."

"It's destined, then." She leaned her forehead on his, closing her eyes.

"It is." Shino shifted, furrowing a little. "Only… about the kids."

"Can't take your words back now, sorry! Five is five." She bit her lip. "Quite a lot for someone who doesn't even like hugs."

"In my defense, I was frightened for my life."

Her whole body trembled with a low chuckle.

"You're straight out of a fairy tale, I swear."

* * *

 _A/N: Monday is the worst so why not update today, huh? Thanks for reading, guys! I'm kinda back, but don't be too happy. I decided this story would need one-two chapters more at most because I'll be doing some majorly difficult and attention-consuming things in my life (plus moving to another place) and won't be able to update/write fanfics for a while (not too long, I hope) and I didn't want to leave people hanging with this story. I've been writing it for a long time anyway._

 _I thought that I'd like to give my ship a quiet reunion, as opposed to a loud one, which is a cliché, because they're both quiet and insect-users. I hope it was as cute as I wanted it to be._

 _Till next time!_

 _P.S. Might have lots of typos, I'll try to fix whatever I can later when I am not in a hurry. Sorry for them!_


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